punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 French foreplay : Dinner , wine , Sex !. Italian foreplay : Dinner , wine , dancing , Sex !. . . . Latino foreplay : Dinner . Wine , dancing , caressing . Sex ! . . . . . . English foreplay : Oi...You awake
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 2 irish men park their car, shut the door then realise they have locked the keys inside. Paddy says, 'we could get a coat hanger and try to unlock it or prise the door open'. Murph said, 'well watever we do, we better hurry, its starting to rain and the fecking tops still down'!
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 I spent some time by the wìfe's grave today. She doesn't know, She thinks I'm digging a pond..!
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They said "is this your wife sir?". Shocked I answered " yes". They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident". I said "I know but she has a lovely personality". :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 While in a hotel room, a man tells a hooker, "I've never eaten a woman out before..." The hooker says, "No problem...go ahead!" The man eats her out for awhile then pulls his haed back, and pulls a piece of carrot out of his mouth. He doesn't want to embarass himself, so he says nothing and keeps on eating. A little while later he pulls back again, only to spit out a pea. Once again...He says nothing. The third time, he stops eating her out and pulls his head back and spits a small piece of potato into his hand. He has to ask her, " Are you sick or something?" The hooker replies, "No...but the last guy was..."
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Newsflash:45 people have been glued to the floor in dublin train station after an irish muslim set off a no more nails bomb
punjabiplaya Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh & Simon Cowell are walking along the street when Cheryl trips, falls forward and jams her head in some railings. Simon, quick as a flash pulls her knickers down, and bangs her senseless from behind. Slapping her tight little ass he turns to Louis and says "Your turn" Louis starts crying. "What's wrong?" says Simon. Louis sobs "My head wont fit in the railings!"
Roshanrocks Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
kooljatt Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 This thread should be titled punjabi playa thread...his jokes r too funny man !
kooljatt Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 John was going out with Wendy and he loved her so much that he wanted to get her name tattooed on his penis. When it was erect it spelled "Wendy" but when limp it said "W Y". After their wedding day they went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. One day they went to the beach and Bob went to the public restroom. At the urinal next to him was this tall Jamaican man. Bob looked over the urinal divider, noticed the letters "W Y" on the Jamaican's unerect penis and he asked him, "Oh, is your girlfriend's name Wendy too?" The big Jamaican man looked at him and said, "No, man! Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!'"
kooljatt Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?' The doctor replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'
kooljatt Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 A furious pounding in a hotel room late at night awakened a number of guests. The hotel manager was called, and he let himself into the room. Inside, he found an elderly man cursing and banging away on the wall with both fists. "Stop that!" the manager ordered. "You're disturbing the whole hotel." "Damn the hotel!" the eldery man spat. "It's the first erection I've had in years, and both my hands are asleep."
punjabiplaya Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Took a bird home after night clubbing last night. After a few drinks at mine we went up stairs. While we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said. I hope thats not that fat b*tch from last week. The bird said what the feck was that. I said its that bast*rd memory foam mattress
punjabiplaya Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue he sees a building on fire & rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up, I'm Paddy John Dara O'Neill, an Irish rugby player, jump & i'll catch ya. A girl jumps out & Paddy catches her, a guy jumps & Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps & Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up, Come on now folks,dont feck about there's no point throwin down the burnt ones!!
punjabiplaya Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 Zookeeper says to Paki "The Gorilla is on heat & we need someone 2 have sex with it. Would u consider shagging it 4 £5OO?" Paki replies "I will on 3 conditions' 1st i'm not kissin it, 2nd my family must never know & 3rd i'll need a couple of weeks 2 get the cash together.
Dark Warrior Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue he sees a building on fire & rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up, I'm Paddy John Dara O'Neill, an Irish rugby player, jump & i'll catch ya. A girl jumps out & Paddy catches her, a guy jumps & Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps & Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up, Come on now folks,dont feck about there's no point throwin down the burnt ones!! Zookeeper says to Paki "The Gorilla is on heat & we need someone 2 have sex with it. Would u consider shagging it 4 £5OO?" Paki replies "I will on 3 conditions' 1st i'm not kissin it' date=' 2nd my family must never know & 3rd i'll need a couple of weeks 2 get the cash together.[/quote'] :hysterical:
Sid Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Zookeeper says to Paki "The Gorilla is on heat & we need someone 2 have sex with it. Would u consider shagging it 4 £5OO?" Paki replies "I will on 3 conditions' 1st i'm not kissin it' date=' 2nd my family must never know & 3rd i'll need a couple of weeks 2 get the cash together.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabi_khota Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue he sees a building on fire & rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up, I'm Paddy John Dara O'Neill, an Irish rugby player, jump & i'll catch ya. A girl jumps out & Paddy catches her, a guy jumps & Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps & Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up, Come on now folks,dont feck about there's no point throwin down the burnt ones!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue he sees a building on fire & rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up, I'm Paddy John Dara O'Neill, an Irish rugby player, jump & i'll catch ya. A girl jumps out & Paddy catches her, a guy jumps & Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps & Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up, Come on now folks,dont feck about there's no point throwin down the burnt ones!! Zookeeper says to Paki "The Gorilla is on heat & we need someone 2 have sex with it. Would u consider shagging it 4 £5OO?" Paki replies "I will on 3 conditions' 1st i'm not kissin it' date=' 2nd my family must never know & 3rd i'll need a couple of weeks 2 get the cash together.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sachinism Posted October 28, 2010 Posted October 28, 2010 I don't think this world wide recession would be so bad if we had some kind of centre for the world to trade goods with each other. Why has no-one else thought of this?
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