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Posted
An irish woman was admitted to hospital after phone sex. Docters removed 2 Nokias' date=' 3 Motorolas and a Samsung, No Siemen was found.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical:
Posted
The 100m final at the 2012 Olympics will be just like any other Friday night in London.You'll hear a gunshot followed by 8 Nig*ers fecking legging it.
:haha:
Posted

There's a new limited edition BMW M3 being released. As I've always wanted a flash car I went to the local dealership to put my name down for one. Turns out that as it's a limited "Flagship model" they don't just sell them to anyone, They make you fill out a bloody great list of questions to check that you are a true "BMW enthusiast" first. Unfortunately, I failed the test. Seems I'm not an arrogant self centred ars*hole.......... Oh, And I know what an indicator switch is.

Posted

Me and my wife were in bed last night, when suddenly I farted. "You dirty bast*rd!" she said, "You've just followed through." "No I haven't." I laughed. "Yes you have!" she screamed, jumping out of the 69 position. :haha:

Posted

I was walking through town earlier with my wife, when a group of teenagers shouted "Oi, mate! Your missus is seriously fecking ugly!" "Why don't you just feck off!" I shouted... At my wife.

Posted

My missus packed my bags and as I walked out of the front door she screamed... "I wish u a slow and painful death u bast*rd!" "Oh" I replied, "so u want me to fecking stay now!"

Posted
Pete the serial flasher was thinking of retiring, but he's gonna stick it out for another year. :hysterical::hysterical:
:haha:
Posted

A woman has sued a hospital stating that after recent treatment her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: 'All we did was correct his eye sight' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

Posted
A woman has sued a hospital stating that after recent treatment her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: 'All we did was correct his eye sight' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Posted

I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn't let me in. I shouted to my wife, "Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?" "Yes honey." "What is it?" "It's the date of our anniversary." B1tch.

Posted
I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn't let me in. I shouted to my wife, "Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?" "Yes honey." "What is it?" "It's the date of our anniversary." B1tch.
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Posted

Paki dies and goes to hell. The Devil shows him 3 doors, "choose one and you'll spend eternity there." Paki looks behind door 1, boiling water was dripping from the ceiling, 2nd has hot coals on the floor to walk on, 3rd door has an old man getting a blowjob from a busty naked blonde. Being smart, the paki says, "I'll take door 3." Devil taps the blonde on the shoulder, "You can go now, the pakis taking over!" :haha:

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