hOw iNdIa cAn wIn tHIS SeRiEs 3-1

[NameGoesHere]

I had made a post on this on another thread, but having read it multiple times was struck, as often happens, by my sheer genius.  I now  the urgent need to share it with the world.

 

You’re all fools.  This is a great chance to win 3-1. My advice for the BCCI :

 

1. Start the test immediately. Like tomorrow. 

 

2. Batting or fielding first, make sure that everyone in the Indian team coughs, sneezes hard when next to English players.  Take every opportunity to get next to them and breathe in their faces. 

 

3. if batting, after hitting a shot, run hard towards the player who’s trying to field with the intention of tackling him.  In fact both batsmen should run to the fielder. Watch the fielder running away. Escort every ball to the boundary. Sneeze on the wicket keeper/ silly point/ slips repeatedly.  Cough on the bails.

 

4. It bowling, repeatedly brush against the batter at your end.  Touch the umpire every now and then.  Appeal after every ball right in the Umpire’s face.  Square leg ump too.  Keep all 9 fielders close in (real close) that repeatedly cough and sneezes on the batter.

 

5.  Batting or fielding, lie down every now and then and pretend to go into convulsions. Spit everywhere. 

 

6.  Watch England refuse to take the field within a day and forfeit.

 

7.  Sing Jana Mana Gana

 

8. Profit.

 

Follow me for more sage cricket advice and analysis 

 

PS: Am only half kidding.  They say we should play right? Ok so go play and if you do even a tenth of what I’ve said above, they’ll close the game 

[rangeelaraja]

10 minutes ago, NameGoesHere said:

I had made a post on this on another thread, but having read it multiple times was struck, as often happens, by my sheer genius.  I now  the urgent need to share it with the world.

 

You’re all fools.  This is a great chance to win 3-1. My advice for the BCCI :

 

1. Start the test immediately. Like tomorrow. 

 

2. Batting or fielding first, make sure that everyone in the Indian team coughs, sneezes hard when next to English players.  Take every opportunity to get next to them and breathe in their faces. 

 

3. if batting, after hitting a shot, run hard towards the player who’s trying to field with the intention of tackling him.  In fact both batsmen should run to the fielder. Watch the fielder running away. Escort every ball to the boundary. Sneeze on the wicket keeper/ silly point/ slips repeatedly.  Cough on the bails.

 

4. It bowling, repeatedly brush against the batter at your end.  Touch the umpire every now and then.  Appeal after every ball right in the Umpire’s face.  Square leg ump too.  Keep all 9 fielders close in (real close) that repeatedly cough and sneezes on the batter.

 

5.  Batting or fielding, lie down every now and then and pretend to go into convulsions. Spit everywhere. 

 

6.  Watch England refuse to take the field within a day and forfeit.

 

7.  Sing Jana Mana Gana

 

8. Profit.

 

Follow me for more sage cricket advice and analysis 

 

PS: Am only half kidding.  They say we should play right? Ok so go play and if you do even a tenth of what I’ve said above, they’ll close the game 

 

 

"Genius" bhai - the proof of the pudding is in the negative result of the covid tests. After the negative results, any drama done like your "genius" post has indicated, will be seen as just that. Drama.