Sehwagology

[Guest Hiten.]

The Sehwagology XI And he sent his only sons. 11 men with rock hard testicles, and great hand eye co-ordination. And he said, they will carve, they will plunder, and you will applaud. Victor Trumper, he shall go in early, and reek havoc on the bowlers. Michael Slater, he shall jump around like a virgin in hell, and reek havoc in the change room. Viv Richards, he shall be cooler than anyone you know, or don’t know. Mark Waugh, he shall make mullets and dandruff ads palatable, whilst flicking one off his pads. Sanath Jayasuriya, he shall be a pirate, and conquer the 7 seas. Keith Miller, he shall be your superhero. Adam Gilchrist, he shall release a plague of locusts on your ass. Ian Botham, he shall drink the opposition under the table. Kapil Dev, he shall dance for us. Shahid Afridi, he shall wreak havoc and destruction, on himself. Wasim Akram, he shall be faster than you can see. And on the 5th day, they rest.

The 10 Virendments - Sehwag’s Revelation in the Old Testament (Wisden). They were given directly by Sehwag to the people of India at Chidambaram Stadium after He had delivered them from Boredom in Chennai: “And Sehwag spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the opening batsmen, your God… ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me, except Sachin and maybe Sunil.’ TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Infact don’t carve anything that is not wide outside off stump.’ THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, so if you stub your toe, try to not say Oh Sehwag.’ FOUR: ‘Remember the 3rd day, the pitch is often at it’s best.’ FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother, and your sponsors.’ SIX: ‘You shall not murder, exceptions made for opening bowlers, spinners and probots.’ SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit quick singles.’ EIGHT: ‘You shall not be worrying about playing and missing.’ NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against the BCCi.’ TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, but if he bowls a wide half volley hit it like it stole your donkey or ox.’

http://www.cricketwithballs.com/sehwagology/

[Sachinism]

Sehwagology has become quite famous, last week jrod had an article about it on cricinfo

[Guest Gunner]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Surrender to Virender!!!! He is ours and only ours!!

[flamy]

Sehwag is the reincarnation of Buddha He controls his mind, not the other way round. Remember when Shastri asked him what were his thoughts when he was smashing the lankans all over the park in his 293: "My mind was blank." :hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

[champ]

Sehwag is the reincarnation of Buddha He controls his mind, not the other way round. Remember when Shastri asked him what were his thoughts when he was smashing the lankans all over the park in his 293: "My mind was blank." :hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

another excerpts from book of sehwagology .. a blank mind scores more .. :hatsoff:

[Sachinism]

There are some people who believe that Sehwagology is just a joke, that it isn’t a real religion, and that I just made it up. Bullshit. I may have named the spiritual practice, but this was a divine inspiration taken directly from the prophet. Sehwagology is real, people, I can’t stress that enough. I have used the sehwagology principles in my life and my strike rate for happiness has never been higher. True fact. Others have used it to. Sehwagology is the key to eternal happiness and stunning cover drives. Generally our man does his best talking with a bat, but occasionally he gives a message with his mouth.

“When I play a cover-drive, I play it to score runs. I don’t play a shot to get out. So, if the cover-drive ends up in a catch at slip, I am spared criticism. If it ends up in the hands at covers, I am slammed. The shot attempted has remained the same, only the mode of dismissal is different.”

Think about it. Think hard. Yeah, it’s real good. I play it to score runs. So much wisdom, in such a small space. In life, does it matter if you are caught at deep mid-wicket or short leg, you’re going to go out one way or another, maybe it should be going for your personal DLF Maximum. Things that Sehwagology can help include: love, lust, money matters, problems with the kids, problems with your parents, batting and acne. If you haven’t converted, think about cover drives, and you will be saved. http://www.cricketwithballs.com/2010/04/07/sehwagology-preaching/ Saw that quote on cricinfo yesterday, thought it was brilliant. Its so true, but us fans don't always understand.

[thevortex]

Sheer brilliance. Yes, I saw this a few months back.