Pakistan Is A Team of Glorious Uncertainties

[Dhondy]

Yes folks, if you didn''t already know that, it's time to sit back and savour the various pie sized glories popping out of the lean and mean Pakistan cricket machine. Bowled out for 117 from 72 for 2. Bowled out for 90 on a pitch where even BD had scored 188 in their first innings. Against an attack lacking Murali, Vaas & Malinga. Glorious as it gets, really. The raw talent leaves you gasping for breath. Waft outside the off to a veritable pie. No problem, Akmal has it covered. An elegant waft straight to point- it's Yousufbhai's day. Take digs at one of the greatest spinners ever, after scoring 300 on a billiard table of a pitch and then be exposed not once or twice, but thrice against the moving ball delivered by a journeyman- that's Younis Khan for you. Impressive. This after their board had berated, cajoled and threatened every other side in the world for daring not to put their lives at risk, tore up the FTP, and arranged for six Tests in a green, green land against the home team and Australia, both of which sides have white washed them 3-0 in the not too distant past. I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake. Glorious. Let's sit back and applaud their well rounded record of being whitewashed by all comers. At this rate, there will be so many coats that a polar explorer would look positively skimpily dressed in comparison.

[Desi Cartman]

:hysterical: "Journalist" :hysterical:

[DomainK]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dhondy]

What astonishes me is the tendency of both their fans and the cricketing fraternity in general to revert to cliches such as "Pakistan are a really unpredictable side, so cannot be underestimated" or "They are one of the most talented sides in the world"... Where do they get this kind of bedtime stories? If there is one thing consistent about that side, it's their capitulation under pressure, particularly when the ball is doing the littlest bit off the pitch- 72 at Perth, 119 at Manchester, 117 in the last game, 90 here. The frightening thing is that this has come despite possessing batsmen who are highly ranked. On the first two occasions, they had the 2Ys and Inzamam in the side, on the last two, the 2Ys were still there. What's the point of these batsmen with commanding averages, garnered on comatose pitches at home, if they can't deliver when it really counts? And why do fans celebrate the numero uno status of such obvious underachievers? What, in fact, is the point of the ranking system if it throws up these obvious undeservers at the top of the tree, when their side is languishing at the bottom of the pile?

[Mr. Wicket]

I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days' date=' months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake. [/quote'] It's not just the capacity for punishment that is to be admired, it's the ability to then put this mediocrity on a pedestal and celebrate it that leaves me in awe. Where else will you find a fan who responds to a shambolic collapse by saying things along the lines of "Oh this is why I love following Pakistan, they're so inconsistent it's never boring to follow them!"?

[DomainK]

Another thing that amazes me is the ability of the Pakistani fans to blame others for everything that goes wrong. They will manage to somehow blame India for even this disaster forgetting that disaster is their default state.

[Desi Cartman]

I am worried that ACB might actually cancel or change paks tour of Australia later this year. For the last two years we have had some exciting cricket during summers with Indians and SAF touring. The stadiums have been near full and the TV ratings have been as high as ever. Unfortunately with Pak touring Aus this year , the test matches wont last more than 3 days and the ODIs will be boring to watch. To make the matters worse , the other touring team this year is West Indies. :(( Or maybe ACB should get Pak to play West Indies for 3 tests and 7 ODIs at least it will be some contest :idea:

[Dhondy]

Anybody remember the red carpet rollout in Islamabad after they drew a Test series in India? They don't ask for much, do they?:hysterical:

[zubinpepsi]

To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake.

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: seriously thts fkin hilarious..

[Desi Cartman]

And they somehow come up with crap like "BCCI is scared of playing Pak"... seriously this team ?

[Dhondy]

Zubin, you'll think I am really sad, but I actually watched one of those PukeP bosses who fancies himself as a journo on a Pakistani TV channel, being interviewed by a chap whose main area of expertise was wrestling. I kid you not, it was the most enjoyable interview I've ever watched. As our wannabe journo friend valiantly tried to steer the conversation to cricket in his very thick Brummie accent, the interviewer kept bringing up concepts such as "akhara", "chit..pat", and various holds around the neck. There was another bloke alongside him who had played a couple of matches for Pakistan and promptly taken up coaching in England, no doubt to wreck generations of Pommie cricketers. That fella wisely kept his counsel and didn't speak much. Our Brummie friend expostulated, explained, and expanded with self importance until he was the size of a balloon carrying Sir Richard Branson into space. It was quite enjoyable really.

