gaurav92 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Amir was telling me that **** sex was a lot like his first car. he didn't really want it . . . but his Uncle gave it to him anyway! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 After Big Brother house mate Mark decided to walk out of the show this morning, TV chiefs have needed to take drastic action to boost flagging ratings. Enter new house mate, Amanda Knox
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Priest and Nun on a camel in the Sahara desert the camel drops dead leaving them doomed. Realising their fate, and having never seen a naked woman, the priest asks the nun to show her tits and she agrees, providing he shows his co*k. They fondle each other and the priest gets an erection. Priest says, 'You know if I put this in the right place I can create life' 'Good!' said the Nun 'Stick it up the camels ar*e and lets get the feck out of here!'.. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 According to Tetley... the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap the wife on the ar*e & say "two sugars fatty
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Took a girl home after clubbing last night. After a few drinks at mine, we went upstairs & while we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said "I hope thats not that fat one from last week". The girl said "What the feck was that?" "I said its that bast*rd memory foam mattress"
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 At a recent job interview: What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not. And your strengths? I'm Batman.
punjabiplaya Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 All men are conned into believing they are marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is that, after a few years, the nympho leaves, but the maniac doesn't!! :haha::haha:
punjabiplaya Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 Steve Jobs, the man who created the Ipod and iPhone has died. Just a thought, but has anyone tried turning him off and then back on again?
punjabiplaya Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 I have a paki friend that likes to consider himself a bit of a rebel. For example. Last month, he had a bath... :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
f.b.m Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I've come across so many Steve Jobs jokes recently... So not PC.. :-/
Sid Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Priest and Nun on a camel in the Sahara desert the camel drops dead leaving them doomed. Realising their fate, and having never seen a naked woman, the priest asks the nun to show her tits and she agrees, providing he shows his co*k. They fondle each other and the priest gets an erection. Priest says, 'You know if I put this in the right place I can create life' 'Good!' said the Nun 'Stick it up the camels ar*e and lets get the feck out of here!'.. :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
WC2011INDIA Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Priest and Nun on a camel in the Sahara desert the camel drops dead leaving them doomed. Realising their fate, and having never seen a naked woman, the priest asks the nun to show her tits and she agrees, providing he shows his co*k. They fondle each other and the priest gets an erection. Priest says, 'You know if I put this in the right place I can create life' 'Good!' said the Nun 'Stick it up the camels ar*e and lets get the feck out of here!'.. :hysterical: NC-17.
punjabiplaya Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 With the onset of winter I bought my black flat mate a couple of pairs of gloves.He said, "Thanks for the extra pair as well.""There isn't an extra pair," I said. "They're for your fecking feet monkey boy
punjabiplaya Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 If sex between 3 people is called a "threesome" and between 2 people is called a "twosome", I know why you are called handsome!
punjabiplaya Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 My new doctor is a young, drop dead gorgeous female. I was embarrassed but she said 'Don't worry I'm a professional, I've seen it all before, just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it for you personally!.........I said 'I think my sperm tastes funny!'
punjabiplaya Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Couple having sex in the garden at night. He says "I wish I had a torch" She says "So do I, you've been licking that slug on the grass for the last ten minutes"
punjabiplaya Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 I asked the wife for some oral relief today. She said, "Would you like me to suck you off?" I replied, "No, I want you to shut the feck up." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sid Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I asked the wife for some oral relief today. She said, "Would you like me to suck you off?" I replied, "No, I want you to shut the feck up." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :cantstop:
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