punjabiplaya Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 2 paki kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest coward. 1st paki kid says, "My dad's so scared, when lightening strikes, he hides under the bed!" The 2nd paki kid laughs & replies, "Yeah well that's nothing! My dad's such a wimp- when my mum works nightshift, he sleeps with my sister!!"
b555 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Advani to Team Anna: "Tum karo to Ram leela, Hum kare to character dheela?"
punjabiplaya Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 My driving instructor went mental when I hit 180 going down the motorway the wrong way.He shouted "Just take the fecking dart board off the dash and concentrate on the road before you get us both killed!"
punjabiplaya Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 French foreplay : Dinner , wine , Sex !. . . Italian foreplay : Dinner , wine , dancing , Sex !. . . . Latino foreplay : Dinner . Wine , dancing , caressing . Sex ! . . . . . . English foreplay : Oi...You awake?
punjabiplaya Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Amir goes into a police station to report his wife as missing. "So, what does she look like then?" asks constable khan on duty. "Well, she's 18 stone, 5 foot 6, has dyed-red rust hair going white at the roots, a big nose, pointy ears, an oily complexion, acne, fat ankles, droopy tits ... she's also cross-eyed and speaks with a lisping stutter ... on second thoughts, don't bother, Officer khan, I'm sure she'll turn up." :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Amir met this hot girl in a club last night and was a bit embarrassed to ask her back to his place as he still lived with his parents. It turned out she was cool about it up until the point he was asking his folks to budge up the bed.
punjabiplaya Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 What's the difference between Fernando Torres and Wayne Bridge?John Terry appreciates Wayne Bridge's missus.
punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography." "What about it?" I replied. "How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?"
punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 I pulled up to a set of traffic lights the other day when alongside me pulled a car full of pakis, a few seconds later a lorry ploughed into them killing the lot. I thought 'Feck me, that was lucky! That could've been me in there!' So I've now applied for my HGV licence.
punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 After my divorce hearing I turned to my newly ex-wife and said: "Do you know what's been the best thing since I left you, it's-" "Oh, I know. You've been out shag*ing anything that moves!" she said. "Sowing your wild oats, getting your co*k into anything with a pulse. I know exactly what you're all about, mister!" "-it's that I've actually been able to finish a fecking sentence without being interrupted."
punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me! :hysterical::hysterical:
asterix Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography." "What about it?" I replied. "How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography." "What about it?" I replied. "How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?" :hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography." "What about it?" I replied. "How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabi_khota Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me! :hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::haha::haha:
punjabiplaya Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 How can you tell if a black mans happy? Turn off the lights :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 What's big and round and hates Pakis? THE WORLD!
punjabiplaya Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Husband drinking WINE & said "Tum kon ho" Wife - Pagal ho gaye kya? Apni Biwi ko bhool gaye? Husband : Nasha har dukh bhula deta hai Behan ji...;)
punjabiplaya Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. "Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible ?"she said. Being the nice guy I am I thought "Feck it I'll treat her" So we walked past it again
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