punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Did you know that in the time it takes to clap your hands somewhere in the world a Paki will die? All together now - "If your happy and you know it......"
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Spent ages driving around a car park looking for a space when I saw a little old lady driving off, I nipped in sharpish and as I parked the car I heard an angry beeping of a horn, looking behind I saw a Paki leaning out of his car window shouting "you can't park there, I've been here an hour". I got out of the car, slammed the door and replied "I've been here all my life, so feck off"
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Sex has gone downhill, so i bought the wife a dildo. She said 'It looks like a giant carrot' ......which is ironic as her fanny looks like a donkey yawning!
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 The paraplegic olympics are being held in london this year, and in order to help visitors the organisers have published a leaflet containing cockney rhyming slang for the disabled. bacon rind = blind canary wharf = dwarf cardinal wolsley = cerebal palsy raspberry ripple = cripple wasps and bees = amputees rubber and plastic = spastic tulips and roses = multiple sclerosis diet pepsi = epilepsy benny and the jets = tourettes
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 A guy hooked up with a girl with OCD (Obsessive-compulsive-disorder) last nite. She told him she was obsessed with doing everything alphabetically. So first they did it an*l, then she gave him a Blowjob, then he licked her Clit, and then he took her Doggie style. Then he got up and got dressed.She shouted, "What about E?" He said, " I've done E sweetheart Ejaculated". Now I'm doin F, G, and H.....Fecking Going Home!!!
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a corner shop, a petrol station , a takeaway, a taxi cab or a doctors practice . If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical support.
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 WOMAN'S ars*s SIZE STUDY. There is a new study about how women feel about their ars*s. The results are pretty interesting: 30% think their ars*s is too fat.. 10% think their ars*s is too skinny. The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world!
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 What is it about ninjas that paki men find so sexy?
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 balle balle balle Never underestimate indian minds: Mr Singh sees a prostitute and asks how much? She says: £50 on the bed, £30 on the sofa, £10 on the floor. Mr Singh gives her £50. She says WOW, on the bed? Mr Singh says no, 5 times on the floor! :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Elton john has congratulated the brave pakis of Great Britain who have decided to host its first gay festival this year. It's hoping 'Ram A Man' will be a big success! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 The wife phoned me and said, 'You better come to the hospital, My mother hasn't got long to live!' I replied 'But city are playing united' She said 'Record it & watch it later' You should have seen her fecking face when I turned up with the camcorder & the tripod!!!!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Two women talking. 'Do you look at your husbands face during sex?' 'I did once but he looked really angry.' 'Why angry?' 'Because he was watching through the window.' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Laaloo Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 balle balle balle Never underestimate indian minds: Mr Singh sees a prostitute and asks how much? She says: £50 on the bed, £30 on the sofa, £10 on the floor. Mr Singh gives her £50. She says WOW, on the bed? Mr Singh says no, 5 times on the floor! :hysterical: The wife phoned me and said, 'You better come to the hospital, My mother hasn't got long to live!' I replied 'But city are playing united' She said 'Record it & watch it later' You should have seen her fecking face when I turned up with the camcorder & the tripod!!!!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Two women talking. 'Do you look at your husbands face during sex?' 'I did once but he looked really angry.' 'Why angry?' 'Because he was watching through the window.' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sid Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 The wife phoned me and said, 'You better come to the hospital, My mother hasn't got long to live!' I replied 'But city are playing united' She said 'Record it & watch it later' You should have seen her fecking face when I turned up with the camcorder & the tripod!!!!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 saw a paki driving a van clearly labelled as carrying explosives, luckily i managed to pull him over and knock feck out of him with my wheel brace before he committed his terrorist outrage. Now i'm being charged with attempted murder, apparently TNT is a parcel delivery company!
punjabiplaya Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 An Australian guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache." The wife, lying in bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow." The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bit*h, you'd realize, I was talking to the sheep.
punjabiplaya Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Try emptying a bag of maltesers on the floor of a weightwatchers meeting for a life sized exciting game of hungry hippos
punjabiplaya Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 6 chat up lines Paddy uses: 1. Did u fart? Coz u just blew me away! 2. R ur parents retarded? Coz ur special! 3. My love 4 u is like diarrhea. I just cant hold it in! 4. Is there a mirror in ur knickers? coz I can c myself in them! 5. Ur body reminds me of a spanner Everytime I think of u my nuts tighten up! 6. U might not b the best lookin girl here but beauty is only a light switch away
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 One good thing about getting older is that multi-tasking becomes easier... You can sneeze, piss, and fart all at the same time!
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 was horrified to find out this afternoon that I've got Pakistani blood. Luckily, it's only a little bit on the front bumper, most of it is under the wheel arches where you can't see it.
Recommended Posts