punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 What's the difference between Amy Winehouse & Jack Daniels ? Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke .
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Whats the difference between amy winehouse and pete doherty? a week hopefully.
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Priest asks the pope "when is it ok to have sex with young boys?" Pope says "it's legal once they've left school." Priest says "Roll on 4 o'clock!"
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Jewish man takes his wife to hospital, she has 2 black eyes, no teeth and a broken nose. Doctor says, "What happened?" Jew replies, "She was going through the change." "What? The change? This doesn't happen in the change!" "It does when it's in my fecking pocket!" :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 A man was laying in bed with his new Chinese bride. "How do you fancy a 69, love?" he asked. She said , "If you think I'm cooking this time of night, you can go feck yourself."
Desi Cartman Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Recession Beater! Wife says to husband - 'If you cycle to work we could get rid of the 2nd car!' Husband replies, 'If you take it up the ar*e and let me come on your face we could get rid of the Nanny!' :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 My mate says his paki missus is a bit rough when she's w*nking him off. He calls her "The Terror Wrist"
punjabiplaya Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 Cameron Jerome goes to visit the local careers advisor.He sits down and says, "I'm fed up of being a footballer. I get ridiculed all the time and I'm just looking to find something new."The advisor says, "Ok Mr. Jerome. First question: What is your one and only goal in life?"He replies, "Last November against Stoke."
punjabiplaya Posted July 30, 2011 Author Posted July 30, 2011 I kissed her parted lips, our tongues touched. One hand passionately kneaded her breast, tweaking her hardened nipple. As the other hand delved deep between her thighs I couldn't help but think, "This'll probably be the last open casket funeral I get invited to".
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 My wife came into the bedroom wearing a naughty nurse's outfit last night. "Do you need some help, sir?" She said with a wink. "Yes," I replied. "I feel sick." "Ooh, do you now," she giggled. "Yes, so put some clothes on, you fat bit*h." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. khan, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. khan," the doctor said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health, Mr khan," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either." :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 My wife called me upstairs to the bedroom earlier. "Look what I found in the cupboard, crotchless panties " She said as she seductively modelled them. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was one of my vests. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 My wife recently complained about my lack of interest in her family. So I fecked her sister :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I kissed her parted lips' date=' our tongues touched. One hand passionately kneaded her breast, tweaking her hardened nipple. As the other hand delved deep between her thighs I couldn't help but think, "This'll probably be the last open casket funeral I get invited to".[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 Mr Khan and Mr Jones live next door to each other in identical houses. Their homes are valued by an estate agent. Mr Khan's house is worth £200,000 - while Mr Jones' is worth £150,000. Mr Jones asks the estate agent, "Why this is?" The estate agent replies, "Simple: Mr Khan doesn't have a Paki living next door."
punjabiplaya Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 How do you get a Paki out of a shower? Turn the water on.
Laaloo Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Mr Khan and Mr Jones live next door to each other in identical houses. Their homes are valued by an estate agent. Mr Khan's house is worth £200,000 - while Mr Jones' is worth £150,000. Mr Jones asks the estate agent, "Why this is?" The estate agent replies, "Simple: Mr Khan doesn't have a Paki living next door." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Mr Khan and Mr Jones live next door to each other in identical houses. Their homes are valued by an estate agent. Mr Khan's house is worth £200,000 - while Mr Jones' is worth £150,000. Mr Jones asks the estate agent, "Why this is?" The estate agent replies, "Simple: Mr Khan doesn't have a Paki living next door." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 We know god is not a woman. Because we aren't all sandwiches.
punjabiplaya Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 The 100m final at the 2012 Olympics will be just like any other Friday night in London.You'll hear a gunshot followed by 8 Nig*ers fecking legging it.
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