jokes

[punjabiplaya]

Theres a man going round whos using a flame thrower to kill black people The police don't have a name so for now they are calling him arnold scorchanigger

[punjabiplaya]

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.The driver got out and he was a dwarf.He said, "I'm not happy."I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

[punjabiplaya]

A prostitute told me I could have sex for £10 as she didn't have a womb!! I asked how we would do it then. She said 'acwoss the woad against the wailings'...

[punjabiplaya]

Some Adverts are so far fetched. I've just seen the windows phone add, where a white guy is standing at a urinal next to a black guy who say's 'really' after the white guys drops his phone in the p*ss. Now if that was real life, the black guy would have caught it and been out of the door before it had even hit the p*ss.

[Laaloo]

Theres a man going round whos using a flame thrower to kill black people The police don't have a name so for now they are calling him arnold scorchanigger

:haha:

[punjabiplaya]

Man went to the doctors complaining of strange voices coming from his pants. The doc said "ignore them, they're talking boll*cks "

[punjabiplaya]

The correct insurance companies of sex........ Sex with your wife - Legal & General. Sex with your future wife - Mutual Trust. Sex with your secretary - Employers Liability. Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union. Sex on the telephone - Direct Line. Sex with your biographer - Quote me happy. Sex in a hurry - Insure & Go. Sex with your boyfriend - Standard Life. Sex with a transvestite - Confused.com Sex with someone different - Go compare.com

[punjabiplaya]

In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire, lives a woman called Linda Lykes, she is the landlady of the local pub, The Cockwell Inn, for some unknown reason she gets embarrassed whenever she receives her post... Linda Lykes The Cockwell Inn Erbum Tillet Herts

[kooljatt]

In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire, lives a woman called Linda Lykes, she is the landlady of the local pub, The Cockwell Inn, for some unknown reason she gets embarrassed whenever she receives her post... Linda Lykes The Cockwell Inn Erbum Tillet Herts

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Jadoo]

Christmas time' date=' cocaine and wine, children indulging in serious crime. With Dad on the weed, and Mum high on crack. Chrismas is magic when your family is black![/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[punjabiplaya]

Heather Mills mum & dad have bought her a new leg for Christmas......it's not her main present, it's just a stocking filler :)

[punjabiplaya]

met this bloke with a didgeridoo the other day and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal

[punjabiplaya]

I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping. I took my girlfriend into 8 different pubs without a drink, and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

[punjabiplaya]

What happened to the hyena who swallowed an oxo cube? . . . . He made a laughing stock of himself.

[punjabiplaya]

What happened to the hyena who swallowed an oxo cube? . . . . He made a laughing stock of himself.

[punjabiplaya]

frankie boyle said... Rejected ideas for Windows 7 advertising Hi i'm Kate McCann and leaving windows open was my idea......... Hi i'm Joseph Fritzl and not having windows was my idea.......... Hi i'm Harvey Price and licking windows was my idea...........

[Dark Warrior]

An American, a Britisher and an Indian went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their " freedom. " As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Britisher quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Indian covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the American and the Britisher asked the Indian why he covered his face rather than his private parts. The Indian replied, " I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize". :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[punjabiplaya]

Two pakis are standing on the edge of a cliff when suddenly a strong gust of wind blows them both off and they fall to their deaths. One is wearing traditional paki robes and the other is dressed in normal Western clothes.Which one hits the ground first? Who gives a feck?

[punjabiplaya]

A group of primary school infants go on a trip to Ascot races to learn about horses. When it's time to take the children to the toilet it is decided that the girls will go with one teacher and the boys with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys is waiting outside when one of the boys comes out to tell her that none of them can reach the urinal. Having no choice, she goes inside and helps the boys with their pants and begins hoisting the boys up one by one holding their willies to direct the flow. As she lifts one boy she can't help but notice that he is unusually well endowed. Trying not to stare she says "You must be in Year Four". "No love" he replies, "I'm riding Silver Shadow in the 2.15!" :haha:

[punjabiplaya]

Went to disco last night they played 'the twist' so i twisted. They played ' jump' so i jumped then they played cum on eileen' & i was kicked out after that...