[DomainK]

Zubin, you'll think I am really sad, but I actually watched one of those PukeP bosses who fancies himself as a journo on a Pakistani TV channel, being interviewed by a chap whose main area of expertise was wrestling. I kid you not, it was the most enjoyable interview I've ever watched. As our wannabe journo friend valiantly tried to steer the conversation to cricket in his very thick Brummie accent, the interviewer kept bringing up concepts such as "akhara", "chit..pat", and various holds around the neck. There was another bloke alongside him who had played a couple of matches for Pakistan and promptly taken up coaching in England, no doubt to wreck generations of Pommie cricketers. That fella wisely kept his counsel and didn't speak much. Our Brummie friend expostulated, explained, and expanded with self importance until he was the size of a balloon carrying Sir Richard Branson into space. It was quite enjoyable really.

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: This thread is hilarious. I have been laughing like crazy.:hysterical:

[hari504504]

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: This thread is hilarious. I have been laughing like crazy.:hysterical:

likewise..:yay::two_thumbs_up:

[punjabi_khota]

Yes folks, if you didn''t already know that, it's time to sit back and savour the various pie sized glories popping out of the lean and mean Pakistan cricket machine. Bowled out for 117 from 72 for 2. Bowled out for 90 on a pitch where even BD had scored 188 in their first innings. Against an attack lacking Murali, Vaas & Malinga. Glorious as it gets, really. The raw talent leaves you gasping for breath. Waft outside the off to a veritable pie. No problem, Akmal has it covered. An elegant waft straight to point- it's Yousufbhai's day. Take digs at one of the greatest spinners ever, after scoring 300 on a billiard table of a pitch and then be exposed not once or twice, but thrice against the moving ball delivered by a journeyman- that's Younis Khan for you. Impressive. This after their board had berated, cajoled and threatened every other side in the world for daring not to put their lives at risk, tore up the FTP, and arranged for six Tests in a green, green land against the home team and Australia, both of which sides have white washed them 3-0 in the not too distant past. I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake. Glorious. Let's sit back and applaud their well rounded record of being whitewashed by all comers. At this rate, there will be so many coats that a polar explorer would look positively skimpily dressed in comparison.

Hahahaha, I know whom you are talking about. :hehe: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[EnterTheVoid]

I take my hats off to Pakistani fans. They have enormous capacity for punishment. To waste days, months and years discussing this drivel, to give up their day jobs and become "jounalists", asking mega-irritating questions in pigeon English at press conferences, to deliver commentary in a squeaky, hair-raisingly infantile voice that sets blood pressures soaring, you have to have an almost indefatiguable optimism, or an almost inhuman level of self delusion, ignoring reality looking at you flush in the face and smashing your nose to a pancake.

What astonishes me is the tendency of both their fans and the cricketing fraternity in general to revert to cliches such as "Pakistan are a really unpredictable side, so cannot be underestimated" or "They are one of the most talented sides in the world"... Where do they get this kind of bedtime stories? What's the point of these batsmen with commanding averages, garnered on comatose pitches at home, if they can't deliver when it really counts? And why do fans celebrate the numero uno status of such obvious underachievers? What, in fact, is the point of the ranking system if it throws up these obvious undeservers at the top of the tree, when their side is languishing at the bottom of the pile?

Zubin, you'll think I am really sad, but I actually watched one of those PukeP bosses who fancies himself as a journo on a Pakistani TV channel, being interviewed by a chap whose main area of expertise was wrestling. I kid you not, it was the most enjoyable interview I've ever watched. As our wannabe journo friend valiantly tried to steer the conversation to cricket in his very thick Brummie accent, the interviewer kept bringing up concepts such as "akhara", "chit..pat", and various holds around the neck. There was another bloke alongside him who had played a couple of matches for Pakistan and promptly taken up coaching in England, no doubt to wreck generations of Pommie cricketers. That fella wisely kept his counsel and didn't speak much. Our Brummie friend expostulated, explained, and expanded with self importance until he was the size of a balloon carrying Sir Richard Branson into space. It was quite enjoyable really.

