Bell toils for those turning to jelly

[coffee_rules]

--------------------------------------------- Bell toils for those turning to jelly Vic Marks Sunday August 5, 2007 The Observer Let us hope that the trio involved in the jelly-bean saga - Zaheer Khan, Kevin Pietersen and Ian Bell - have calmed down by the time we reach the Oval. Old Humph at the end of Casablanca probably got it right: 'It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.' It was a crazy world that had jelly beans dominating most of the back pages at the conclusion of the Trent Bridge Test - except for this reason: the puerile jelly-bean prank could well personify the distorted priorities of the England cricket team. There is so much talk now about the art of 'mental disintegration', a euphemism that Steve Waugh made commonplace in cricketing circles. This prompted me to do something unusual, which was to scour Ian Bell's column in the Guardian to try to understand how the modern Test cricketer functions. 'Chatter,' he says, 'is just a way of keeping the energy going in the team. It's important to help the bowlers, especially if Monty is on and there are men around the bat. We are always working at ways to turn ourselves into the number-one side in the world and we're looking at tiny percentages where we can be better.' Here is a modest suggestion for the England players - try to spend a little more time working on how to play the swinging ball and rather less dreaming up gormless pranks or the odd-one liner that might conceivably irritate an opponent. Then the percentages might not be so tiny. Moreover, if Test cricket has become so dull and draining - 'We had been in the field so long that we were just trying to keep our spirits up' was Bell's explanation for that hilarious placement of the jelly beans on the pitch - then perhaps he might like to try an alternative, more interesting pursuit elsewhere. It is true that the modern international cricketer plays so much Test cricket that he is more likely to become bored or blasé about what was once the pinnacle of any cricketer's career. There is no longer any time for those relaxing, humdrum outings in county cricket. As a result the importance of a Test match might diminish in Bell's eyes. In all these matters the lead comes from the captain and coach. Neither was on the field when the events that led to the jelly-bean furore took place (Michael Vaughan had slipped off for an over or two). But both have shown their yearning for 'combative' cricketers especially behind the stumps. Vaughan pressed for the selection of Paul Nixon last winter, Peter Moores wanted Matthew Prior this summer, both of whom prattle on incessantly. Indeed, I begin to wonder whether Alan Knott or Bob Taylor would have made the England side under this regime - they were far too restrained in their behaviour. Likewise, it now seems incredible that two such relatively polite wicketkeepers, Geraint Jones and Chris Read, could ever have been part of a successful England side. Deep down the England hierarchy must recognise that they made fools of themselves at Trent Bridge, and captain and coach have issued apologies of sorts. Their chance to atone is at the Oval, where they can level the series. Since 1999 England have lost one series in this country - against Australia in 2001 - so a proud record is in jeopardy. There will be very few, if any, changes to the side at the Oval. My inclination would be to replace Bell with Ravi Bopara. Initially, this conclusion was reached on purely cricketing grounds. Bell has not been contributing much in the latter half of this summer. In his last six Test innings his highest score is 31; he has dropped the odd half-chance; he no longer bowls or is no longer invited to bowl. I was going to stress that this had nothing to do with jelly beans. Bell, it is alleged - and we must be careful here because The Observer can scarce afford a damaging court case on this issue - was the man who stationed the offending pair of beans on a good length when Zaheer came to the crease. You cannot drop a man for that. But if he is so bored with Test cricket that he has to resort to such silly japes to keep his spirits up.... It would go against the grain for England's selectors to replace Bell, since they put so much emphasis on loyalty and stability. Yet an in-form Bopara would improve the team, and Bell's omission would by no means signal the end of his international career. The chances are that he would remain involved in all of the forthcoming one-day cricket and the winter tours. Otherwise England must stick to the team defeated at Trent Bridge, since it seems Matthew Hoggard will not be match fit by Thursday. However, they cannot stick with this balance of team in the longer-term. The purists may say, 'Pick your six best batsmen, a batting wicketkeeper and your four best bowlers', but that simple formula does not always work. In the future England cannot have a batsman of Chris Tremlett's calibre at number eight. His mere presence on the scorecard puts the England middle-order under undue pressure - 'If I'm out, our innings will be over within half an hour' - and gives undue encouragement to the fielding side - 'If we get a sixth wicket their innings will be over in half an hour'. A fit Andrew Flintoff in the side, capable of bowling his quota of overs, is the best solution; a more mature Stuart Broad could be the long-term answer. At the Oval, however, England have to find 20 wickets to square the series, so they are bound to stick with the current, fragile balance of their side. This includes Tremlett, one of the few, alongside Ryan Sidebottom and Vaughan, who can look back on the Trent Bridge Test with any personal satisfaction. The entire India team can look back on the second Test with satisfaction, with the exception of Shanthakumaran Sreesanth. He has pleaded innocence and expressed contrition about the beamer at Pietersen, although suspicions were immediately renewed at Trent Bridge when he ran through the crease at Paul Collingwood soon afterwards. How can we judge intent with any certainty? That is best left to those closer to Sreesanth in the India camp. Bowling beamers, as opposed to tossing jelly beans, is a serious matter. If Rahul Dravid and his cohorts believe that the beamer was intentional then Sreesanth should be removed from their team immediately. There should be a 10-run penalty for any beamer, whether intentional or accidental. The Oval provides a spicy finale to a bland summer of Test cricket. Then our attention turns to the one-day game. Tomorrow David Graveney announces the squads for the seven one-day internationals against India and the Twenty20 World Cup in South Africa. For these Bopara is a certainty and England will be desperate to welcome back Flintoff, provided his rehabilitation with Lancashire is unhindered. Meanwhile, Vaughan now looks in remarkably good nick.... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Pommie press is as brutal as our own. Now it is Bell's turn to get all the brickbats.

[Chandan]

The Oval provides a spicy finale to a bland summer of Test cricket.

Has this been a bland series?? The two matches played between these two teams has been very competitive! Wonder how can one call it bland!! Or does this word have a different meaning here??