fineleg Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 There's peace on the forum again.:D Dhondy living vicariously. :D The forum will forever be haunted err 'fine'. Ok. Back to original topic please.
fineleg Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 They look so happy here: Everyone goes through ups and downs. Inevitable. The photo depicts a good time in their life. Indeed a happy story once upon a time for them. But tough times, and they have made dear serious mistakes.
suraj Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Excerpts from the suicide note The three-page suicide note written by Amit describes the reason for his action and his wishes after death. He addressed the suicide note separately to his parents, his siblings, the police, and to 'whomsoever concerned'. It also includes details of the bequeathal of his property and claims full responsibility for his death. Excerpts from the suicide note : "From the first day after marriage, both of us were not compatible and we had regular fights. Recently I had picked up a fight with her (Rinku) and she had apologised to me. Despite our differences, I did not intend to divorce her as I love her and I had an intuition that if I applied for a divorce, she would accuse my family of dowry harassment. I did not give this a chance.'' "We shared no decent physical or emotional relationship. Until recently we were sharing one bedroom. Few months ago she went to Muscat to her parents and after she returned, she preferred to stay in another bedroom. She was always on her mobile phone, either SMSing or talking to someone, behind closed doors. From her indifferent behaviour, I suspected that she had an affair with someone. On March 20, I placed my laptop with a camera switched on in her bedroom. On March 21, I saw that she was talking to one of her colleagues and she had expressed her love for him. From her gestures I understood that she had an affair with him''. "Rinku told me that if she ever found out that I had an extra-marital affair, she would murder me and then commit suicide. I have only followed her idea''. "I bequeath all my property, including money and other valuables to my mother''. http://www.newindpress.com/NewsItems.asp?ID=IE120080323233858&Page=1&Title=Bangalore&Topic=0
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Coz my standards are considered to be the universally acceptable norm. If my wife has an affair with someone else and I go to court asking for divorce' date=' the judge will readily accede to my request. But, if my wife had an affair and I killed her for that and go to court saying " Well, she was disloyal and so i killed her" , the judge isnt going to be considerate towards me. [b']He may not hand me the death sentence and instead prefer to give me the life-term, coz it wasnt a planned murder, but still, its not without reason why its considered a crime to kill a spouse, just coz the spouse had an extra marital affair. It has little to do with you Sriram. What we are arguing here is NOT the killing but what set the killing. Would you happen to know anything about this guy? Would you happen to know what exactly make him do what he did? Would you happen to do know exactly the role played by his wife? Answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO. So how are you quick in making a judgement? I am not speculating on the circumstances. You are absolutely right on one thing - Niether you, or me, know what was the actual truth behind all this. But nothing, absolutely NOTHING can justify him killing her. And no one is justifying the killing. What I am defending here is the chap being portrayed as some sort of loser. Clearly none of us are in the position to make that kind of statement so what are we on about here? Oh Lurks, are you trying to say everyone who works for well admired companies, is widely respected and intelligent , will have good characters ! Yes Sir thats how it will pan out. Again I give you the court scenario. This case goes to the court and the Defence Counsel gives you the following points: 1) The lad was a 30 year old Educated man. 2) The lad had a stable job. 3) The lad was working for India's most Admired company. 4) The lad was widely complimented by his colleague in one of India's best companies. 5) The lad had a well furnished house at the age of 30 in one of India's prime cities. I bet you it will score very heavily in front of the eyes of the Judge/Jury. That doesnt mean it will win the case for him but will surely make people ponder - Okay the man was in the very least a educated, smart, intelligent man with a stable job. So what happened all of a sudden? Which is my question too. Bill Clinton was the President of the USA and even he had the temerity to have an affair with his aide, enough said. And your point is? Bill Clinton had an affair, in this case it is NOT the man who had an affair. It is his wife. Indeed if the defense starts producing evidence of 'illicit' affair, if any, the girl will start losing her sympathy very fast. xxx
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 What I am defending here is the chap being portrayed as some sort of loser Anyone who takes his life, not to mention that of his wife instead of staying in the world and fighting out his problems for as commonplace a thing as an extra marital affair is a loser in my books.
fineleg Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Anyone who takes his life' date=' not to mention that of his wife instead of staying in the world and fighting out his problems for [b']as commonplace a thing as an extra marital affair is a loser in my books. Not getting into the loser or not debate... But- "as commonplace a thing"!?? maybe it was meant in a different context, but read in isolation that is unnerving! It happens yes, but hopefully not too commonplace.
