Sachin=GOD Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Me daughters just walked into the living room and said 'cancel my allowance' date=' trash my bedroom, throw all my clothes out the window, take my front door and car keys away and kick me out of the house'. Well she did'nt actualy put it like that-she said 'dad, say hello to shoaib'[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The Wong's have a baby. The nurse brings in the new baby boy,but it is white. What will u name the baby asks the nurse?. Well,says Mr Wong, 2 Wongs don't make a white,so i think we'll name him, Sum Ting Fecking Wong
punjabiplaya Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 One woman stops a taxi. To the airport, please. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant. Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither.
punjabiplaya Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet. The wife takes the hint and says, OK, but I have to use the bathroom first. So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face. Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right? No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor. Her husband looks over and grunts Clumsy bit*h.
punjabiplaya Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Paddy and his two friends are talking at work. His first friend says:I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine. His second friend says:I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine. Paddy says:I think my wife is having an affair with a horse. Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.
f.b.m Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 [ame= - Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle Synergy[/ame]
Dills Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Just split up from my cross eyed girlfriend. I'm sure she was seeing someone else. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out ‘get this out of me? Give me the drugs.’ She looked at me and said, ‘You did this to me you bastard!’ I casually replied, ‘If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, ‘it'll be too painful.’ An indian bloke goes to put his wifes death in the local paper, they tell him its £1 a word. He only has £4 so he says to put in, "Sanjit Patel is dead", they take pity on him and tell him he can have another 4 words free, he said , thanks, put in, "Sanjit Patel is dead, SHOP OPEN AS USUAL" Indian goes into a brothel and says "How much for a shag?" Hooker replies "£100" Guy says "I'll pay u £200 for Indianstyle" The hooker gets worried and says no. The Indian offers her £500 and the hooker thinks ok how bad can Indianstyle be, so she agrees. After 30mins hooker says "That was amazing but where does the Indianstyle come in?" The Indian says "I'll pay u next week!!" How do pakis name their baby? If he smiles.. 'Ismail' if he looks like half a Naan...'Ad-naan' If he has 1hair.. 'Iqbal' If he has 1hair on ear.. 'Iqbal khan' If he has 1hair on bum.. 'Ass-if-iqbal' and my favourite one.... If he shakes mom's boobs.. 'Sheikh Mah-Boob' Oh how freaking hilarious......well done......:haha::haha: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Sid Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Me daughters just walked into the living room and said 'cancel my allowance' date=' trash my bedroom, throw all my clothes out the window, take my front door and car keys away and kick me out of the house'. Well she did'nt actualy put it like that-she said 'dad, say hello to shoaib'[/quote'] :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Two testicles were arguing about what they really were.The first said, "I think we're walnuts."The second said "I think we're chestnuts."The penis turned to them and said, " Will you two shut the feck up. You're both talking bollo*ks!"
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 paki walks into a pharmacy and says 'can i have some viagra'. Cashier says 'I need some medical proof that you need it'. Bloke says 'will a photo of my wife do'?
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Just downloaded the new FIFA 11 commentary update.Not much different, although when my girlfriend went on it, Andy Gray shouted at her to "put that fecking controller down and get back to the kitchen." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Hubby gets 'I LOVE YOU' tattooed on his c*ck and goes home 2 show his wife. She says 'there u go again u bast*rd... trying to put words in my mouth!'
punjabiplaya Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 The night of March 31st and as little Amjad gets tucked up in bed his stepmum says "If you pray really hard tonight, tomorrow when you wake up you will be white just like me!". So little Amjad prays like never before. Morning comes and Amjad is still a paki "Mummy" he cries out "I prayed so hard last night but i'm still a horrible stinking paki! His stepmum gently pats him on the head "I know son," she said "April Fool ya black bast*rd :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Opinions are like dicks, it's always wrong if a woman has one :hysterical::hysterical:
Gunner_Mania Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Just downloaded the new FIFA 11 commentary update.Not much different, although when my girlfriend went on it, Andy Gray shouted at her to "put that fecking controller down and get back to the kitchen." :haha: :haha: That was quick. You do get on the case immediately dont you :-)
jindaldhruv Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Just downloaded the new FIFA 11 commentary update.Not much different, although when my girlfriend went on it, Andy Gray shouted at her to "put that fecking controller down and get back to the kitchen." :haha: :hysterical: Good one!
Sid Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 The night of March 31st and as little Amjad gets tucked up in bed his stepmum says "If you pray really hard tonight, tomorrow when you wake up you will be white just like me!". So little Amjad prays like never before. Morning comes and Amjad is still a paki "Mummy" he cries out "I prayed so hard last night but i'm still a horrible stinking paki! His stepmum gently pats him on the head "I know son," she said "April Fool ya black bast*rd :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::cantstop:
Sachin=GOD Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 I think the sexist remarks by Richard Keys & Andy Gray were a disgrace, they should b sacked & replaced by female presenters. . . Preferably ones with big tits
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