gaurav92 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 An old man and an old woman sit in the park everyday. Their too old to have sex, so she just holds his co*k for an hour or so... This happens every day, till one day he's not there. She goes to look for him, and there he is, on another bench, with another old woman holding his co*k. She gets very jealous and asks,''what the feck's she got that i haven't?'' he replies, ''parkinsons!'' :hysterical: Big Bad Wolf tells Little Red Riding Hood unbutton ur top so i can suck ur t*ts. feck off she says pulling down her knickers' date=' eat me like the fecking book says![/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 shoiab &abdul are at the morgue to identify salmans's body that's badly burnt. shoiab goes to look first' date=' he turns the body over, looks at his bum & says, "Thats not Salmans!" abdul goes next, he turns the body over, looks at the bum & also says, ''Thats not Salmans!'' The Doctor asks, "How do you know its not him? shoaib says, "Because when we all used to go out, people would say, ''Here comes Salman with the two ass holes!"[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Playa :hail::hail::hail::hail:
punjabiplaya Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 What do you call a ' Paki ' prostitute in french. . . ? LA-HORE!
Sachin2210 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 A bloke is sunbathing with nothing but a hat covering his co*k! Two women walk past and one sniggers and says "if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat to a lady!" The bloke replies' date=' "if you weren't so fecking ugly the hat would lift itself!"[/quote'] Epic. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 A lesbian has collapsed after licking 15 minges.........doctors think she may have overdosed on crack! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 £14 for a full Christmas dinner that feeds three That's why mums go to Iceland. £10 for an 18 year old bouncing on your c*ck all day that's why dads go to Thailand. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I'm sick of the double standards in my relationship - wife comes home with a ''rampant rabbit'' and she's a naughty fun girl with a special new toy, but when i order 240volt ''fistmaster 5000 latex pussy with realistic elasticated arsehole and spunk collection tray'', then i'm some kind of sick bast*rd!
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 Most Chelsea fans can't remember a worse run of form since they were Fulham fans
punjabiplaya Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 How did your New Years Eve go? I got arrested in London, just seconds before midnight. I tried to explain that it was a misunderstanding i mean when u see a Paki counting down from ten it's a natural reaction to knock the fecker out before he hits the detonator !! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Jadoo Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 How did your New Years Eve go? I got arrested in London, just seconds before midnight. I tried to explain that it was a misunderstanding i mean when u see a Paki counting down from ten it's a natural reaction to knock the fecker out before he hits the detonator !! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :cantstop::cantstop::cantstop: Awesome P
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 A range of paki religious books are now available - titles include: Finding a Job, by Oyeah Asif ; Cooking Curry, by Ahmed Astink ; Easy DIY, by Mahroof Isfeckd ; Inbreeding, by Shahag Misistah ; & my personal favourite . . . . . Killing the pakis, by Shahoot Dhakunt :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 Roy hodgson - worst pool manager since michael barrymore !
punjabiplaya Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 If you were naked in bed, laying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr, which one would you turn your back to?
punjabiplaya Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 What is the difference between a paki/afghani wife and an Essex wife ? Answer: An Essex wife gets stoned before committing adultery. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Bruce, an Australian who was working on contract for 3 months in Dublin was drinking in the Donoghue pub in Merrion Row when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, orders a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, because he announces his wife, back, home has just produced a typical baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but Bruce just shrugs, "That's about average in Oz. Like I said, my boy is a typical Australian baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations were heard. One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later Bruce returns to the bar. Greg, the bartender says "You're the father of that typical Australian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been having bets about how big he'd be in 2 weeks, we were going to call you. So how much does he weigh now?"The proud father answers "17 pounds" Greg is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born." Bruce takes a long s-l-o-w swig from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans onto the bar and proudly says .............."Had him circumcised mate"
punjabiplaya Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Clarks shoes have designed a new range for Jamaicans. There is: #Rassclarks, #Pussyclarks, #Bloodclarks and top of the range, #Bumbaclarks
Sachin=GOD Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Most Chelsea fans can't remember a worse run of form since they were Fulham fans :two_thumbs_up::two_thumbs_up:
Sachinism Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Whats tight and wet? A Guji in the rain ---- My wife told me to get on the internet and buy something that makes me last longer in bed I've ordered some sleeping pills ---- I've always had a thing for women in uniform so I recently arrange to see a police woman I met through an internet dating site. Imagine my disappointment when she turned out to be a 15 year old nympho ----- I was having a w4nk the other day, when suddenly my grandma walked in and had a stroke. Couldn't believe how soft her hands were ---- The pill.....is the second best thing a girl can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
Sachin=GOD Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Best jokes on the Australian cricket team after the Ashes: 1) What do you call an Australian with 100 by his name? A bowler. 2) Why can't Aussies open bottles? Because they don't have any openers. 3) What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter. 4) What do you call a world class Australian? Retired. 5) What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube? Laughing stock.
Jadoo Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 A range of paki religious books are now available - titles include: Finding a Job, by Oyeah Asif ; Cooking Curry, by Ahmed Astink ; Easy DIY, by Mahroof Isfeckd ; Inbreeding, by Shahag Misistah ; & my personal favourite . . . . . Killing the pakis, by Shahoot Dhakunt :hysterical: :cantstop::cantstop::cantstop::cantstop:
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