gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 A store that sells husbands has just opened in Mumbai City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love god. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the god, and love the kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, and are good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh! Mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor #4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!!! (
gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Another good joke Indian style.. Banta Singh goes to the red light district one night in Bangkok and finds himself a lady for the night. He asks her, �How much do you charge for the hour?� She replies, "$100" So he says, "Okay do you do Indian style?" She says "No!!" "I'll pay you $200 to do Indian style?" She again says no, not knowing what Indian style is! So he offers her $300. Again she declines. So finally he says "I'll give you $500 to go Indian style with me" Anyway she finally agrees thinking well she has been in the industry for over 10 years now, she has been there and done that, how bad could Indian style be� So she goes ahead with Banta Singh, doing it in every kind of possible way and in every position. Finally at the end after he has finished, she turns around and says to him, "What was the Indian style? I mean, did I miss something here? What was so Indian style about what we did?" He replies to her - "I'll pay you tomorrow!" :((
gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Another gem The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But I had a problem I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through 3 posters." Continued the salesman, "First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting; second, the man is drinking our Cola and third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place." "That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..." :((
gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 This ones just :giggle: What is Confidence? A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and were told that the flight they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilotless technology: It is an unscrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is Aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO remains on board the jet seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first unscrewed flight, he replies, "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off." This is Confidence!!! :((
gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 This is the best of the lot : Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son. Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I want to choose my own bride". Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter." Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes" Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter." Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry." Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes" Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank. Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need." Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law." President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes." This is how business is done!!! :hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Another gem Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs.10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys in the forest went out to catch them. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him for 50." The villagers queued up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Phir na woh aadmi mila na uska assistant! Sirf bandar hee bandar rah gaye!! :hysterical:
Sooda Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Another gem The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But I had a problem I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through 3 posters." Continued the salesman, "First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting; second, the man is drinking our Cola and third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place." "That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..." :(( That happened in real life!! Moisturising cream ad in the 70's did crappily because it apparently showed skin getting wrinkly after use...
Zelig Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 A store that sells husbands has just opened in Mumbai City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love god. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the god, and love the kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, and are good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh! Mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the god, love the kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor #4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!!! :(( A gay wud have stopped at first floor.. ..i know, it's a bad joke:(( ps good jokes, g92
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