punjabiplaya Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? Because the poor didn't have anything worth stealing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Billy was watching TV. Next day Billy comes downstairs & asks his Dad what's love juice? His father looks horrified & tells Billy all about sex & why a womans vagina gets wet. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad asks, "So what were you watching?" Billy replies, "Wimbledon!" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::cantstop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Warrior Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 My wife told me she wanted to be buried. I didn't realise she meant when she died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Why is it when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a **** but when a guy does it, he's all of a sudden gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakat Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Man rolls over in bed & grins at wife - she says Not tonight darling I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and want 2 stay clean. Man rolls over feeling rejected. After 5 minutes he rolls back over and asks 'Do u have a dentist appointment tomorrow? edit. :winky: Man rolls over in bed & grins at wife - she says Not tonight darling I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and want 2 stay clean. Man rolls over feeling rejected. After 5 minutes he rolls back over and asks 'How about a bj then?', wife says,'Can't, I'm getting my molar capped the day after'. Man rolls over again feeling really frustrated. He thinks hard and figures she won't have an excuse for this, 'Ok, then let me do you up the bum then.' Wife says, 'Nope. I'm planning to swing by the butcher's on my way back.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karan114 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 ^ :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Husband tells wife: 'Honey, I swear if u go to India they will worship you'. Wife: 'Am I that beautiful'? Husband: 'No, u look like a cow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Paki couple are walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says... For fecks sake stop crying, you're still my sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Scientific evidence has proved that women have a certain 'Spot' and if men learn to hit this 'Spot' then it will make her body go all wobbly and turn her legs to Jelly..... it's called the Chin! Let me knw if it works :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 I was showing my doctor a nasty rash that has appeared on my c*ck today. He seemed pretty uncomfortable and didn't want to touch it. All he said was "Please make an appointment at the surgery for Monday" and walked off pushing his trolley around Morrisons with his kids. :winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 A bird in a club commented on my hands.She said, "Oh my, what big manly hands, you don't come across those every day."I said, "Actually I do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 A mother toilet trained little Nick by numbers... 1 Open ur fly 2 Take out ur tackle 3 Pull skin back 4 Do business 5 Shake it 6 Pull skin forward 7 Put tackle away 8 Close fly.. She often heard 12345678 as she passed the bathroom & was pleased with him, till 1 day she heard.... 3 6 3 6 3 6 3 6 3 6;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Girl in a short skirt and no knickers at the top of the stairs on a London bus shouts down to the conductor "Is this Ealing?" he says "Fecking hell from where i'm standing it looks like it could do with a couple of stitches!" :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 The nintendo wii and x box are both White, no credit card details were stolen by these. The ps3 on the other hand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 another 1 for gunner I was in the car with this bird last night and the flirting was getting quite intense when she said to me ''Feck me in the shith*le !''.I said ''I'm not driving all the way to White hart lane at this time of night.'' :cantstop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 A little kid just said to me "What's your favourite Telly Tubby?" I said 'Probably the Samsung 42 inch flatscreen, ya' cheeky little bast*rd. .! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Man goes to get his wife a maternity bra and the assistant says 'what bust?' the man replies 'the fecking condom' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Just arrived home to find a pretty woman grouting the bathroom wall & singing "It's a heartache, nothing but a fools game." I thought to myself she's a BONNIE TYLER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 A mother toilet trained little Nick by numbers... 1 Open ur fly 2 Take out ur tackle 3 Pull skin back 4 Do business 5 Shake it 6 Pull skin forward 7 Put tackle away 8 Close fly.. She often heard 12345678 as she passed the bathroom & was pleased with him, till 1 day she heard.... 3 6 3 6 3 6 3 6 3 6;) another 1 for gunner I was in the car with this bird last night and the flirting was getting quite intense when she said to me ''Feck me in the shith*le !''.I said ''I'm not driving all the way to White hart lane at this time of night.'' :cantstop: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: P.S : I got the White Hart Lane joke :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: P.S : I got the White Hart Lane joke :D lol are you a gunners fan too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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