Sachinism Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Lets go... "Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you?!†"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel." "but Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember when I took that Wine making class and forgot how to drive?" Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way Marge : Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer : Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend! While driving with Flanders: bump Flanders: Oh my God! I think we hit someone! Homer: I hope it was Flanders! Oh... "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." "Aim low. Aim so low that nobody cares if you succeed." OK brain. I don't like you and you don't like me. Let's just do this and I can go back to killing you with beer."
Mr. Wicket Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 "Can't murder now, eating." "No TV and no beer make Homer something something" "Go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do!" "Lisa! In this house we obey the rules of thermodynamics!"
Mr. Wicket Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 "Aim low. Aim so low that nobody cares if you succeed." Actually pj, that's a Marge quote (from the Pretzel wagon episode). From the same ep: "I saw you pouring your heart and soul into this business and getting nowhere. I saw you desperately trying to cram one more salty treat into America's already bloated sackhole. So I did what I could. I did what any loving husband would do. I reached out to some violent mobsters!"
Sachinism Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Lisa: No I can't! I can't eat any of them! Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal! Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. Door-to-door security system salesman: "Surely you can't put a price on your family's safety?" Homer: "I wouldn't think so either, but here we are." "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'" "It was like SPEED 2, except with a bus instead of a boat!" Homer: There's the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way. Bart: Isn't that the wrong way? Homer: Yes, but faster!
Mr. Wicket Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 "Move over eggs, bacon just got a new best friend - fudge! :woot:"
Sachinism Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Nobody snuggles with Max Power - You strap yourself in and feel the G's! When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... like God must feel when he's holding a gun First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job. Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad. Homer: Thank you, sweetie. Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers. Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work? Lisa: It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock. Homer: I see. Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around, do you? Homer: Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock. "With ten thousand dollars we'd be millionaires!" It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen. Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done. "They have the internet on computers now?"
flamy Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Who the **** is Homer Simpson ? you, bittch are an attention hoar.
Mr. Wicket Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Who the **** is Homer Simpson ? go watch some ****ing simpsons
Mr. Wicket Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 First you get the sugar' date=' then you get the power, then you get the women.[/quote'] "The strong must protect the sweet" :rotfl: What a ****ing amazing bit that was!
Mr. Wicket Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 From this week: "Ohhhh - why do my actions have consequences?"
Sachinism Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 What's the point in going out? We'll just wind up back here anyways. "If the Bible has taught us anything - which it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such." Doctor: Mr Simpson, this operation will either increase your brain power, or it will kill you. Homer: Increase my killing power you say? "I wish god were alive to see this." I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman! "Hey Flanders, remember that time you lent me $100 and I paid you back? Now it's time for YOU to do something for ME"
Guest Hiten. Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 (pointing at the wooden plane) It's about time trees came useful than standing like jerks :((
Sachinism Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... well, I forget that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car? "This year I invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and I've got a feeling they're going to peek right around January and BANG! That's when I'll cash in!" Homer (chanting): We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears! We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears! Guy: Homer why are you chanting that? Homer: I don't know, but they were chanting something like it at last week's mustache parade. "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you. Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you. Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me -- no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
StriKe Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Homer:Operator! Give me the number for 911! Homer:'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
Sachinism Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Homer:Operator! Give me the number for 911! Homer:'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key? Classic!
Sachinism Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 Not Homer but funny nonetheless Milhouse to Bart: You got that right, remember the time he ate me goldfish and you lied to me and said I never had a goldfish? Then why'd I have the bowl Bart? Why Did I Have The Bowl??
Recommended Posts