punjabiplaya Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 I've just seen a fat paki ugly girl on a sledge. She said, "Can you pull me?" I said, "Probably, but I'd have to be fecking pissed 1st".
punjabiplaya Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 A girl asks her doctor how many calories there are in sperm? Doctor says "Believe me,love,if you swallow, no one gives a feck how fat you are".
punjabiplaya Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 I recently opened up a Health Clinic in Africa. However, the ungrateful gits closed it within an hour. I must admit, naming it "Spades With Aids" did upset a few of the locals!
punjabiplaya Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off"
punjabiplaya Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 I've been involved in a road accident. I ran into 3 Paki's. One went thru my windscreen, the 2nd dented my bonnet & the 3rd flew 2OOyds up the road! The Police have been brilliant! One Paki's been done for breaking & entering, one for criminal damage & the other for leaving the scene of an accident.
punjabiplaya Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Man pinches his wifes ass & says, 'do u know if u firm this up u could get rid of ur girdle'. Rather pissed off she decided 2 say nothing. Later that night in bed the husband squeezed her tits & said 'do u know if u firmed these up u could get rid of ur bra!' Absolutely fuming the wife reached over, grabbed his c*ck & said... 'if u firmed this up we could get rid of the gardener, the milkman & ur feckin brother!
punjabiplaya Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 Just stole a turkey from Tesco. Security man ran after me shouting 'what u doing with that'. So I shouted back 'Roast Spuds, peas, carrots & gravy, u nosey fecker !'
punjabiplaya Posted December 22, 2010 Author Posted December 22, 2010 It's getting close to that time of year when that fat bastard with the beard brings presents round for the kids.Or as my wife likes to call her "Mum".
punjabiplaya Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 Paddy says to Mick - Im ready for a holiday only this year im going to do it a bit different. 3yrs ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2yrs ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year? Paddy replies - This year I think I'll take her with me!
gaurav92 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Paddy says to Mick - Im ready for a holiday only this year im going to do it a bit different. 3yrs ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2yrs ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year? Paddy replies - This year I think I'll take her with me! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachinism Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Flavour of the month and all that: :haha: You're gonna have many people upset
Dark Warrior Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 So, I got "Inception" on DVD for Christmas. Had to open 4 DVD cases to get to the disk though.
Dark Warrior Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Commentator talking : "Once he gets through his periods, he can score big." WTF?
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Yoko Ono has signed up for the next I'm a celebraty get me outta here. She should do well she's been living off a dead beatle the past 30 years.
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 They've just introduced a black character into the cluedo game...but it ****s the game up, because you know who's done it right from the start
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 If u woke up with a bad taste in your mouth. Don,t worry santa only cums once a year!
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 Sardar wanted twins. So what did he do? Think Think Think Think Think Think He made 2 holes in the condom SINGH IS KING !
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 This Christmas shoppin lark is a load of crap. I went to Boots, they don't sell boots. I went to Selfridges, they don't sell fridges. I went to Curry's, they don't sell curry. As for Virgin Megastore, what a huge bloody disappointment!
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