punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Little boy gets home from school and says: "Dad, I've got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married for 25 years." His dad replies: "Never mind son, maybe next time you'll get a feckìn speaking part."
punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Paddy & Murphy swap sandwiches at work,Paddy spits it out & says "What the fecks on that?" Murphy answers "crab paste." Paddy says "where did you get that?" Murphy replies "I saw it when I was in the chemist."
punjabiplaya Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Lineswoman Sian Massey's new nickname is "Just For Men". She was only used once and now the Gray is gone.
punjabiplaya Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Why do deaf girls masturbate with one hand? So they can moan with the other...!
Dills Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Why do deaf girls masturbate with one hand? So they can moan with the other...! :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: Hilarious...........
Dills Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I've just put a deposit down on a new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said 'I can't wait for the new 911' & now 4' date='00,0000 pakis have added me as a friend![/quote'] :haha: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Shane Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I think the sexist remarks by Richard Keys & Andy Gray were a disgrace, they should b sacked & replaced by female presenters. . . Preferably ones with big tits :cantstop: Wait a min, even Richard Keys was sacked?
Gunner_Mania Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 :cantstop: Wait a min, even Richard Keys was sacked? He Resigned.
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Teacher at school asks "Does anyone know where Paki-stan is?" Little Johnny says "I think he goes home for dinner!"...
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Amir Khan walks into a irish pub and shouts,"I'm worth £9m and only feck white women."Paddy goes up to him and whispers something in his ear, Khan swiftly knocks him out. The barman picks up Paddy and says "what the feck did you say to him Paddy?"..Paddy says "I told him that if I had 9 million quid, I wouldn't feck pakis either"
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 I just saw a group of youths holding a lad's face in a puddle and calling him Paki bast*rd. I thought to myself, "That's a bit shallow!"
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 My daughter asked me today what's the difference between a crow & a blackbird. I told her crows have somewhat heavier beaks and fan shaped tails. A blackbird has big rubbery lips, fuzzy hair & a fecking massive ass.
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Man goes in to barbers, asks how long to wait before he gets haircut, barber say's about two hours, he leaves, a few days later he's back asks same question, barber say's about three hours, again he leaves, a week later he's back asking again barber says about 1 & half hours once again he's off, the barber's getting a bit bemused by the guy so asks his mate Bob to follow him to see where he goes, Bob returns in a wee while pissin himself laughing, Barber asks well where the feck does he go ? Bob wipes the tears from his eyes and say's "Your house"
Manny_Pacquiao Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I just saw a group of youths holding a lad's face in a puddle and calling him Paki bast*rd. I thought to myself' date=' "That's a bit shallow!"[/quote'] B->B->B->B->B->
punjabiplaya Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Rolf Harris has just released a record in Aid of the Australian Flood Victims. All together now, " WHY'S ME KANGAROO DROWNED SPORT".
punjabiplaya Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Me: Can I have a shag? Girl: No! Me: Wait! I don't think you heard me correctly... Girl: Oh, I think I did... Me: Fine then, what did I say? Girl: "Can I have a shag?" And that, Your Honour, is why it wasn't r*pe.
punjabiplaya Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.He decides to test it at dinner.DAD: Son, whereWere u today during school hours?SON:At school*Robot slaps Son*SON:OK,I went to the moviesDAD:Which one?SON:ToyStory*he slaps son again*SON: OK, it was day with a pornstarDAD:WHAT? When I was ur age I didn't even know what porn was!*he slaps dad*MOM:HAHA!After all he's ur son*he slaps mom
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Got stopped in the street outside 'Boots' today by a woman with a clipboard asking "what grooming products I use? "You should have seen her face when I said " Facebook, Haribo sweets and puppies"
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 What has a woman and a food processer got in common..?they are both good with food and you dont want to put your fingers in them when they're on
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