punjabiplaya Posted February 21, 2012 Author Posted February 21, 2012 A wise man once told me ' ignore anything that comes out of a woman's mouth, unless it needs wiping and putting back in your trousers :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 A wise man once told me ' ignore anything that comes out of a woman's mouth, unless it needs wiping and putting back in your trousers :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :haha:
Nova Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 I went for a testicle check up last week. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls & said' date=' "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure" I said "I haven't got an erection" She said "No, but I have !"[/quote'] :haha:
Prakat Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 His dick is so tiny that his wife thinks they are lesbians.
1983-2011 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 My boss just asked, "do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here." "Yeah no problem, I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends." "Ok, when do you think you'll get here then?" "Monday."
1983-2011 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Roberto Mancini, Alex Ferguson and Harry Redknapp are in a pub drinking when after several rounds Arsene Wegner walks in Aresene: Can i join in the drinking? Harry: No you can't! Arsene: Ha ha, i have heard this joke, it's because i'm not in the next round! Harry: No. It's cause your a French ****
1983-2011 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 "I want to be a billionaire. Just like my dad!" "Wow, your dad's billionaire?" "No, but he always wanted to be."
1983-2011 Posted February 24, 2012 Posted February 24, 2012 Why do married Indian women have that red dot on their forehead? they're recording everything!
Prakat Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 One fine day in London, a construction worker was found dead on the pavement in front of the building he was working on. The London police, after sending the body to the morgue, searched the construction site for possible witnesses or friends of the dead man. They looked all over and finally found two Pakistanis on the top floor of the building. The cops asked them if they knew anything worth sharing about the dead man. "Well, we don't know much about him but we do know that he was French and he had two @ssholes." "How on earth did you find that out?" "Well, everyday after work we would go to the local pub for a beer. And as soon as we entered the bartender would shout, "Here comes the Frenchman with the two @ssholes!"
1983-2011 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 "It's a boy!" I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel.
1983-2011 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Dad: you changed your relationship status to 'its complicated'. Son: yeah? Whats it to you? Dad: what. You cant decide which hand to use?
1983-2011 Posted February 27, 2012 Posted February 27, 2012 Lesbian: Just another damn woman trying to do a man's job.
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Kids know far too much these days. Today in the doctors waiting room I saw a little girl playing with her Barbie & Ken dolls imitating the doggy position. I bent down and told her 'You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that. 'She replied 'I don't think so, he's doing her up the ar*e'
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total boll*cks" I replied. By text, from across the road...
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Wife came home from work to find husband sitting watching the football. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football. You think about nothing else" she said. "I'm also seeing someone else. He's younger than you, handsome, tender, understanding, treats me like a queen, does anything I ask, has a 9 inch co*k and fecks me every day hard and dirty till I cant take anymore." "Really?" the husband replied, "what team does he support?"
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Just heard on the Radio that the Leader of the Monkees has died, R.I.P. Nelson Mandela I couldn't believe the news that Davey Jones of 'The Monkees' had died.... But then i saw his face, now i'm a bereaver.
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Funny old game football...... but i purpose its still the only way to buy and sell ni*gers legally
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 I can't wait for tomorrow. It's come to work in a bra and knickers day. Well, that's what we've told the new hot apprentice
Tendulkar_Bhai Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train. The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from." Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from." Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train....
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