Don Sharma Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives. 1st: How yours look like? 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours? 1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!! ********** Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend to death. Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends". ********** Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER" ********** What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and Mattress ********** Three Feelings: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant. ********** Teacher: u know the importance of period? Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away. ********** Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs??? No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints. :cantstop:
Don Sharma Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 A few more Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind? Husband: that you are a lesbian. ------------------------------------------------------- Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ??? Because the people started licking the wrong side! ------------------------------------------------------- Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal & left leg evening meal what would you prefer? Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!! -------------------------------------------------------- How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply! -------------------------------------------------------- Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am !you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall" Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one" Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher"; ------------------------------------------------------- A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours forever." The guy says 'thanks for the warning' ------------------------------------------------------ A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" He replied: "Depends, If I Can find a Phone" ------------------------------------------------------ Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?' "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!' ------------------------------------------------------ When does skin meet skin, Hair meet hair & Balls disappear. think..... u dirty mind.... it happens when u blink ur eyes. ------------------------------------------------------- Bride's dad hands a note to the groom: "GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE". Groom gave another note back to him "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN". ------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: Why cows look depressed when they are milked? Student: Madam, if some1 presses ur boobs for 2hrs & doesnt f**k u, then how do u feel?? ------------------------------------------------------- She took off his pant gently & whispered" make me a woman. he smiled & threw the pant at her and said, GO WASH IT!!!. ------------------------------------------------------- Guy 1: Mumbai is the best city, ALL Free, Pickup, Drop, Food, Drink, Hotel even Sex. Guy 2:When did u go? Guy 1:Not me, my wife went, she told me. ------------------------------------------------------- Guy 1: Why are u going for a birth control surgery for the ninth time? Guy 2: What to do yaar, my wife still keeps getting pregnant. ------------------------------------------------------ Husband and Wife are just like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one pucntures, the vehicle cant move further. So intelligent men always carry a stepney with them!! ------------------------------------------------------- A daughter sends telegram to her father after passing her B.Ed exams, which father received as "FATHER, UR DAUGHTER HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN BED". :cantstop:
Ram Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind? Husband: that you are a lesbian.
Don Sharma Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 lol mostly old ones but nice. Yeah buddy...I posted from a forward that I received three years ago, will post something new later:two_thumbs_up:
Dark Warrior Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Yeah buddy...I posted from a forward that I received three years ago' date=' will post something new later:two_thumbs_up:[/quote'] :two_thumbs_up:
gaurav92 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 on the eve of sachin's bday don sharma or sridev....whtever u like is doing these......... keep it up :hysterical: cool stuff these
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