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Magneto

Pune Warriors India - The Official Thread

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:ridinghorse: Ladies and Bhailog, velcum to the official PUNE WARRIORS INDIA thread. :dance: :dance: This thread will provide you with all the news, stats, analysis and gossip about your favourite team that you never cared to know about. Our team consists of the coolest, kickassest and baddest group of players on the planet whose names you might have never heard of. Make no mistake, our favourite team is the richest franchise in the entire world of professional cricket; but we have been smart and noble enough to pick and choose exactly those players who are either unfit; OR completely unsuitable for the format OR hardly use up much newsprint because of their daring exploits. It's all a deliberate ploy; to pretend to be loser underdogs, but to spring a surprise when no one really expects it. :dance: This is the list of our superstar players: Batsmen Sourav Ganguly (Captain) Mohnish Mishra Graeme Smith Callum Ferguson Mithun Manhas Manish Pandey Michael Clarke Tamim Iqbal Marlon Samuels Dheeraj Jadhav Harshad Khadiwale Anustup Majumdar India Harpreet Singh Haven't heard of most of these guys? :dontknow: Neither have I. :giggle: Now, the Bowlers Rahul Sharma Alfonso Thomas Murali Kartik Ashish Nehra Kamran Khan Wayne Parnell Shrikant Wagh Ashok Dinda Ali Murtaza Sachin Rana Bhuvneshwar Kumar Krishnakant Upadhyay The best thing about this attack is that no one really knows or remembers when these bowlers bowled last. Don't run to youtube or cricinfo, you'll hardly find anything about them. And don't even dare to calculate or point out their bowling averages :nono: All-Rounders Jesse Ryder Angelo Mathews Luke Wright Steve Smith Raiphi Gomez Two out of five of these all-rounders will never be selected for any match in the entire season. Out of the other 3, one will be barred from bowling as he has a hand injury, the other one will given an over in which he'll concede 25 runs (after which he'll never be given the ball) and the third one will mostly be found smashing glasses in some cheap roadside pub, after which he and his resident psychologist will promptly be packed off to the country from which they came. Wicketkeepers Robin Uthappa Mahesh Rawat Eklavya Dwivedi Either they are not wicket keepers, or they'll not get a game. :cantstop: Sum total - no wicketkeepers, like the rest of the departments. Perfectly balanced team! Retired Hurt already Mitchell Marsh - Like Papa Marsh and Bhaiya Marsh, Baby Marsh is also having a tough time in life. Presently he's sitting home injured. Last heard, he was heartbroken about missing the IPL as Pune Warriors pretended to pull out. :giggle: James Hopes - True to his name, he's dashed all his hopes of playing in the IPL. Like he dashed Australia's hopes in the 2008 CB Series. He being hurt has fortunately not dashed the hopes of any Pune Warriors Fan. Last but not least, take a look at our pretty pretty cheerleaders. Good enough reason for no one to step into the Subroto Roy Stadium, which is anyway located far far away from civilization (beside one long, boring, dumbass road). dd3.jpg We'll discuss the schedule and thread creations in the next edition. :dance: :dance: The official fan thread of Pune Warriors India is actively seeking: a) Thread creators - Are you the one with that golden touch whose amazing luck with the keyboard transforms an ordinary team into world-beaters? Are you the kind of person whose mere support thread can convert a club-class trundler into a world-class speedster? Are you that reluctant fan who's pestered by millions just to open a match thread so that the fortunes of their teams can change forever? If you are indeed the man/woman with the golden arm and fingers, you're the one we are desperately looking for. We'll gladly give away our right arm to get your arm. So, DO NOT HESITATE - mail us your resume (with your lucky streak highlighted) ASAP to this thread, and we'll be pleased to appoint you as the thread-creator of some of our most crucial matches. And since we are the richest franchise in the whole wide world; we'll not use your services for free like the other cheapo franchises, we'll compensate you with as much ICF dollars as you wish. :icflove: :dance: :dance: b) Cheerleaders - Age/Sex/Height/Breadth/Length/Dancing Ability/Moustache/Spectacles/Inhibitions/Virginity no bar. :cheerleader: Are you the kind of fan who would love to keep cheering for your favourite team during the most distressing and turbulent times? Are you the kind of optimist who wishes that the opponent will surely lose nine wickets before scoring that one final run they need for victory, and can go bet your house for that? Are you the kind who's supported teams like Kenya/Nigeria/Timbuktu all your life and have also hoped that they'll beat all the badass teams and win the World Cup? If you are, we need you now - on this THREAD and we'll need you to :dance: and :cheerleader: all through the season no matter how many matches our team loses. We'll give you all our love :icflove: :icflove: :icflove: in exchange, and a whole bank of ICF $ too. So please hop over as soon as possible for the love, dollars and rock-n-roll. c) Rudaalis - :sniffle: - Of all the people we need, we need you the most - for the sake of honesty and consistency. The only criteria for your being on board would be your ability to cry :(( and cry :sniffle: and cry some more. King-kong-like chest-beating while crying would be regarded as an additional skill. With the kind of team we have, we are guessing we'll need you for each and every match barring some exceptional circumstances. As compensation, we'll pay you more ICF $ than the crocodile tears you've shed. Check out this clip for more inspiration: Zd1J5sbi91k The schedule: Date Day Team Venue Time 6-Apr-2012 Friday Vs Mumbai Indians Mumbai 4 :00 PM 8-Apr-2012 Sunday Vs Kings XI Punjab Pune 8 :00 PM 12-Apr-2012 Thursday Vs Kings XI Punjab Mohali 8 :00 PM 14-Apr-2012 Saturday Vs Chennai Super Kings Pune 8 :00 PM 17-Apr-2012 Tuesday Vs Royal Challengers Bangalore Bangalore 8 :00 PM 19-Apr-2012 Thursday Vs Chennai Super Kings Chennai 8 :00 PM 21-Apr-2012 Saturday Vs Delhi Daredevils Delhi 8 :00 PM 24-Apr-2012 Tuesday Vs Delhi Daredevils Pune 4 :00 PM 26-Apr-2012 Thursday Vs Deccan Chargers Pune 8 :00 PM 1-May-2012 Tuesday Vs Deccan Chargers Cuttack 4 :00 PM 3-May-2012 Thursday Vs Mumbai Indians Pune 8 :00 PM 5-May-2012 Saturday Vs Kolkata Knight Riders Kolkata 4 :00 PM 8-May-2012 Tuesday Vs Rajasthan Royals Pune 4 :00 PM 11-May-2012 Friday Vs Royal Challengers Bangalore Pune 8 :00 PM 13-May-2012 Sunday Vs Rajasthan Royals Jaipur 4 :00 PM 19-May-2012 Saturday Vs Kolkata Knight Riders Pune 8 :00 PM The matches that have been highlighted are our home matches :proud: Any fans interested in creating the match threads, please make yourselves heard in the official thread. Please do not PM me, because my quota of PMs is almost full. :dance: :dance:

