punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2015 Author Posted January 26, 2015 Abdul sometimes is philosophical..... Abdul: Have you ever had that feeling where you want sex so much, your balls hurt? Me:? Abdul: I have, some woman just kicked me straight between the legs and ran away screaming!! :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2015 Author Posted January 26, 2015 Me: If we weren't related, I'd totally sleep with you. Hot girl: But we aren't related. Me: Oh good, so you feel the same way too. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 My neighbour knocked on my door first thing this morning. She said, "I can't believe how noisy you are during sex!" I said, "Shhh, my wife will hear you." :--D
punjabiplaya Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 My wife told me if she ever caught me cheating on her she would kill herself. As if the temptation wasn`t strong enough, then she had to dangle that carrot under my nose. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 I phoned the wife while she was out shopping, "Darling, I'm horny. Can you get some condoms?" She replied, "Great, I'll be home soon!" When she returned home, I took the condoms out of her bag and said, "Thanks, see you later!" :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 My ex-wife called me the other day and asked out of the blue if I missed her. "No i bloody well do not miss you" was my reply. She broke down into tears, and asked "Why not?!" "Because you're so fecking fat that I can't see anything else" was apparently not the answer she wanted to hear... :haha:
adi B Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 A teenage girl came home from school and asked her mother, "Is it true what, Rita just told me, that babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?" :haha::haha: :hysterical::hysterical:
adi B Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 A girl goes into the doctor's for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we sh*g," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we shag," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Washington. Why?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Brilliant :hysterical:
adi B Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I saw some gorgeous identical twins standing at the bar last night. Lovely pair of jugs on each of them n both with the tightest as*ses u can imagne... I staggered over and said, "Do you ladies fancy coming back to my place for a threesome?" "You're drunk aren't you?" they asked. "No," I slurred, "What makes you think that?" They said, "I'm standing here on my own." :cantstop: Hehe.Brilliant playa :nice:
gaurav92 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 A girl goes into the doctor's for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we sh*g," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we shag," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Washington. Why?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
CricketPlayer92 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 A teenage girl came home from school and asked her mother, "Is it true what, Rita just told me, that babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?" :haha::haha: hahahaha great :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 I knocked at my date's door today and her father answered. He said, "My daughter tells me that you have a date with her." "That's correct," I said. "So where are you hoping to take her?" he asked "Up the ar*e," I replied...perhaps the answer he wasnt expecting!! :hysterical::hysterical:
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Arun lal Jokes from Twitter. Credit to the original poster. Arun Lal shaving... *comes out of the bathroom bleeding* Wife~what happened? Arun Lal~Blade Ka baahari kinara laga. Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 When Arun Lal was born, doctor said "bahari kinara aur ye out Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Arun lal bread ka beech ka hissa nahi, kewal "bahari kinara" khaatey hain. Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 बाहरी किनारे की बढ़ती संख्या देखते हुए भारतीय टीम को विश्व कप से भी किनारा कर लेना चाहिए ---- अरुण लाल Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 बीवी- साले दिनभर कमेंट्री करता है, राशन खतम हो गया है कौन लायेगा?? बस बकवास सुन लो इसकी अरुण लाल- और इन्होने पुरी तरह से नियंत्रण खोया
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 वाइफ: आज कौनसी पॉजिशन? अरूण लाल: वाइफ: क्या हुआ, बोलते क्यो नहीं? अरूण लाल: मन में संदेह| Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
sir ji Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 *In market* Wife : Arey dekho chor mera purse lekar bhaag gaya Arun lal : क़दमों का बेहतरीन उपयोग Sent from my MI 3W using Tapatalk
Recommended Posts