ViratTendulkar Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Santa ki maa: 20 Saal Tak Meri Koi aulad Nhi Hui. press reporter: fir apne kya kiya? Maa:Fir main 21 Saal ki hui to papa ne meri shadi karai Tab Ja k SANTA hua.
punjabiplaya Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London . Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair". Paddy said to his pal, "Mick, look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of dose and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune. Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking cause if they hear our accents, they might think were thickos from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on my best English accent". "Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da business" said Mick. They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up me truck ready to load em on, so I will." The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Ireland , aren't you?" "Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?" The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners" !
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Barry Gibb has asked that Robin be buried with his twin Maurice .... The grave digger said it depends "HOW DEEP IS YOUR BRUV"
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 I've just tied the knot & I'm so happy. Now, I've just got to kick the chair she's standing on & I'm a free man!!!
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 4 Billion people will be watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony. Not me though, if I wanted to look at a bunch of c**ts who haven't worked for the last 4 years wandering around in tracksuits I'd go to Liverpool...
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 My wife was fuming when I untagged myself from some pictures she put on Facebook. "They were totally embarrassing though," I pleaded. "Embarrassing?" she snapped. "It was our fecking wedding day, you bast*rd!"
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 My mate called me today and said, "I've just had a huge fight with the wife. Have you got a spare bed for a few weeks until I find a flat?" "I'm afraid not," I replied, "but I've got a sofa, if that's any good." "Perfect," he said. "You're an absolute legend! I'll send her round in a bit."
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Sid Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I've just tied the knot & I'm so happy. Now' date=' I've just got to kick the chair she's standing on & I'm a free man!!![/quote'] :cantstop:
Tiger-Don Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus. "Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says. "Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids." "Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children." "Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man. "Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it." "Dunno 'bout that, " the man said. "Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful." "Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers. Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up. Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?" "47, " came the reply. "What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?"
Tiger-Don Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Condom Slogans 1. Cover your stump before you hump 2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3. Don't be silly, protect your willy 4. When in doubt, shroud your spout 5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong 7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey 9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize 10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick 12. If you go into heat, package your meat 13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis 14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse 15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member 16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker 17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool 18. The right selection will protect your erection 19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil 20. A crank with armor will never harm her 21. No glove, no love!
punjabiplaya Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Amir entered the Young Musician of the Year last week....... He said She didn't half scream.
punjabiplaya Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 I returned home after spending the night shagging my wife's alcoholic sister and I was riddled with guilt. My wife started screaming, "Where the feck have you been?" I decided it was best to come clean and tell her the truth, "I'm really sorry!" I replied, "I spent all night in the local boozer." Surprisingly, she took it quite well. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Where does a paki gay guy go to have sex? Up a dark Ali.
punjabiplaya Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Walking down the street, I realised there was a paki lying on the floor. I wasn't sure if he was dead so i went back to check on him. I beat him up a couple more times just to make sure. :winky:
Sid Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :cantstop:
adi B Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :haha:
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