punjabiplaya Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 Snow is like a willy, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it. Driving in the snow is like eating pus*y. If you dont slow down and pay attention you could slide into the assehole in front of you! BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!
punjabiplaya Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 When paki parents have to use the, "Open wide, here comes the air-plane!" technique, do they just smash it in their face and make explosive noises? :hysterical:
EnterTheVoid Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 When paki parents have to use the, "Open wide, here comes the air-plane!" technique, do they just smash it in their face and make explosive noises? :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Shark, lobster, crab and scouser. Which one is the odd one out? The shark. The other three pinch like feck and wear shell suits.
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Bernard Mathews has dies today aged 80,The funeral will be held next week at norfolk crematorium, 11am, gasmark 6 for 3 hours James BLunt is singing @ Bernard Matthews funeral Your Bootifull
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 The 8 qualities of the perfect girlfriend: Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy & Sensible. In other words, B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
Desi Cartman Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 The 8 qualities of the perfect girlfriend: Brave' date=' Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy & Sensible. In other words, B.I.G.T.I.T.S.[/quote'] :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 The kids shouted through, "Come quick dad, Nan's ready to take you on at boxing" Sure enough, there she was, in the middle of the front room, the mother-in-law with her fists clenched and posed to strike. Well I just lashed out and took her out with the one punch ...It was then I remembered we'd just got the new Kinnect game.
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 My girlfriend thought she was being funny when she said my c*ck resembled a Tic Tac. After she had finished her little victory laugh, I asked her "If that really is the case, how come your sister still has bad breath?"
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Dont be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere! :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Brian Cowen (Irish PM) today announced that he is changing our emblem from a shamrock to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pri*ks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 As a result of the growing number of foreigners coming to the UK we now have 'The Immigrant Channel' with these great shows: Currynation St Ahmed-dale Bollyoaks Pakorama MiddleEast Enders Britain's Got Taliban U've Been Bombed Big Buddah Postman Pak I'm An Immigrant Get Me Into Here Black Peter and for our Israeli friends Scooby Jew.
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 I was outside the pub having a ***, when this guy in a wheelchair asked "why do you smoke, when you don't need to." I looked at him & said "why the feck do you wear shoes".
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 a jewish man applied for citizenship in pakistan, but was refused due to the fact he had been circumcised. apparently you have to be a complete knob to be a paki. :hysterical:
Desi Cartman Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I was outside the pub having a ***, when this guy in a wheelchair asked "why do you smoke, when you don't need to." I looked at him & said "why the feck do you wear shoes". Ouch :cantstop:
gaurav92 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Dont be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere! :hysterical::hysterical: The 8 qualities of the perfect girlfriend: Brave' date=' Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy & Sensible. In other words, B.I.G.T.I.T.S.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Santa ka baap USA se aaya aur pucha - teri maa kahan hai? Santa bola - woh to mar gayi. baap bola tune mujhe bataya kyu nahi? Santa - maine socha surprise dunga. ------------------------ Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!! ----------------------- Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai? Santa: Mere pair upar aur sar neeche kar k faansi de do. ------------------------ I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
Dark Warrior Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 A man wanted a watchdog, so he went to the pet store. He asks the clerk, "Do you have a good watchdog?" The clerk replies, "You're in luck; I have one left." She comes back with a chihuahua. The man, a little ticked off, says "What the hell do I need a chihuahua for? That's not a watchdog!" The clerk replies, "But this is a special watchdog. He knows karate." The clerk takes the chihuahua and the man out to an alley, where there is some trashy furniture. The clerk points to a chair and says, "Karate that chair!" Less than a second later, the chihuahua reduces the chair to sawdust. The clerk points to a sofa and commands the dog to "Karate that sofa! Repeat performance. The man, amazed, buys the dog for $100 and takes it home. When he gets home, the man shows his wife the chihuahua proclaiming, "Honey, I got you a watchdog!" The wife yells, "That isn't a watchdog, for cryin' out loud! You wasted your money!" The man calmly replies, "This is a special watchdog. He knows karate." The wife, flustered, shouts: "Karate?!? Karate my ass!!!"
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 I just bought a Christmas tree. The assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I replied "No you sick bast*rd. It's going in the living room...."
punjabiplaya Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 A sardar and a tiger walk into a bar. sardar 'Do you serve paki's ?' Barman 'Of course, we're not racist'. 'Great,a pint for me and a paki for the tiger! :hysterical::hysterical:
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