punjabiplaya Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 Johnathon Ross has been arrested after saying "Christmas is a good time to put wogs on the fire"
Utalk Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 That overrated hack Umar gets humiliated. Great set up by the young kid.
punjabiplaya Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 A woman was in bed having sex with her husband's friend, when all of a sudden the telephone rings, she answers. After hanging up she says, ''That was Harry, but don't worry, he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you.''
punjabiplaya Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 How did Pinocchio discover that he was made of wood?His right hand caught fire.
punjabiplaya Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 One day Mr. Smith, the president of a corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire." The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache." :hysterical:
Sid Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 How did Pinocchio discover that he was made of wood?His right hand caught fire. One day Mr. Smith, the president of a corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire." The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache." :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 I walked into the dentists the other day and asked how much it would cost to have a wisdom tooth removed. "Forty quid," the dentist said. "That's a ridiculous amount," I said. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist said, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock the price down to 30 pounds." I complained, "That's still far too expensive!" "Okay," said the dentist. "If I save on time and simply rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to 10 pounds." "Nope," I moaned, "it's still too much." "Well," said the dentist finally, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it using pliers, I suppose I can knock the price down to a fiver." "Marvelous!" I said. "Book my wife in for next Tuesday!"
punjabiplaya Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 My paki friend must be really, really drunk bless him. He's just ripped open his jacket and started counting down from ten.... It's not even midnight yet. :--D
seedhi Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 My paki must be really, really drunk bless him. He's just ripped open his jacket and started counting down from ten.... It's not even midnight yet. :--D:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Tiger-Don Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Asian pregnancy test: Put an unsolved Rubiks cube into an asians vagina. If it comes out solved, shes pregnant.
suraj Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Asian pregnancy test: Put an unsolved Rubiks cube into an asians vagina. If it comes out solved' date=' shes pregnant.[/quote'] :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 The man with the recent hand transplant has just been caught shoplifting in Tesco.........turns out the donor was a scouser !!!!! :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Asif was telling me hes been in an abusive relationship for almost 4 years now. Posessive, controlling, full of manipualtion, emotional distress, and even some physical violence. but it's for her own good he told me!! :finger:
punjabiplaya Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 "Jump in and I'll take you home," I said to my dwarf neighbour, who was sat at the bus stop today. "Piss off!" he replied. "Suit yourself then," I said, as I straightened up my backpack and continued with my walk. :hysterical::hysterical:
Sidhoni Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother ****er! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your p*ssy before the end of the day!"
Crookbond Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Sardar on phone: ye kahan ka number hai? Inspector: police station ka. Santa: Aap k paas kya hai? Insp: Danda. Sardar: G***D mein daal lo. Ye bol ke phone rakh diya. Inspector ne caller ID se phone number liya aur usi number pe call lagaya. Sardar ka father ne uthaya. Inspector: yahan se ek phone aaya tha. Mujh se bola aap ke pass danda hai to G***D mein daal lo Father: kitni der pehle phone aaya tha? Insp: 10 min pehle. Father: Toh ab nikaal lo. :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother ****er! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your p*ssy before the end of the day!" :cantstop:
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