punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 The top 8 things girls should say to men: 1. I'm bored, let's shave me snatch 2. Are you sure you've had plenty to drink? 3. That fart was awesome drop another! 4. Of course I swallow, it's lush 5. No thats ok you watch porn, I'll toss you off after i've done these dishes. 6. Just for a change stick it up me ar*e. 7. Are you still shag*ing that girl at work? 8. Marriage? No fecking way! Sadly, Carlsberg dont do these girlfriends but Thailand does!
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 It's my black stepson's birthday and I'm gonna surprise him as best I can. I'll leave an extra tenner in my coat pocket for him
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 Just moved house, i'll send u the address later.But, feck me it's a rough area. Myra Hindley is the avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter, Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group and the Mcanns run the holiday club. But at least there's no pakis.
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 When I heard Stephen Hawking had reached 70, I thought, "feck me - that's one powerful wheelchair."
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 My mate just rang me in tears. His wife has left him, taken his prized Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish! Poor basta*d. No woman, no sky!
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 What's long, black and makes women go: mmmmmmmmmmm? Duct tape
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 Ahmed was boasting how he was having a full blown threesome with these two dirty bit*hes at work. The blonde one was taking it up the ar*e while the black one was licking and slurping on my balls....Then the boss walked in. Needless to say Ahmed lost his job at the kennels!
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 There I was in bed with my wife, Then she said to me she wanted something long and hard, and makes her scream! So I whacked her with my baseball bat
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 I thought I was going 2 make a lot of money having taken a picture of a black kid with 7 fingers on one hand. Turns out the little fecker was eating a Kit Kat!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 Liverpool sign a new striker from nigeria. On the first day of training kenny dalglish picks up the ball and says "BALL".. Then does a kick motion & says "KICK".. Then points to the goal and says "GOAL" .. Understand ?? The nigerian replies i speak perfect english mr dalglish.. Dalglish says sit down you black bast*rd I'm speaking to andy carroll.
punjabiplaya Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 What do you call a man with a spade on his head? ............................................................................Scott Parker.
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 latest score from the african cup of nations.......... Barking 2 Dagenham 1
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 Just bought a new wig made completely out of a*al hair. . . . Fecker keeps blowing off.
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 My mate was diagnosed as a mute today . . . . I thought feck me . . . . He kept that quiet..!!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 My wife just caught me blow drying my penis and she asked what was i doing, apparently "heating up your dinner" was not the right answer :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Laaloo Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 My wife just caught me blow drying my penis and she asked what was i doing, apparently "heating up your dinner" was not the right answer :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 My penis is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.
Utalk Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 Liverpool have turned down a 50m bid from Chelsea to sign club legend racism saying he is Liverpool through and through and not for sale at any price.
Sid Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 My wife just caught me blow drying my penis and she asked what was i doing, apparently "heating up your dinner" was not the right answer :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: My penis is so polite' date=' it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 I feel sorry for the bloke who hand-cuffed himself to the goal post at the Man City game. All he wanted was some Kompany :haha:
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