mhr123 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I walked past a house today that was on fire, six paki's were hanging out the window screaming ''SAVE US'' ''SAVE US'', so i did!....... as my new screensaver... :hysterical::hysterical:
Sachinism Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
EnterTheVoid Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer. :hysterical:
DomainK Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 A man asked his wife if she will go fishing with him and his dng wife said theres no way i'm goin fishing with you man gives her 3 choice go fishing,give him a blowjob or take it up the ass the wife gives him a blowlob and says your c*ck tastes of sh*t man replied i know the dog doesn't want to go either
punjabiplaya Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. ' When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that ' s amazing! ' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions? ' The Irishman nodded...'I ' ll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t' aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day. ' 'From the hunger, you mean? ' asked the doctor. ' No, from the feckin ' skippin '.
punjabiplaya Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Went to the doctors today and he told me that i'm a paranoid racist.... Well, he didn't actually say that but i knew the black Paki b*stard was thinking it!
Sachinism Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well she's not actually my girlfriend yet. --- I bumped in to a homeless guy the other day. He asked me if I could spare any change. I stopped and looked at him and said, "In my left hand I have a tenner, in my right hand I have a pound, which do you want?" He replied, "I'll have the tenner." "No you ****ing won't," I said, shaking my head. "Why not?" responded the unfortunate chap. "Because beggars can't be choosers."
punjabiplaya Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 A husband and wife were sitting watching TV, when he turned to his wife and said... "Babe, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time." She said ... "You've got the biggest c*ck out of all your mates.
punjabiplaya Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 The Paki's prayer. Our father who art in Bolton, Patel be thy name. Thy curry cum, thy stinging bum, on earth as it is in Oldham. Give us this day our daily Naan and forgive us our smell and help those who smell us. Lead us not into employment, but deliver us all benefits, for thine is the prayer mat, the Nissan Almera, forever and ever. Ahmed.
Sid Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 A husband and wife were sitting watching TV, when he turned to his wife and said... "Babe, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time." She said ... "You've got the biggest c*ck out of all your mates. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Dark Warrior Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I really look up to my dad, he taught me so much when i was younger, For example how to swim, he never gave up on me. Really pushing me to my limits to make sure i did the best possible. One morning he took me out onto the lake, and threw me in the water, so i swam back to the bank. So he takes me out a little further and throws me out as before, and again i swim to the bank. We continue this through the afternoon until he i end up being able to swim the entire length of the lake. To be honest i was proud of myself for not giving up, i just didn't really understand the part where he tied me in a sack......
Dark Warrior Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 For Delhites: Did u know the cabinet bent u over & ****ed u from behind yesterday? They approved 360kms of BRT in Delhi.
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 What have audley harrison and michael jackson got in common?.... Both wore gloves for no reason!
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 So I was at a nightclub last night when a girl walked up to me and asked me: "So whats your favourite hobby?" I replied: "I like to put my fingers up skirts to move some lips" And before I knew it she threw her drink over my face stupid bit*h didn't realise that I am a ventriliquist. :winky:
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 A couple driving home in the rain and sleet, ran over a rabbit. The woman got out of the car and picked it up. She said, its still alive but it's freezing cold. Her husband said, put it between your legs and warm it up. She replied but its wet and it stinks. He said, well hold the ****ing rabbits nose then. :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Guy hires a hit man to kill his wife of 40yrs. Hitman says "It will take 1 shot just below her left tit" Husband says "I want her dead not feckin kneecapped!"
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 I've heard that supermarkets secretly waft the smell of their bakery around the store to encourage you to buy bread. I can only come to the conclusion that my local paki shop is trying to sell more toilet rolls
punjabiplaya Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 mohammed amir new job application Local chicken farmer is hiring staff for x-mas. Paying £9.50hr. Told him about all amirs experience handling cocks. he starts monday!
EnterTheVoid Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 A husband and wife were sitting watching TV, when he turned to his wife and said... "Babe, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time." She said ... "You've got the biggest c*ck out of all your mates. ****ing brilliant :rotfl:
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