punjabiplaya Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 What's the difference between Luis Suarez and the Ku Klux Klan? Suarez wasted 8 matches on one black c**t!!!
punjabiplaya Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 I was laid on the sofa watching TV earlier when I phoned my wife. I said, "When you get home, your clothes will be on the lawn!" "You can't kick me out!" she replied. "I pay the bills." "I'm not," I replied. "The washing line has just snapped."
Rose Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After Mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me" 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry," 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!
punjabiplaya Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 Reported racist chanting from select Liverpool fans towards 20-year-old Oldham midfielder Tom Adeyemi reduce him to tears. Prime suspect is Luis Suarez
punjabiplaya Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 What's the betting, every time Natasha Giggs hears, "This is Big Brother..." ... She pulls her knickers off and gets on her back???
punjabiplaya Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 I went to Bradford yesterday and the racial stereotype simply wasn't true. It was much, much worse.
punjabiplaya Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 This is your pilot speaking. Thank you for flying from Pakistan with British Airways. We have now landed at Heathrow Airport, London, England. May I remind you all to re-set your watches. The time is now.......the 21st Century! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 Why do blacks have white palms? To help the police put handcuffs on in the dark
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 What do you call a Paki with 38 cousins ? Spoilt for choice. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 I don't see a problem with slavery really, it's the only way we can get black people to do any work!
shinchan Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 What do you call a Paki with 38 cousins ? Spoilt for choice. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2012 Author Posted January 8, 2012 Ahmed said he had sex with 3 baby goats last night. I think he was kidding.... :giggle:
Dawood Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Boss: Where were you born? Sardar: India .. Boss: which part? Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India . ***************************************************************** 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more. ***************************************************************** Sardar: What is the name of your car? Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol. ***************************************************************** Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. ***************************************************************** At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? ***************************************************************** Sardar: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! ' ***************************************************************** NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE: In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ..... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... ***************************************************************** Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Sardar: An old king's skeleton. Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it? Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Dawood Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Sardarji lost his cheque book. He approached bank manager and informed manager regarding it. Manager : You should have taken care as any one can sign your cheque on ur behalf and empty your deposits. Sardarji : How can others sign? I am not a fool. I have already signed all the cheques.
Sidhoni Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 {DAUGHTER} : Dad Im Lesbian Dad: Oh okay 2nd Daughter: Im Also Lesbian Dad: WTF! Dosen't Anyone From This Family Love MEN? Son: I Do .. :D
shinchan Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 {DAUGHTER} : Dad Im Lesbian Dad: Oh okay 2nd Daughter: Im Also Lesbian Dad: WTF! Dosen't Anyone From This Family Love MEN? Son: I Do .. :D :giggle::giggle:
Dawood Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Gandhi went to gym at the age of 24. One of his friend said,"Wah bapu, kya body hai". Tabhi se bapu ne shirt pehenna chor diya.
Number Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Indian Dressing room conversation after losing the Perth Test to Australia- Dhoni: Yippie…. 2 days off, woh bhi “Paid Holiday”. Laxman: Aggar yeh saale dhokebaaz (Virat & Dravid) nahi khelte toh 3 din off milte ... Dravid: Dhokebaaz main nahi Virat hain. Akale hi century bana ke “hero” banna chahta tha. Accha hua ki Vinay, Zaheer aur Ishant ne isko dhoka diya .Well done boys…. Umesh & Zaheer: Haan yaar…. do din mein match katam karne ki chakkar mein hamne itne mehnet kar ke Australia ki poori team ko bhi out kiya tha. Virat bhai, aisa cheating nahi karne ka. Tendulkar: Aiilla!!!! Cheating toh mere saath hui hai. Do din mein match khatam karne ke chakkar mein, mera toh 100th Ton bhi chala gaya aur ek din chutti bhi gayi…. Rohit Sharma- Mujhe toh ek b match nai khilaya :( Dhoni- abey pagle tu form me chal rha hai. Achha khel gya toh match faltu me 4-5 din ka ho jayega. Tu IPL pe dhyan de. :haha: :cantstop: Duncan Fletcher- hey hey guyzz... Jo hua so hua , ..nw don't waste time n lets go to bungee jumping :) Team India- Yuhooo....
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 My wife called me into the bedroom last night, opened the top drawer of her dressing table and said, "I've noticed that every pair of panties I own looks misshapen and the elastic on them is all stretched. Would you care to explain why what is"."Well there's a perfectly simple explanation", I stammered, unable to conceal my nerves at what I was about to say. "You have a massive a*se".
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