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Posted

Paddy wants to become a Priest, so he goes to see the Bishop who says, "1st u must answer 3 questions on the Bible". 1st, Who was born in a stable?' "Red Rum" replies paddy. 2nd, "Do u know anything about Damascus?". "It kills 99% of all known germs" says paddy. 3rd, "What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?". "Not sure about that!", says paddy!. "Did Popeye kick the feckin' shite out of em!!??....

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An ice cream van just drove past advertising any flavour you can think of. I asked for a minge flavour cornet. After the first lick I said to ice cream man, "This tastes like shi*". "Take shorter licks", he replied.

Posted

An ice cream van just drove past advertising any flavour you can think of. I asked for a minge flavour cornet. After the first lick I said to ice cream man, "This tastes like shi*". "Take shorter licks", he replied.

Posted

So the new paranormal activity 3 is about a ghost who stalks little girls and makes em play with him late at night when the mum and step dad are not around.Glad to see Michael Jackson back to his old tricks.

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An ice cream van just drove past advertising any flavour you can think of. I asked for a minge flavour cornet. After the first lick I said to ice cream man, "This tastes like shi*". "Take shorter licks", he replied.
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :sick:
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Little johnny draws a co*k on the blackboard. The teacher shocked rubbs it off. Johhny draws a bigger one' date=' teacher rubbs it off again. Johnny draws a huge co*k on the blackboard and as the teacher goes to rubb it off he say " Miss you know the more you rub it the bigger it grows!"..[/quote'] :cantstop:
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Michael Jackson trial.... Dr Conrad Murray has told the court about Jackson's dramatic weight loss.... "Michael had got so thin that although his pyjama tops were still adult size, he could still squeeze himself into children's bottoms."

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I was feeling horny so I phoned the missus for a bit of phone sex. As she answered I said, "Tell me you're not wearing any knickers." She said, "I actually am not wearing any knickers." I replied, "Oh yeah baby, tell me what you're doing...you naughty girl" She replied, "I'm having a sh*t!!"

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