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Rahul Sharma to look out for. I believe he can be a terrific limited overs bowler. Ashoke Dinda is another bowler we all know. Some like it and some not but he is No.1 contender for the Indian team. Bhuvneshwar kumar is bloody another KUMAR trundler :wall:

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Lol at PW's team. Phetatic to be honest. I see them at the bottom of the table ONCE AGAIN!
Dued, Pathetic spellings are 'PATHETIC' not 'Phetatic'.... Thats like saying- I fecked your asss, but in reality he just came on her back. Thats not called an*al feck. Similarly, phetatic cannot be called 'pathetic'.

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I support pune but the signings don't make sense.When you've got gangu,ferguson etc why would you sign another slowcoach in clarke,the guy's t20 strike rate is just abt 100 for god's sake. Only one capable of hitting is uthappa.

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I support pune but the signings don't make sense.When you've got gangu,ferguson etc why would you sign another slowcoach in clarke,the guy's t20 strike rate is just abt 100 for god's sake. Only one capable of hitting is uthappa.
u r forgetting tamim :headshake:

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News Updates, 1st April: 1. Graeme Smith reportedly out of IPL 5 for an ankle injury 2. ICC President Sharad Pawar to inaugurate the new home of PWI Subroto Roy Sahara Stadium today in the presence of Maharastra CM ad Sahara Chief

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Great thread OP. Job well done. :two_thumbs_up: However, it will take much more than this to make PW win. One of your players is called Manhoos. Apt name, if one wants an extended career with the PW.
It is Manhas..Closer to the name 'Manha'..which means Gift of Allah. So he is going to bring good luck to PW.

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News Updates, 1st April: 1. Graeme Smith reportedly out of IPL 5 for an ankle injury 2. ICC President Sharad Pawar to inaugurate the new home of PWI Subroto Roy Sahara Stadium today in the presence of Maharastra CM ad Sahara Chief
yes now tamim is definately playing muhaha :D B->:yay:

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Irrespective of who is available' date=' Tamin should play. Without the pressure of playing for Bangladesh , I think he would be great to watch.[/quote'] yes, at least on indian pitches he is an interesting prospect for T20s

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Tamim Iqbal:headshake: A couple of half decent innings against trundlers on pattas and he is supposed to be the next Gilchrist? His strike rate is in all forms of the game is pathetic. Ryder and Uthappa should open for pune.

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Blow for Pune Warriors, Graeme Smith out of IPL :(( NEW DELHI: South Africa's Test captain Graeme Smith has been ruled out of the Indian Premier League because of injury, according to sources. Smith, who was due to turn out for the Pune Warriors, is nursing an ankle injury and is likely to be operated on. "He is likely to be operated on in SA. He has also got some personal commitments," sources said. Smith played the first three seasons of the IPL for Rajasthan Royals. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/cricket/ipl-2012/news/Blow-for-Pune-Warriors-Graeme-Smith-out-of-IPL/articleshow/12488014.cms Now vaat to do :whine:

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This is the best thread ever... good job Saurav.. tum aagey badho. hum tumhare saath hai.. :cheerleader:
Now it is that I have posted Anyways I will make sure I spare some change for you peasants, looking at your lineup you really do need it :giggle:

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Great thread OP. Job well done. :two_thumbs_up: However, it will take much more than this to make PW win. One of your players is called Manhoos. Apt name, if one wants an extended career with the PW.
:icflove: We'll not select Manhoos anyway, revenge for KKR playing Rajat Bhatia pointlessly. :giggle:

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You know the standard of the side' date='when they get excited upon the arrival of a Bangladeshi player.[/quote'] Says the man whose team captain was kicked out/DROPPED of/from the tournament in Bangladesh ... :giggle: Tamim scored fifties in all the matches in the tournament :giggle:

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Says the man whose team captain was kicked out/DROPPED of/from the tournament in Bangladesh ... :giggle: Tamim scored fifties in all the matches in the tournament :giggle:
Ordinary fans of ordinary team.

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