:haha: Oh, Dhondy, you really are too mean. Jokes aside, how refreshing it is to see wit and sarcasm combined with ...... Bah, I am sorry, I just cannot express my thoughts as clearly, eloquently and succintly as you can. Its not just your posts and threads I enjoy reading. Recently, I got time to read your article section. I'll admit my knowledge of cricket is limited at best, but, wow those articles were written in a manner that even the most novice of cricket followers (me for example) would enjoy reading. In my opinion, you're defintely the best article writer and poster on ICF! Really, really, good job!

[Anakin]

This is brutal :--D

[Shehezaada]

Hahahaha, I know whom you are talking about. :hehe: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

did he actually resign from his day job to pursue journalism? but...we can't deny ** has improved, not in the level of posters or anything, but the fact that they can get interviews with famous cricketers, are in close touch with current players, and even get their names mentioned on Cricinfo articles. They also recently streamlines a fast bowler from a village and he's now playing first class cricket! BTW Dhondy, did you watch that akhara interview on youtube or on TV? can you post the link...seems hilarious.

[EnterTheVoid]

I fail to understand how a country with such a proud cricketing reputation have subsided themselves to accept such pitiful levels of mediocrity time and time again and become everybody's favorite whipping boys in the process. PCB officials have been hired, fired and rehired in a revolving door policy with such infantile juvenalism. These actions have been spun, weaved, respun and conveniently masquarded as an overhaul aimed to bring, well, as they put it, "Pakistan cricket back from brink". Yet, I ask you, since the diasaster of the 2007 world cup where every Tom, Dick and Harry seemed to be hired and fired from left, right and centre, can you think of any one official, past or present, legend or cheat, that has provided a glimmer of hope that lessons have been learnt from past failures ? This is an organization that accepts no responsibility, doesn't understand the value of friendship and are the first to expect others, namely the sub - continent bloc of India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh to come to their rescue for what are mistakes of their own making. All of this is done on the pre text that there is a sense of brother hood between these four countries and they need to be united against the threat of the "white" countries. Putting yourself in the position of these countries, would you want to help such people, one that bites the hand that feeds them ? This is a corrupt organization that treats its employees with the utmost of contempt and disrespect and in turn gets frowned upon, scorned and villifed by the International Cricket Community, treated like a piece of gum stuck to thw sole of your shoe. This is an organization where relatives of mass murderers become director generals, where match fixers become head coaches and where every individual wearing a green outfit is treated with suspicion of matchfixing, the despicable, shameless, abhorent and unforgivable crime of selling everything your country represents, its values, its ethics, its image etc, for a few silver coins. Yet, amidst this rivetting drama, you have the fans, who spend months between matches, who spend every spare moment fantasizing about the "beasts" and "ox's" of their cricket team, idiots who build reputations based on rash shots and brain farts that by some miracle, work and translate into a win. Spearheading the attacks are bowlers who are drug cheats, captaining the side are murder suspects, now and than, who were interrogated, finger printed and questioned ... Need I continue ? Credit where credit is due, Paki fans have a great tolerance for pain. To be utterly humiliated in front of everyone time and time again and yet shrug them off as "Oh see, how unpredictable Pakistan are" either have hearts made of stone or have accepted defeat as a possibility before a ball is bowled. Here's my attempt to understand the logic of a Pakistani supporter: "Pakistan playing the match is good enough. Anything else is a bonus"

[Desi Cartman]

TBH , they did win the WC ... and we also lost to SL but still Pak fans :hehe:

[Shane]

Zubin, you'll think I am really sad, but I actually watched one of those PukeP bosses who fancies himself as a journo on a Pakistani TV channel, being interviewed by a chap whose main area of expertise was wrestling. I kid you not, it was the most enjoyable interview I've ever watched. As our wannabe journo friend valiantly tried to steer the conversation to cricket in his very thick Brummie accent, the interviewer kept bringing up concepts such as "akhara", "chit..pat", and various holds around the neck. There was another bloke alongside him who had played a couple of matches for Pakistan and promptly taken up coaching in England, no doubt to wreck generations of Pommie cricketers. That fella wisely kept his counsel and didn't speak much. Our Brummie friend expostulated, explained, and expanded with self importance until he was the size of a balloon carrying Sir Richard Branson into space. It was quite enjoyable really.

:hysterical: Epic Lulz, a 100kV Pwnage, awesome, Sir.