punjabiplaya Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 A policeman knocked on my door last night. He said, "I'm afraid your wife has been involved in a serious accident." I said, "You might want to knock next door mate." "Oh" he said. "Are you not Mr Smith?" I said, "Yes, but next door might actually give a sh*t."
Stuge Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 level of good jokes are decreasing day by day .
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 level of good jokes are decreasing day by day . i am to busy lately...to post many jokes as my wifes due in 3 weeks..maybe others can also post?
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Why do black babies get two slaps on the ar*e when they're born? One slap so they start breathing and the other so they let go of the midwife's watch.
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Called round to see my african friend today. When I got there I saw spray-painted right across the front of his house 'NIG*ERS OUT!'. I thought that's a bit extreme. He could have just left a note on the door saying he wasn't in!
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 My Maths Teacher Asked Me Today What 69x2 Is. Apparently Getting Twice As Lucky Wasn't The Answer
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 I burst into a hotel I was passing with a young girl over my shoulder last night. "Please, I've just found her unconscious in the street," I panted. "I think she's taken an overdose of drugs." "Shall I phone an ambulance?" the receptionist panicked. "No," I replied. "I want a room."
Sidhoni Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical: :giggle:
asterix Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical: Thats brutal :cantstop:
Sidhoni Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me." Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!" He lost 63 pounds that week
Stuge Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing. Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5 people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at their reflection. :hysterical: :giggle::giggle::giggle::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Little Johnny walks past his parents' bedroom, glances in, keeps on walking and murmurs: "Two-faced basta*ds, sending me to a fecking psychiatrist because I still suck my thumb."
punjabiplaya Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I care about how girls feel. The firmer the better. :winky:
punjabiplaya Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I was in London the other day when I got mugged by two Chinese guys. The police have narrowed it down to 75,000 suspects.
Recommended Posts