punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2011 Author Posted February 3, 2011 Lady posts an ad in the paper. . . . . . lookin 4 a man that wont beat me or run away but who is great in bed". Next day the doorbell goes "Hi I'm Bob, I've no arms-so I'll never hit u, I've no legs so I wont run away" The lady says "what makes u think ur so great in bed?" Bob replies "how d'ya think I rang the doorbell!! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 2beggars in Dublin. 1 gets about €2per day while other gets a suitcase full of tenners eryday & drives a mercedes. Karim says to habib ''what is it i'm doing wrong?'' Habib replies ''its your sign. Yours reads i have no work a wife and 6 kids to support. Mine reads i only need another tenner to get back to pakistan'
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 The girlfriend asked me,"Why dont we make love like they do in films?" So I bent her over, fecked her up the ass & spu*ked all over her face and then I wiped my co*k on her boobs... Turns out we don't watch the same films!
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 The police pulled a black man over. After extensive investigations they ascertained he owned the Mercedes he was driving. He had a job. He didn't have a criminal record. He didn't have any outstanding tickets and the car contained no stolen property. So they booked him for wasting police time.
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 The Post Office has issued a new stamp with a Paki on it for Ethnic Awareness Week. It has caused a lot of confusion as people are unsure what side to spit on.
punjabiplaya Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 My new paki Girlfriend keeps talking about a blow-job.I don’t know whether to get my co*k out or to warn London transport..........
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Midget woman goes to the doctors and says "Doctor I've got an itchy fanny." He lifts up her skirt, gets some scissors & goes snip snip. He asks "Is that better?" "A bit better, but it's still itchy doc." So the doctor lifts her skirt up again. Snip snip snip snip. "Is thatbetter" "Yes," the midget replies, "fantastic what did you do doctor?" The doctor replies "I Cut the fur off the top of your Ugg boots." :D
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.She looked OK for a 61 year-old.In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.We drank a bit, and had a bit of a cuddle and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.'What's that?' I asked.It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.I said, 'No,' - excitedly.We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.I went back to her place.She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Why did the Grammer teacher slap Santa's Son? Because he asked: Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items n PANTIES Plural when it Covers one item?
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 WALLET SCAM WARNING! In ASDA, whilst packing shopping into the car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18 year old Eastern European girls in tight, tiny tops. They wash your screen with their ti*s up against the window and ask for a lift to the next ASDA as payment. On the way they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other. One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts to steal your wallet! I had mine stolen last Thursday Friday, Saturday, Twice on Sunday and once again today so BE CAREFUL! PS You can buy wallets for 99P in poundstretchers.
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Ancestry.com - Pakistan's number one dating and matrimonial site. :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Gary Neville walks into old trafford with a bag in his hand, the security guard asks ''what's in the bag Gary'' Neville says ''a gun and some hand grenades'' security guard replies ''thank feck 4 that, i thought you had brought your boots!''
punjabiplaya Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 I went up to this girl, and tried to charm her by saying, "Hi, I was going to tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long. "She said, "Oh what a coincidence, I was going to tell you a joke about my pus*y, but you'll never get it
punjabi_khota Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Ancestry.com - Pakistan's number one dating and matrimonial site. :haha: :haha::haha:
Dark Warrior Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Ancestry.com - Pakistan's number one dating and matrimonial site. :haha: :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Little Johnny was walking home from school with his mum, tellina her about his day..."Mummy, at playtime, I saw Daddy's car go into the woods Aunty Jane was with him".."Oh ",said Mum," carry on".."Then, me and Jack sneaked out and followed them and saw them kissing and..".."Stop!" Said Mum,"Why don't you save your story and tell us all tonight, so Daddy can hear too". So at the table , little Johnny, told them.."I saw Daddy's car go into the woods near school and me and Jack went into the woods. We saw daddy kissing Aunty Jane then they took their clothes off and did that thing what Mummy and Uncle Bob do when Daddy's at work".. Mum fainted.. The moral of this story is; Women should always shut up,listen and let people finish before Feckin interrupting. :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 I met this girl and took her home to meet my parents. My dad whispered to me, "Where the hell did you meet her? She's cross eyed, bald, bow legged and she's got no teeth." I said, "There's no need to whisper Dad, she's deaf."
punjabiplaya Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Had a big row earlier with the Missus & I ended up giving her a clout. I am not proud of that, but half an hour later we ended up having the best make- up sex ever! . . . . . . . . . . . . .Well I did - she's still out cold! :giggle:
Sachinism Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 A variation of my sig Opinions are like d!cks. Its always wrong if a woman has one
Recommended Posts