punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 On a serious note. a chinese roommate we had for a while smelled like fish. He would never take bath. I have properties and few years back in one of my props had some chineese students there, they stunk the kitchen out and the walls were yellow,when they went we had to completely redo the kitchen and throw the cooker away... The worst were some ghanians and one paki guy...i dont know wtf they used to cook but i went in for 2 seconds walked straight back out and was nearly sick,the stink was vile!!!! Hate to think what they stunk of????? Any issues used to send my dad :cantstop: got 4 lovely student girls there now..lovely!! :two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 I was starting my new job at the chemist this morning when some bloke walked in. "I've got a blocked nose, a sore throat and my head feels like it's going to explode." he said, "Have you got anything?" I said, "No mate, I feel fine."
punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 My wife has become so fat, I said to her "You are starting to look like my ex-wife". "But you only have ever been married to me". She replied "Yes, I know" :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 My 14 year old son came up to me the other day and asked if I could give him advice on pulling nice babes. "Don't ask me", I said. "Look at the state of your mother for feck's sake". :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 I walked up to this woman in a bar the other night "You're a feminist, aren't you?" i said to her amazed she said "Yes, yes I am, but how'd you know?" so I told her "I can see your armpit hair from the other side of he room you fat, ugly cow".
punjabiplaya Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 I have built a room full of mirrors at my house. I like to go there and spend time reflecting :--D
punjabiplaya Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 My girlfriend told me her favourite position is doggy style. I said "I'm right behind you on that one." :--D
punjabiplaya Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 Abdul was beaming .."whats up? " i asked..."why you looking so smug n happy?" I had no idea my ex-girlfriend thought I was so well hung said Abdul I've just received a certificate in the post that says, "biggest pr*ck in England". :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 I call my penis genius. All the girls want to have a stroke of it. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 A police-woman pulled me over today. SHe said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I replied, "Because you wanted to try S&M on me?" "Put the handcuffs on."She snapped. "See, I knew it!" :--D
beetle Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I was confused when I read one of the girl's facebook status as, "Bang Bang tomorrow night"... Feeling Excited! - With Rahul and 12 others... I was more confused when her next status was ..haider was better :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Prince Harry has confessed his deepest fear is public speaking. I'd have thought Kate and William's unborn baby being born with ginger hair would have been higher, personally :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Your c*ck reminds me of a computer" said my girlfriend. "What plenty of RAM?" I asked "No Microsoft" she replied
punjabiplaya Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Thousands of protesters in Hong Kong wore masks and goggles to avoid being identified by Police. and the point of the masks was? :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he's asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home. :--D
punjabiplaya Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 "I think your problem is that you read into things too deeply," my therapist said. "You find signs and meaning where there isn't any. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" "I think I do," I said, as I started unzipping my pants. :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 My black neighbour says his son's death came as a huge shock. I said, "Car accident?" "Electric chair." He replied.
punjabiplaya Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 You have to hand it to Lesbians, they make some great films. :two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 A girl goes into the doctor's for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we sh*g," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we shag," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Washington. Why?" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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