How McCullum helped me let go : Crowe

[bulbul]

I have shared the belief that I became riddled with cancer due to my toxic suppression of negative events throughout my life. What isn't known is that one of those demons was my decision to not field against Pakistan in the semi-final of the 1992 World Cup, and to instead put my torn hamstring on ice, elevated and compressed, in an attempt to be fit for the final at the MCG, four days later. I thought we had enough on the board (262 on a slow, low pitch) and the medical advice was that to be fit to play in four days I needed to elevate and ice immediately, and therefore not field. I have regretted that decision for nearly 22 years.

In very dark times I blamed others, like John Wright, and I felt guilty at having done so. In truth, I simply blamed myself. It was the one real chance for glory for my country, to lift the World Cup, and I was beside myself that I had misjudged the moment, under the West Stand at Eden Park that day. Yet one demon remained

I never forgave myself for getting out for 299 against Sri Lanka. Not a week would go by when I wouldn't be reminded of the one run I craved so much. It tore at me like a vulture pecking dead flesh. I did not know how to let it go, could never laugh at the absurdity of my anger. Ultimately it contributed to a dislike of myself, and to a notion that I was not worthy enough. I was desperate to be liked and I thought scoring big hundreds would suffice. I even thought one more run would be enough. I was staggeringly naïve to think so. I missed the entire point of life, how it should be appreciated.

And now today, with Brendon scoring our nation's first ever triple-hundred, I have finally removed the one remaining stone in my shoe. It's pathetic to even have to do so, yet massively necessary. Yes, it has been quite an uplifting few days of personal selfish rehabilitation.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/720283.html Fantastic insights..we always hear or read how players say personal milestones doesnt matter infront of team golas,but deep inside people have their own pain, which lasts longer than what we can think.

[Detonator]

TFS! :hatsoff: