SLICKR392 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My girlfriend said that when we have sex I remind her of Al Pacino in Scarface. I said you mean where he says "I'm Tony Montana! You feck with me, you feckin' with the best!" She said no, "Say hello to my little friend". :--D :hysterical::hysterical:
SLICKR392 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that." "Fine," I said, "I want to die when Tottenham win the premier league." "You crafty fecker!" said the fairy :cantstop:
SLICKR392 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 18 year old Paki girl writing to an agony aunt in a teen magazine: Dear Deirdre, I am a 18 year old Pakistani girl and I am still a virgin, do you think my brothers are gay? Whats the most confusing day for black kids? Fathers day. LMFAO
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Paddy says to Mick...."I can't remember the name of that historical Greek film Brad Pitt was in "Troy." said Mick . Paddy : " I feckin am but I still can't remember!! "
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 L'Wren Scott, girlfriend of Mick Jagger has been found dead after apparently committing suicide. "He is too upset to comment", said his new girlfriend. :haha:
kumar713 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 "Why the feck are you staring at my head?" asked some guy in the pub last night. I said, "I'm checking out the hair." "But, I'm completely bald." he replied. I said, "I'm talking about mine." :--D :haha:
kumar713 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife, but accidently called the cricket stadium. He asks, “How’s the situation ?†He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply. They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck ! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 I rang up my health centre and said, "I'd like to make an appointment to see the doctor about my dyslexia." "Certainly," said the receptionist. "What's your name please?" I said, "Mr. Kulczycki." She said, "Can you spell that for me?" I said, "No." :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 My girlfriend left me for a midget the other day. This broke my heart - I couldn't believe she would stoop so low. :finger:
punjabiplaya Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 Standing in a queue, a little Chinese man cuts in... "Hey you!" I shout. Startled, the Chinese man turns around and says "How you know my name?" :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 Women fecking drivers! I was behind one on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? She actually turns left! How am I supposed to prepare myself with these fecking mind games? apologies in advance to female posters on icf :--D
punjabiplaya Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 I'm baffled as to why the gays are so thrilled about being allowed to marry. I've spent the last 15 years wishing I hadn't been allowed to!!!!! :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 I see Vladimir Putin says his divorce was amicable. It must have been. She's still alive. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. Which is troublesome because intelligent men don't get into relationships. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Boss 2 Secratery:- Main aur Tum 1 week ke liye London jaa rahe hai, Secratery 2 her Husband:- Office ke kaam se mujhe Boss ke sath 1 week London jana hai.. Husband 2 his GF:- Meri Wife 1 week ke liye bahar jaa rahi hai, tum ghar aa jana... GF jo teacher hai, Students se:- Bachcho main 1 week ke liye bahar jaa rahi hu, isliye 1 week ki chhutti... Student apne Dad se jo Boss hai:- Dad meri 1 week ki chhutti hai, main ghar aa raha hu, hum sath rahenge... Boss 2 Secratery:- Mera Beta aa raha hai, tour cancel... Secratery 2 Husband:- Office tour cancel... Hsbnd 2 Teacher GF:- Wife nahi jaa rahi.. Programe cancel... Teacher 2 Students:- Bachcho, Chhutti cancel... Student 2 Dad:- nahi aa sakta, meri chhutti cancel ho gayi... Boss 2 Secratery:- Mera Beta nahi aa raha, hum 1 week London jaa rahe hai... :cantstop: Deadlock in multithreading
punjabiplaya Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Teacher: Name different type of Cheese. Banta: 1. White, 2. Cottage, 3. Mozarella 4. Cheddar 5. Swiss blue & 6. Bekhudi. 7. Zindagi Teacher: Wait a min... what is 'Bekhudi' and 'Zindagi' ?? Banta: Hoshwalon ko khabar kya, 'Bekhudi' kya cheese hai... ishq kije phir samjhiye Zindagi kya cheese hai.. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Height of blank call Hello pooja hai...? Nahi... :--DTo karvalo... Jai Mata Di !!!!
punjabiplaya Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller :haha::haha:
punjabiplaya Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 Questions: “Why Do Men Wear Underwear?” Answer: “As Per Military Rules, All Types Of Weapons Should Be Kept Covered During Peace Time“
punjabiplaya Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms? A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops
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