jokes

[Sachin=GOD]

the wife has done nothing but look through the window since it started snowing. Do you think I should let her in ?

:haha::haha::haha::haha:

[gaurav92]

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. At the gates of heaven, St. Peter asks the girls whether they have ever had any contact with a penis... The first girl giggles and says she once touched the tip of one with her finger. Peter asks the girl to dip the finger into the holy water. The next girl says she once fondled one, so sticks her hand in the holy water. Suddenly there is a commotion and one girl pushes to the front. 'Jenny, what's the rush?' asks Peter. She replies 'I want to gargle that holy water before Kathy sticks her ass in it' :haha:

A 13 year old boy came home all happy, so his mum asked him, "what did u learn in school today?" "Oh, I had sex with my teacher", he replied. The mother began to scream and yell. She sent him to his room until his father returned. When he got back, the mother sent him to talk to his son. He asked his son what happened in school, so his son told him. The dad responded, "Son, I'm so proud of u! I'm going to get that bicycle you've wanted." They go out and buy the bicycle and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home. So his son replied "Nah dad, my bum is still sore."

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[punjabiplaya]

At least after the 2022 World Cup, Qatar will have some cracking stadiums to stone women in. :hysterical:

[Sachinism]

The gorgeous woman from next door popped round today and said,"Hello handsome, are you free tonight?" I said, "Er... wow... yes, yes I am." She said, "Brilliant, can you watch my daughter while I go out?" Ah well, when one door closes, another one opens. -- After England were stitched up by FIFA in the World Cup bid,we should follow Scotland and Wales example and just refuse to even try to qualify in future.

[punjabiplaya]

Just got home and all the fecking windows and doors were open, everything gone!! What kind of sick bast*rd does that to someones advent calender!!

[punjabiplaya]

went out with a retarded girl once who would not swallow my cum.............so i just spunked on the window and let nature take its course

[Sachin=GOD]

At least after the 2022 World Cup, Qatar will have some cracking stadiums to stone women in. :hysterical:

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[punjabiplaya]

A womans dog is drowning in the sea. A passing german midget jumps in pulls the dog out and recussitates it back to life. The gratefull woman says "are u a little vet?" The german replies"a little vet? Im fecking soaked! :hysterical::hysterical:

[Sid]

A womans dog is drowning in the sea. A passing german midget jumps in pulls the dog out and recussitates it back to life. The gratefull woman says "are u a little vet?" The german replies"a little vet? Im fecking soaked! :hysterical::hysterical:

:haha:

[punjabiplaya]

Fed up paki reluctantly buys his ungrateful wife a car for xmas "i dont like it she moans, i want somthing that goes from 0 to 140 in 3 seconds di*khead". He comes back with a set of bathroom scales "stand on that then you fat cow"!

[punjabiplaya]

If you pass the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years hard labour. If you pass the Afghan border illegally, you get shot. If you pass the British border illegally, you get:- - a job - a driver's licience - a place to live - housing benefit - health care - education - child benefit

[punjabiplaya]

What do you call a Paki in a mobile phone shop? Tariff. What do you call a schizophrenic Paki? Mahmood Swingh. What do you call a Paki Elvis impersonator? Amal Shukup. What do you call a Paki who is standing in the middle of the road? An opportunity!! :cantstop:

[Ram]

Fed up paki reluctantly buys his ungrateful wife a car for xmas "i dont like it she moans' date=' i want somthing that goes from 0 to 140 in 3 seconds di*khead". He comes back with a set of bathroom scales "stand on that then you fat cow"![/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical:

[kooljatt]

A woman married a one legged man. . She wrote to her mother: "My husband only has ONE FOOT". . Her Mother replied: "You are lucky, your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES."

[kooljatt]

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

[kooljatt]

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values. At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?" He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar." The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."

[kooljatt]

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?" The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast."

[gaurav92]

Lolz Kooljatt :giggle:

[Sachinism]

I slipped on some ice today. When I got up I realised my keys, wallet and phone were gone. Must have been black ice

[punjabiplaya]

Christmas time, cocaine and wine, children indulging in serious crime. With Dad on the weed, and Mum high on crack. Chrismas is magic when your family is black!