punjabiplaya Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 There's been a power cut in Dublin's largest department store today, some customers have been stuck on the escalators for over three hours!
punjabiplaya Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 What did the Nurse say when she found a Rectal Thermometer in her pocket? Some ass hole has got my pen!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Paddy goes into Wetherspoons & asks how much the cocktails are. Barman says "£4 a glass & £10 for a pitcher" Paddy asks " buy jaysus why on earth would I want me photo taken with a feckin drink ?"
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I can't wait till Elton John's kid discovers porn and realises sucking a c*ck isn't breastfeeding !!
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Little Johnny was in a maths lesson when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you £20" she began, "and you gave £5 to Mary, £5 to Sally and £5 to Susan, what would you have?". Johnny thought about this and answered, "An orgy?"
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 My paki neighbour Ahmed loves his job as an impressionist. So far his blind sister thinks she has sucked off david beckham, jonny depp, and brad pitt.
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I sh*gged my best mate's girlfriend last night, and today I feel absolutely terrible...... She must have given me a cold or something! :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 If you were naked in bed, laying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr, which one would you turn your back to?
punjabiplaya Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 I've got a trial soon at Old Trafford, to see if I'm up to scratch and whether Sir Alex Ferguson will use me. To be honest, it's the biggest day in any young referee's career
punjabiplaya Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 Tommy got kicked out of class today!! The teacher asked him, "if I gave you £20 and you paid £5 to joanne £5 to claire and £5 to Katie, what would you have?? Aparently "3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab" was the wrong answer!
punjabiplaya Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Apparently, I can't say "Black paint!" any more. I have to be PC and say, "Please paint that wall, Leroy."
punjabiplaya Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Breaking News..RSPCA ... 11 Donkeys beaten mercilessly in Blackpool last night police are also helping with inquiries....
punjabiplaya Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 My Girlfriend asked me if I wanted a new wall calendar for next year? I said "Yes, get me one of those special ones with t*ts, pussys and asses all over it." She came back with the fecking 2011 West Ham calendar !
punjabiplaya Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Copper pulls over a motorist and says "been drinking have we sir?". The guy replys "No. Why, was i driving erratically?". Copper says "No. Its the fecking fat, ugly paki bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious!" :hysterical:
asterix Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Tommy got kicked out of class today!! The teacher asked him' date=' "if I gave you £20 and you paid £5 to joanne £5 to claire and £5 to Katie, what would you have?? Aparently "3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab" was the wrong answer![/quote'] :hysterical:
asterix Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 If you were naked in bed' date=' laying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr, which one would you turn your back to?[/quote'] :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 A paki goes to Chemist and asks for Aspirin. The Chemist gives him his order and he leaves. The Chemist then realises he's given him Arsenic not Aspirin. He runs after him and catches up and says, 'Sorry mate, I've given you Arsenic instead of Aspirin', the paki asks 'whats the difference?' the Chemist replies 'you owe me another pound.
punjabiplaya Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Europe has decided it is no longer acceptable to call people illegal immigrants or asylum seekers. They should now be addressed as 'travellers without authority to stay'. (Or T. W. A. T. S For short)
Desi Cartman Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS." ...................................... Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Desi Cartman Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
Recommended Posts