punjabiplaya Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the paki doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."
punjabiplaya Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 The police raided Kermit the frogs lily pad and found hundreds of pictures of Miss Piggy in the nude. They said its the worst case of frogs porn they have ever seen.
punjabiplaya Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 Newly married jewish couple layin in bed-man says-make the tea wife!woman says-its the mans job-man says no way!woman says look here,it even says it here in the bible-first page says-HEBREWS!
Sid Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Just after my wife had given birth' date=' I asked the paki doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::cantstop::cantstop::cantstop::cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 A paki woman arrives home late from work and notices her husband is asleep in bed. She decides she'll let him know shes home by preforming oral sex.She carefully lowers his boxers and gives him a blow job.Soon after, the husband groans hai hai and comes like he never came before.She then goes to the bathroom to wash up and see's her husband in there. "What the feck are you doing in here amir!?" she shouts."Ssshhhh," says amir, "you'll wake your dad."
punjabiplaya Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. > > She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife . 'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed. She watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.' :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 I was watching the iranian Women's World Cup final earlier, and found myself thinking that I haven't played Pacman for years.
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 I thought I heard my next door neighbours shagging last night. I heard moaning and banging on the wall. The next day my neighbour told me that her elderly mother had fallen and tried to get attention by banging her walking stick on the wall. I feel a bit guilty now for having a w*nk . . . .
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 Abdul's waiting at a bus stop busting for a sh*t & can't hold it any longer so drops his pants and curls one out on the pavement. Bus arrives and Abdul asks driver: "How much to Bradford?" Driver replies: "£2.70 for you and £1.50 for the nipper".....
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 I met a girl in the park last night. We got chatting, and things were going well, so I though I'd try my luck.I said, "Simon says take your top off." Off it came."Simon says take off your bra." Out came the tits.After I'd groped them for a while, I said, "Simon says get naked and bend over."I fecked her hard up the ar*e and came inside her. I then pulled up my pants and walked one way, as she ran off the other way, screaming.It's great having a knife called Simon.
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 Shifting her knees slightly my girlfriend moved forwards then backwards, forwards then backwards, back and forth, back and forth. The more she did this the louder my sighs got, before she finally screamed out at the top of her voice, "I CAN'T PARK THIS FECKING CAR. YOU TRY AND DO IT YOU SMUG BAST*RD!"
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, tits like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail."What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?" she breathed."I'd say 'nether am I'."She raised her eyebrows. "Really? I'm wearing none because it gives men like you.." she licked her lips, "easy access..""Oh?" I replied. "I've got none on because I shat myself in the gents."
punjabiplaya Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 Quasiemodo goes into an asian brothel he sez how much for a shag, woman say £12.50, he replied i only have a tenner n she told him to feck off. He goes to a white brothel & its only £10.00 so he does the deed. 10 years later he bumps into a kid with a hump. Kid says "your my dad and its all your fault i have a hump". Quasie says "count yourself fecking lucky, if i had another £2.50 you'd be a paki!" :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Desi Cartman Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Quasiemodo goes into an asian brothel he sez how much for a shag, woman say £12.50, he replied i only have a tenner n she told him to feck off. He goes to a white brothel & its only £10.00 so he does the deed. 10 years later he bumps into a kid with a hump. Kid says "your my dad and its all your fault i have a hump". Quasie says "count yourself fecking lucky, if i had another £2.50 you'd be a paki!" :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Desi Cartman Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Pakistanis? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. this has to be the best joke ever !
Dark Warrior Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 What do prison showers and caps locks have in common? They both turn your o into O.
Dark Warrior Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Reports say that the stench from thousands of bodies in Pakistan is unbearable. Police say that it's likely to get worse now that there's dead ones as well.
Dark Warrior Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Disappointment (noun): The feeling when you buffer 4 porn videos but cum during the first one.
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