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The Akmals: a TV series

Laaloo

By Laaloo
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Laaloo Grand Master

Laaloo

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Are events involving two Pakistani siblings Down Under putting you in mind of an 80s American sitcom? You're not the only one Jarrod Kimber January 12, 2010 INT. FAMILY HOUSE - DAY (A jolly tune plays with a friendly voice singing about families as we see a woman, MRS AKMAL, being pushed into the house by a man, MR AKMAL.) MRS AKMAL Ah, it is good to be home. MR AKMAL Glad to have you back. (Two youngsters run down the stairs, UMAR AND KAMRAN. They are slapping each other and yelling.) KAMRAN Your back is sore. UMAR My back is fine. KAMRAN You're lying. UMAR You're dropped. (They run straight past their mother, who sticks out her leg and trips both of them. They fall on top of each other and then start fighting. Mrs Akmal grabs them by their ears and drags them up.) MRS AKMAL How about giving your poor mother a kiss then? (Both boys lean in and kiss Mrs Akmal and she lets go of their ears. MRS AKMAL (CONT'D) That is much better. Now what is all this madcap behaviour about? (Both boys stare at the floor.) UMAR & KAMRAN Nuffin. MRS AKMAL It doesn't seem like nothing. Kamran, is this about the four dropped catches... MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the missed run-out. MRS AKMAL And the missed run-out. (Kamran shrugs.) UMAR Yes, the team dropped him, and now he wants me to pretend to be hurt. KAMRAN Shut up, knucklehead. (MRS AKMAL wheels herself over to Kamran, slowly, and lovingly puts a hand on his face, and then grabs him by the ear.) MRS AKMAL What is wrong with you? Is it not enough you have ruined your career with four dropped catches? MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the missed run-out. MRS AKMAL And the missed run out. But now you are trying to ruin your brother's life as well. He is still a young boy of only 23 years of age, 19 in Pakistani cricket years, and you want to drag him down because of four dropped catches. MR AKMAL (interjecting) And… MRS AKMAL (interjecting and yelling) THE RUN-OUT, we know. Kamran breaks free of the ear-hold. KAMRAN Mother, you don't understand. Wicketkeeping at Test-match level is really hard. There are cameras, and crowds, plus Misbah never shuts up. (Mrs Akmal gestures for Kamran to come over.) MRS AKMAL I know, come here. (Kamran hesitantly walks over and Mrs Akmal strokes him.) MRS AKMAL (CONT'D) I am so sorry. Are you okay? You poor boy. It isn't like I (yelling) JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK. Is Test keeping harder than a heart attack? Kamran shakes his head as best he can with his ear being held. MRS AKMAL (CONT'D) Exactly. Mrs Akmal tugs on Kamran's ear. Umar giggles, and she grabs his too. MRS AKMAL (to Umar) You, stop fighting with your brother. (to Kamran) You, stop complaining and go and work on your keeping, because I don't ever want to see you drop four catches again. MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the... Mrs Akmal drops the boys' ears and chases Mr Akmal around the room. MRS AKMAL Say it again. Say it again! I dare ya, I double dare ya, you knucklehead! Say it one more stupid time. Kamran and Umar laugh as his mother rides around the room trying to knock over their father. FADE TO BLACK. :cantstop: http://www.cricinfo.com/page2/content/story/443766.html

Sachinism Newbie

Sachinism

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INT. FAMILY HOUSE – DAY A jolly tune plays with a friendly voice singing about families as we see a woman, MRS AKMAL, being pushed into the house by a man, MR AKMAL. MRS AKMAL Ah, it is good to be home. MR AKMAL Glad to have you back. Two youngsters run down the stairs, UMAR AND KAMRAN, they are slapping each other and yelling. KAMRAN Your back is sore. UMAR My back is fine. KAMRAN You’re lying. UMAR You’re dropped. They run straight past their mother, who sticks out her leg and trips both of them. They fall on top of each other and then start fighting. Mrs Akmal grabs them by their ears and drags them up. MRS AKMAL How about giving your poor mother a kiss then? Both boys lean in and kiss Mrs Akmal and she lets go of their ears. MRS AKMAL (CONT’D) That is much better, now what is all this madcapped behaviour about. Both boys stare at the floor. UMAR & KAMRAN Nuffin. MRS AKMAL It doesn’t seem like nothing. Kamran, is this about the 4 dropped catches… MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the missed run out. MRS AKMAL And the missed run out. Kamran shrugs. UMAR It totally is, the team dropped him, and now he wants me to pretend to be hurt. KAMRAN Shut up, knucklehead. MRS AKMAL wheels herself over to Kamran, slowly, and lovingly puts a hand on his face, and then grabs him by the ear. MRS AKMAL What is wrong with you, is it not enough you have ruined your career with 4 dropped catches. MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the missed run out. MRS AKMAL And the missed run out. But now you are trying to ruin your brothers life as well. He is still a young boy of only 23 years of age, 19 in Pakistani Cricket years, and you want to drag him down because of 4 dropped catches. MR AKMAL (interjecting) And. MRS AKMAL (interjecting and yelling) THE RUN OUT, we know. Kamran breaks free of the ear hold. KAMRAN Mom, you don’t understand, wicket keeping at test match level is really hard. There are cameras, and crowds, plus Misbah never shuts up. Mrs Akmal gestures for Kamran to come over. MRS AKMAL I know, come here. Kamran hesitantly walks over and Mrs Akmal strokes him. MRS AKMAL (CONT’D) I am so sorry, are you ok, you poor boy. It isn’t like I (yelling) JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK. Is test keeping harder than a heart attack? Kamran shakes his head as best he can with his ear being held. MRS AKMAL (CONT’D) Exactly. Mrs Akmal notices that there is a glass on her coffee table. MRS AKMAL (CONT’D) Why is that glass not on a coaster? KAMRAN Muhammad did it. MRS AKMAL Oh really, why is it that this Muhammad does all this stuff and I never see it. KAMRAN Well if we showed Muhammad, or a character purporting to be Muhammad, we would probably all be killed. MRS AKMAL Then why mention him at all. KAMRAN For the laughs. Mrs Akmal tugs on Kamran’s ear, Umar giggles, and she grabs his too. MRS AKMAL (to Umar) You, stop fighting with your brother and go play that test in Hobart. (to Kamran) You, stop complaining and go and work on your keeping, because I don’t ever want to see you drop four catches again. MR AKMAL (interjecting) And the… Mrs Akmal drops the boys ears and rolls over to Mr Akmal and chases him around the room. MRS AKMAL Say it again. Say it again! I dare ya, I double dare ya, you knucklehead! Say it one more stupid time. Kamran and Umar laugh as his mother rides around the room trying to knock over their father. FADE TO BLACK.
uncut version from cwb
Aaku Newbie

Aaku

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:hysterical: AWESOME ! 'and the run out.. !' Bwahhahahahahahaahahaahhahaha! 'Hes just 23..and 19 in paki cricket years.' Bwahahahahahahahahahaha !!! Great waiting for the next episode :--D

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