punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 man utd? just starting to think you was a good fella :winky: liverpool all the way next season
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 remember the good old days when i pulled down the wife's knickers to see her ass. Now i have to pull apart her ass to see her knickers!
Laaloo Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Husband tells wife: 'Honey, I swear if u go to India they will worship you'. Wife: 'Am I that beautiful'? Husband: 'No, u look like a cow Paki couple are walking out of the divorce court' date=' the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says... For fecks sake stop crying, you're still my sister[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 My wife walked in the kitchen and said, "That smells nice, what is it?" "Its a red wine sauce I've made." I pointed my finger towards her and said, "Have a taste." She said, "That tastes ****ing disgusting." "Sorry, wrong finger... scratched my ar$e with that one."
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What the hell is the matter with you?!" the older doctor demanded.” Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?" :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Amir decides to tell his girlfriend about his small penis. In the dark he took it out, put it in her hand and waited for her reaction: 'No thanx I dont smoke.'
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 daughter says to mother"mom I'm pregnant again, it must be something in the air" mother replies "yeah your fecking legs"!
punjabiplaya Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 A bulb walks into an airport without any bags wearing nothing but a shirt, sandals, and a hat.The check in girl looks at him and says "Travelling light?"The bulb says "Yes, I am"
Sachin=GOD Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Billy was watching TV. Next day Billy comes downstairs & asks his Dad what's love juice? His father looks horrified & tells Billy all about sex & why a womans vagina gets wet. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad asks, "So what were you watching?" Billy replies, "Wimbledon!" Husband tells wife: 'Honey, I swear if u go to India they will worship you'. Wife: 'Am I that beautiful'? Husband: 'No, u look like a cow Paki couple are walking out of the divorce court' date=' the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says... For fecks sake stop crying, you're still my sister[/quote']
Dark Warrior Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 It can be embarrassing when you get the smiley the wrong way around in texts. Today I texted my ex wife: "I just found out that your mum died : )" It would have been awful if I'd got that wrong.
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 A woman's poem: Before i lay me down to sleep, i pray for a man who's not a creep, ones who's handsome,smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks,one who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, and when i spend, won't get annoyed. Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and always understand.... A mans poem: I pray for a deaf mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big ti*s and a fanny tighter than a mouses waist-coat. Who owns a pub, loves the taste of cum and occasionaly takes it in the ass. This doesn't even rhyme but who gives a feck. Poetrys for women!
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 says 2 paki couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex amir says i wonder how the girls are getting on ? :cantstop::cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Woman walks up the stairs on a bus with no knickers on, bus conductor says "i can see the moon" woman says u shoulda seen it last nite! Their was a man in it!
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 says did u know that Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead, now Mary brings that lamb to school between two slabs of bread
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 I woke last night to find the Ghost of Gloria Gaynor stood at the foot of my bed, At first I was Afraid I was petrified.
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Well, I figured out why I'm so fat!! The shampoo I use in the shower runs down my body and says, "for extra volume and body."
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Class asked to use "contagious" in a sentence & Irish Joe says, "My neighbour's painting her house wid a 2-inch brush and Dad says it will take the contagious." :cantstop::cantstop::cantstop::cantstop::cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 If your lover is overweight, then get them to walk 3miles in the morning and 3miles in the evening. By the end of the week the fatfecker should be 42miles away!
punjabiplaya Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 "BREAKING NEWS" 14 Irish women arrested outside CURRY'S !!! They didn't realise a 42 inch murphy was a colour television .........
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