punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 What's a paki and a wa*k got in common?. Nothing much really. But it doesn't hurt anyone to knock one out occasionally.....
punjabiplaya Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 There was a Black man, a White man, a Native American man and a Latino man. All four of them were on top of a cliff discussing the difficulties that their people had gone through.??The Native American said, 'My people have suffered the most, and in honor of what they have endured, I will fling myself off this cliff in hopes that my blood will change things.' So he yelled 'THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE', and jumped off the cliff,??the Latino not wanting to be outdone, quickly looked at the other two and followed yelling 'THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE' and jumped off the cliff as well.?The Black man was touched by this and decided it was his turn, so he yelled 'BOMBOCLAAAT! THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE' and pushed the White man off the cliff!
punjabiplaya Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 I've just been to see Colin Firth in 'The King's Speech'. I can't believe he's up for an Oscar. The fecker could barely remember his lines.
punjabiplaya Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Just seen a 14 year old girl in a pub getting pis*ed wearing a liverpool shirt, I think its fecking disgraceful, I mean who's watching her kids?
punjabiplaya Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 A bloke and his wife are strolling round the zoo, when they approach the Gorilla cage. "Show him your ti*s", says the man to his wife, which she duly did. The Gorilla starts going mental. "Lift up your skirt and tease him", says the husband, again, the wife does as she's told.By now the Gorilla is going beserk, clearly gagging for it. All of a sudden the bloke picks his wife up and throws her into the cage. "Now tell him you've got a fecking headache".
punjabiplaya Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Firemen have just rescued an irish man with his penis stuck in a condom machine. They asked him what happened. He said the sign says insert £2 and push knob.in :hysterical:
Jadoo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Just seen a 14 year old girl in a pub getting pis*ed wearing a liverpool shirt' date=' I think its fecking disgraceful, I mean who's watching her kids?[/quote'] Firemen have just rescued an irish man with his penis stuck in a condom machine. They asked him what happened. He said the sign says insert £2 and push knob.in :hysterical: :cantstop::cantstop::cantstop: Great Stuff P, lol, your jokes brighten up my day at work dude!!!
asterix Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 A bloke and his wife are strolling round the zoo' date=' when they approach the Gorilla cage. "Show him your ti*s", says the man to his wife, which she duly did. The Gorilla starts going mental. "Lift up your skirt and tease him", says the husband, again, the wife does as she's told.By now the Gorilla is going beserk, clearly gagging for it. All of a sudden the bloke picks his wife up and throws her into the cage. "Now tell him you've got a fecking headache".[/quote'] :hysterical: How true..
punjabiplaya Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Jim and Edna are mental patients,One day Jim jumps in the pool and stays on the bottom,Edna dives in and saves him,The director calls Edna into his office and says Edna I've got some good news and some bad news, the good news is we're releasing you, as your obviously sane saving another persons life. But unfortunately Jim hanged himself in the bathroom.No said Edna, thats where I put him to dry.
punjabiplaya Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Today, my mate asked me if I knew the biological word for a swollen vagina. I thought,Thick cu*t
punjabiplaya Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I was in a night club last night when a Pakistani woman walked up to me. She said, 'I could do with a big dick.' I said, 'I bet you could, you've already got a fecking moustache.
punjabiplaya Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 British Rail are full of sh*t. A sign said, "If you stand too close to the edge of the platform, you could get sucked off" Five fecking hours I stood there!
Jadoo Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I was in a night club last night when a Pakistani woman walked up to me. She said, 'I could do with a big dick.' I said, 'I bet you could, you've already got a fecking moustache. British Rail are full of sh*t. A sign said, "If you stand too close to the edge of the platform, you could get sucked off" Five fecking hours I stood there! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Saw a paki with three lions on his shirt today . . . Dont you just love Windsor Safari Park!
punjabiplaya Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's kidney ; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work." The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work." A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another persons chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work." The Pakistani doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in Pakistan (about two years ago) we grabbed a person with no brains, no heart,....we made him President of the country, and now.......the whole country is looking for work!!!!"
b555 Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 why is your boss like a diaper? he is always on your ass and most of the time he is full of ****
punjabiplaya Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Everyday a man walks up very close to a lady co-worker standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air & tells her: "Your hair smells nice". After a week of this she went to see personnel & put a sexual harassment complaint in against him. The personnel manager said "What's wrong with him saying your hair smells nice?" She said "Its Keith the dwarf..!!" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 David Cameron was looking for a lady of the night. He found one such girl in a local pub. He said 'I'm Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'. Her reply, 'Mr Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my knickers as low as my wages, your co*k as hard as the times we're living in & keep it rising like the price of petrol, & screw me the way you have the pensioners, then it won't cost you a fecking penny!"
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