Laaloo Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Woh aaankh bi kya pyari thi, Jo usne humKo maari thi. Hum to muft mein bik gaye Dosto, Hamein kya pata tha ki unko.. Baba Ram Dev wali Bimari thi..
Laaloo Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 A man walks into a bar and says to the barman "Line me up ten whiskies" So the barman lines them up and the man gulps them down one after another. "Jeez" says the barman "What are you celebrating then?". "My first blow job" replies the man. "Oh well" says the barman "for that I’ll buy you one myself." "No thanks" says the man "If ten doesn’t get rid of the taste, another one wont help
punjabiplaya Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 I remember how horrified I was when I discovered the truth about Father Christmas. I mean it was so obvious, he's in thousands of places at once, he makes millions of toys without paying his workers.. How did I not spot that Santa's Chinese?
punjabiplaya Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 "You'd make an ideal lesbian" ahmed said to his wife. "Why?" She said, "Is it because I'm a gentile lover?" "No" ahmed replied, "You're fat and have spiky hair."
punjabiplaya Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Police Man: Excuse me sir, we think we found your wife dead in a car accident we need you to identify the body. Man: I'm a little busy right now can you just upload it to fb and tag me on it? If it's her i'll click like. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Police Man: Excuse me sir, we think we found your wife dead in a car accident we need you to identify the body. Man: I'm a little busy right now can you just upload it to fb and tag me on it? If it's her i'll click like. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary. "Well you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly", she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with." "That's fair enough", I replied, "When can you start?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachin=GOD Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary. "Well you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly", she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with." "That's fair enough", I replied, "When can you start?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 I don't understand the authorities saying "We don't negotiate with terrorists." What are they talking about? I just managed to get a free can of Coke with my kebab. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
J P K Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Police Man: Excuse me sir, we think we found your wife dead in a car accident we need you to identify the body. Man: I'm a little busy right now can you just upload it to fb and tag me on it? If it's her i'll click like. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 After a pioneering operation to restore my sight, discovering that I was a paki really took the shine of an otherwise successful day.
punjabiplaya Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 A reporter asked Luiz Suarez earlier, "do you think an 8 match ban was a bit harsh?" Luiz Suarez replied "it could have been worse, i could be black". :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Pakis really puzzle me. They can tolerate the desert heat in their homeland just fine, so how come I just saw a couple of them walk through the 'Nothing To Declare' aisle at Heathrow, and they were sweating like feck? :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 I remember some of the stuff ahmed told me he used to believe was real when he was younger. Like Santa Claus, Peter Pan, the Tooth Fairy, women's rights ...
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 My wife asked me if we can have something more 'Christmassy' on the television. So I put Fifa on and played in snowy conditions
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 There was a survey on why men liked blowjobs - 5% liked the look, 15% liked the feel and the other 80% liked the silence!
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman? One's on the cover of Playboy and the other's on the cover of National Geographic.
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 A White, a Black and a paki are walking along the beach when they find a magic lamp. Quick as a flash, out pops a Genie. "Ah, you have freed me," says the Genie. "I will grant you each one wish to show my gratitude." The paki says, "I wish all us pakis were back home in pakistan." Poof! He disappears. The Black says, "I wish all the Blacks were home in Africa living happy lives." Poof! he disappears. Then the White turns to the Genie and says, "So you're telling me there are no Blacks or pakis in the country?" "Yes, I suppose so," replies the Genie. The White says, "Well, I'll just have some champagne then."
punjabiplaya Posted December 27, 2011 Author Posted December 27, 2011 Why dont paki women smoke weed? They're afraid of getting stoned.
punjabiplaya Posted December 29, 2011 Author Posted December 29, 2011 Ahmed was moaning how he paid £800 for his circumcision. What a rip off he whined....
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