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Anyone who takes his life' date=' not to mention that of his wife instead of staying in the world and fighting out his problems for as commonplace a thing as an extra marital affair is a loser in my books.[/quote'] Not for me. To me the world doesnt exist simply in black and white. The more details that emerge out of the story the increasingly it is becoming apparent that the girl hardly comes out smelling of roses. I personally feel bad for casting stones at a dead girl but the facts thus far, if you consider suicide note as fact, gives you an inkling of the girl making the guy miserable rather than the other way around. xxx
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Not getting into the loser or not debate... But- "as commonplace a thing"!?? maybe it was meant in a different context, but read in isolation that is unnerving! It happens yes, but hopefully not too commonplace. Commonplace meaning not that it happens in every second household, but is certainly not a rare occurance.
fineleg Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 On a different note, let me tell you why it was unnerving when I read this "common place" that shwetabh said. Recently, a very distant relative - a girl... ( i have seen them as kids but lost contact for many years, but my parents keep in touch with them once every 2 years or so)...had this situation. Extra marrital affair - guy involved in the affair, and later he himself becos of guilt ended himself. Girl (relative) was unharmed, but very very shaken. Poor gal. When my parents related this incident, I could not believe what I was hearing since such things were unheard of in our family, near family or distant or very distant family. The guy was living in India, working for a leading software company and doing quite well otherwise. Well recognized at work etc etc, Supposed to be "good family" etc.
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Not for me. To me the world doesnt exist simply in black and white. The more details that emerge out of the story the increasingly it is becoming apparent that the girl hardly comes out smelling of roses. I personally feel bad for casting stones at a dead girl but the facts thus far, if you consider suicide note as fact, gives you an inkling of the girl making the guy miserable rather than the other way around. xxx Yeah, even if I agree to everything the guy wrote, mind you he did not allow the girl to have a say, and the girl was making his life miserable. What does Mr. Crybaby do, "Ohhhh, my life is so miserable because of the b.itch, let me kill her and since my life is miserable anyways kill myslef as well". How brave and what a brilliant solution!! At least the girl was making the guy's life miserable, the guy did not even leave her with one.
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Yeah, even if I agree to everything the guy wrote, mind you he did not allow the girl to have a say, and the girl was making his life miserable. What does Mr. Crybaby do, "Ohhhh, my life is so miserable because of the b.itch, let me kill her and since my life is miserable anyways kill myslef as well". How brave and what a brilliant solution!! So I suppose instead of giving both girl and the guy the benefit of the doubt you would much rather be cynical and be dismissive about the guys's point of view!! At least the girl was making the guy's life miserable, the guy did not even leave her with one. I dont quite see how a young married couple in late 20s live in seperate bedrooms and claim to have had a life of sorts. Clearly the issue lies with the girl so why didnt she just divorce the chap and escape with her paramour?? Why make life miserable for your hubby while entertaining an extra-marital thingy. Why does the onus of divorce lie on the guy when there is a good chance that it is the wife who is cheating here?? xxx
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 BTW, from an India Today poll, Infidelity is rising, and marriage seems to be its most fertile ground. Clearly, it’s a male thing—31 per cent of men say they had extra marital affairs while only 6 per cent women admit to it. Probably the actual numbers are higher in the case of women due to more conservative reporting by them in such polls, so around 1 in 5 person has extramarital affairs in India. I think the number is around 30% in the US.
