UN rates best and worst countries to live

[Gambit]

That is a hyperbole and no doubt, from the nature of your post, you are basing this from USA/UK dealings. In most other western countries, for eg. Canada, you are less likely to be discriminated against than in your own country(India) as long as you didn't arrive here illegally.

Not just basing it on USA/UK. I've spent some time in France, Switzerland(the daddy when it comes to living standards) and Spain too.

And sense of belonging doesn't come(atleast, for me) from some arbitary notion of country but from sense of belonging in the community.Most immigrants don't integrate very well because they are either too afraid to put themselves out there or are too old and 'set in their ways' to change. But so long as you form a solid link to the community, that place becomes your home.The grocer you are friendly with, the coffee shop owner who lets you loaf around the place, having friends you hang out with/meet regularly/do stuff with from a diverse background ( socially & economically, if not ethnically and philosophically), etc. are the fundamentals to developing a sense of belonging. You get the sense of belonging when you realize that the people around you will stick up for you.

Like you said, that's you. For me(maybe some others on here), I get a sense of belonging in your own country. It's the place I love and call home. It's the place I grew up in and adored. And assuming that this feeling and not being well integrated into the foreigh society you live in briefly are mutually exclusive, is fairly silly logic.

I've been in Vancouver for close to six years and i can say with a certain confidence that this is my home, not Kolkata anymore. All the stuff i mentioned above, i've cultivated here over time and when i visit Kolkata every other year, it feels like comming back to the past, not to the present.

Well, good for you. It's different for you because you've never lived in India for more than 7-8 years at a stretch anyway. By your own admission, you've lived all over the planet(Canada, Middle East, Antarctica, South America etc) and hence, you will not have the same feeling I do towards India.

Ultimately, sense of belonging comes only if you want to belong somewhere,the society isn't too restrictive and you know how to go around cultivating the interpersonal relations that makes you a part of the community instead of a perpetual tourist.

Not true at all. It's like being at boarding school or going on a year long project to say, Canada.You fit in, you make lots of friends, you love it but ultimately, it's not home. However, if you plan to settle in a country for good, then of course, you should call THAT home.

I've come across some desis here who understand this, but most do not. Most of the time, when i come across desis, they become instantly super-friendly, expect reciprocation from me simply coz i am a desi too. Which always is a put off for me, for ultimately, closeness of relations is due to interpersonal relations, not holding the same passport/place of origin. A random desi or a black african guy on the streets gets the same level of interest/interaction from me simply coz they are both equal in my eyes- two people that i do not know. And you will find that most people who don't have a problem integrating into the society have such views instead of holding on to the arbitary and often hollow concept of 'comming from the same nation/place'.

That is human nature. Identifying with someone else who you have most in common with. Nothing wrong with that. And again, like I said, having a soft corner or affinity for your homeland AND integrating well with the society you live in are not mutually exclusive. Maybe you think in binary i.e. either this or that but not me.

[fineleg]

Wrong thread finey

edited...dunno hw that happend

[CC1981]

Gambit, as the saying goes, home is where the heart is. Now, apart from parental-tug at heart, is there really anything that makes India anymore special to you than somewhere else ? I am assuming ofcourse that you arnt from a small village where when you return, there is always half a dozen friends from childhood waiting for you. Yes, you can say that cultural familiarity makes it easier to call it home, but that is again, a product of familiarity. Can you tell me exactly what it is that would make you want to live in India apart from say cultural familiarity and parental angle ?

[fineleg]

Can you tell me exactly what it is that would make you want to live in India apart from say cultural familiarity and parental angle ?

Cultural familiarity (though culture has changed a lot in India nowadays I hear), and parental+relatives angle is an important one CC. (Parental+relatives is higher priority, i feel cultural familiarity is lower priority with culture anyway morphing a lot in Indian cities). Thats the big tradeoff when you live in another country and sometimes makes one feel sad to be far away from near and dear.