punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Who is the Hindu Goddess of Hair? Kondishna
punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 How can you tell if a paki girl is a virgin? She can run faster than her brothers. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 I'm beginning to think the Chinese lottery is fixed. Same fecker seems to win every time!
punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 A man on his way home from the pub decides to take a short-cut through an unlit park. A woman approaches him and offers to feck his brains out for £5. The man thinks to himself that this is a chance too good to miss, so hands over the £5. She leads him into a bush and they get under way. A policeman happens to pass by, hears them at it and notices the bush shaking. He approaches, shines his torch on the pair and asks the man what he's doing. The man replies calmly, "I'm just having sex with my wife, officer. Do you mind?" The officer responds, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realise it was your wife." The man quickly replies, "That's quite alright, officer - until you shone your torch on her face, neither did I
Sid Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 A man on his way home from the pub decides to take a short-cut through an unlit park. A woman approaches him and offers to feck his brains out for Ž£5. The man thinks to himself that this is a chance too good to miss, so hands over the Ž£5. She leads him into a bush and they get under way. A policeman happens to pass by, hears them at it and notices the bush shaking. He approaches, shines his torch on the pair and asks the man what he's doing. The man replies calmly, "I'm just having sex with my wife, officer. Do you mind?" The officer responds, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realise it was your wife." The man quickly replies, "That's quite alright, officer - until you shone your torch on her face, neither did I :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 I walked up to a fat chick sat at the bar, alone. "I've been watching you all night" I winked, "And I have to say, I'm impressed." "Really?" she giggled. "Oh yes," I replied. "Not many people can eat 34 bags of cheese and onion crisps in one sitting."
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife,then asked "is this your wife sir?" Shocked I said "yes" They said"I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus" I said"I know,but she has a lovely personality and she's good with the dog"
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 Police raided kermits lily pad last night and found hundreds of naked pictures of miss piggy. They say it's the worst case of frogs porn they've ever seen.
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 A copper comes across a pis*ed up Paddy crawling along a railway track. Copper says" what the feck are you doing ?" Paddy looks up and says. "Oh thank feck for that can you help me off this fecking ladder"!
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 After getting sent to jail ........ Amir spent the whole hour being held face down over a table and getting violently buggered in d ass. Sometimes I think his uncle salman takes monopoly a bit too seriously........
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 As soon as it happened we could all tell something was seriously wrong, the ground fell silent and we just watched as it unfolded. Some of the fans were crying and holding each other. The rest just couldn't believe it was happening" said Di Matteo after Fernando Torres scored.
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 A SARDAR buys the new car Automatic BMW X6 sport. He drives the car perfectly well during the day,but at night the car just wont move. he tries driving the car at night for a week but no luck. He then furiously calls the BMW dealers and they send out a technician to him. The technician asks''Sir, are you sure you are using the right gears?? Full of anger Sardar replies ''you fool, idiot man, how you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid! I use D for the Day and N for the night !
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 I went to the pub last night and there was this fat girl dancing on a table. I walked passed and said "Fecking amazing legs" The girl giggled and said with a smile "Do you really think so" I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now"!!l
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 My wife said I make love like a painter. I said "What, like Da Vinci, smooth strokes, attention to detail and the result a masterpiece?" She said "No, like the council. Rush the job, leave a fecking mess and I have to finish it myself!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over. "Out of the way!" I shouted, as I pushed through the crowd. "Are you a doctor?" one woman screamed. "No" I replied, "The fecker was delivering my pizza
punjabiplaya Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 My next door neighbour's back garden is like a fecking jungle. It's not overgrown.. He just keeps inviting his black mates round for a barbecue
gaurav92 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 A SARDAR buys the new car Automatic BMW X6 sport. He drives the car perfectly well during the day' date='but at night the car just wont move. he tries driving the car at night for a week but no luck. He then furiously calls the BMW dealers and they send out a technician to him. The technician asks''Sir, are you sure you are using the right gears?? Full of anger Sardar replies ''you fool, idiot man, how you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid! I use D for the Day and N for the night ![/quote'] :cantstop:
shubham45 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over. "Out of the way!" I shouted, as I pushed through the crowd. "Are you a doctor?" one woman screamed. "No" I replied, "The fecker was delivering my pizza :omg::omg:
velu Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Man with 3 Girlfriends There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, being a man he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
gaurav92 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 WTF! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Recommended Posts