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 When my parents related this incident, I could not believe what I was hearing since such things were unheard of in our family, near family or distant or very distant family. Better start beleiving. India has changed hugely and none is this more apparent than when it comes to family. Our generation( 25-35) is caught in one world and our paternal generation (55 plus )is caught in completely other. Divorce rate are growing fast, infidelity is no big deal as such, and all amidst the huge family pride pressures. If you check online world you will get ample evidence of India, both men and women(single and married) and the changing scenario. Doesnt augur well for the future but atleast lets accept it is here well and truly.
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 So I suppose instead of giving both girl and the guy the benefit of the doubt you would much rather be cynical and be dismissive about the guys's point of view!! Simple. The girl did not kill ayone, the guy did and a murderer deserves no benefit of doubt except in self defence which was clearly not the case here. I dont quite see how a young married couple in late 20s live in seperate bedrooms and claim to have had a life of sorts. Clearly the issue lies with the girl so why didnt she just divorce the chap and escape with her paramour?? Why make life miserable for your hubby while entertaining an extra-marital thingy. Why does the onus of divorce lie on the guy when there is a good chance that it is the wife who is cheating here?? Yeah, in an ideal world she should have done that but just because she did not she does not deserve to die for making someone's life "miserable". Anyhow, without listening to the girl's side of the story we'll never know about the faults of the guy either. Maybe he had threatened her against divorcing etc., who knows. What we know is a lunatic murderer killed a girl for allegedly having an affair.
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 The girl did not kill ayone, the guy did and a murderer deserves no benefit of doubt except in self defence which was clearly not the case here. It doesnt work that way in relationship. This is clearly NOT a crime for any ulterior motive(read financial gains, property dispute etc). This is a classic crime of passion and in a typical crime of passion the above circumstance is more than enough to cause a person to kill. Yeah, in an ideal world she should have done that but just because she did not she does not deserve to die for making someone's life "miserable". Not ideal world she should have done it in this world. I have no sympathy for a cheating spouse(man or wife) who tries to get the best of both worlds - stability of a marriage and thrill of extra marital affair. Anyhow, without listening to the girl's side of the story we'll never know about the faults of the guy either. Maybe he had threatened her against divorcing etc., who knows. What we know is a lunatic murderer killed a girl for allegedly having an affair. Fair enough. I am willing to give the girl benefit of the doubt and hope to see a more complete picture. Quite possible she is completely faultless and the chap just went loony but till I get to hear more facts/evidence I am neither going to castigate the guy as a loser nor keep my symapthy running ad-nauseum for the girl. xxx
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 It doesnt work that way in relationship. This is clearly NOT a crime for any ulterior motive(read financial gains, property dispute etc). This is a classic crime of passion and in a typical crime of passion the above circumstance is more than enough to cause a person to kill. If the world starts commiting "typical crimes of passion" then many more people would die. But luckily, most people are not sick loonies like this guy and opt for a non violent solution. Not ideal world she should have done it in this world. I have no sympathy for a cheating spouse(man or wife) who tries to get the best of both worlds - stability of a marriage and thrill of extra marital affair. The point here is not whether you or I have sympathy for a cheating spouse. It's rather more basic and simple - no one deserves to die for cheating. And if you agree to that then you should have no hesitation in unequivocally condemning the guy's sick and deluded actions. On the other hand if you think cheating is reason enough to be killed then I am at a loss of words.
kumble_rocks Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Guy is a coward. It was a cul-de-sac and the nigga knew it. Rather then being tortured by the cops for culpable homicide and eventually face the gas chamber , he copped out ....
Lurker Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 The point here is not whether you or I have sympathy for a cheating spouse. It's rather more basic and simple - no one deserves to die for cheating. And if you agree to that then you should have no hesitation in unequivocally condemning the guy's sick and deluded actions. On the other hand if you think cheating is reason enough to be killed then I am at a loss of words. No one deserves to die, period. But thats not the argument is it? The argument is rather simple - Hold your horses till you know the facts. Thus far you havent done anything to suggest otherwise.
The Outsider Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 The argument is rather simple - Hold your horses till you know the facts. Thus far you havent done anything to suggest otherwise. Horses cannot be held for as serious a crime as murder for a thing like cheating. The perpetrator needs to be condemned unequivocally.
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