punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I was in sainsburys and i saw i sign inside saying try something new..so i turned around and went asda instead.
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Little 5 year old daisy, sees a group of workmen turn up next door to build an extension. She takes an interest and starts to talk to them. The builders, with hearts of gold, adopt her as their site mascot. After a week they present her with a pink hard hat and gloves. Even a wage packet with £5. "Goodness", says mummy, smiling, "are you working there next week?" Daisy replies: "I think so Mummy... provided those cun*s at Jewsons deliver the feckin bricks!"
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I bought the mother in law some crotchless nickers for xmas. Nothing sexual, just 2 give her a better grip on her broomstick.
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Skinny white man goes into lift & looks up at this huge black man, who says "before u ask, 7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick and my balls weigh 3lb each, Turner Brown's the name". At which point the white guy faints, when he comes2, he asks the black man to say that again. Black man repeats his stats and says my names "Turner Brown" "Thank feck for that, I thought you said TURN AROUND! old but funny
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Teacher to class: "Children, we are all descendants of Adam and Eve" Pupil: "But Miss, my mummy & daddy said we came from the apes." Teacher: "Stay out of this one Leroy, I'm not talking about your lot."
punjabiplaya Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 The teacher told manjit who is a student frm india to make sentences with his spelling words: 1. Cheese: Maria likes me but cheese ugly. 2. Mushroom: When all my family gets in the car, there isn't mushroom. 3. July: You told me you were going to the store and july to me! Julyer!!! 4. Chicken: I was going to the store with my wife but chicken go by herself. 5. Wheelchair: We only have one soda but it's ok, wheelchair. 6. Chicken Wing: My mom plays the lottery so chicken wing. 7. Liver: A bully was messing with my sister and I told him to liver alone. 8. Budweiser: That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?
Laaloo Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 was horrified to find out this afternoon that I've got Pakistani blood. Luckily, it's only a little bit on the front bumper, most of it is under the wheel arches where you can't see it. Skinny white man goes into lift & looks up at this huge black man, who says "before u ask, 7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick and my balls weigh 3lb each, Turner Brown's the name". At which point the white guy faints, when he comes2, he asks the black man to say that again. Black man repeats his stats and says my names "Turner Brown" "Thank feck for that, I thought you said TURN AROUND! old but funny :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 The teacher told manjit who is a student frm india to make sentences with his spelling words: 1. Cheese: Maria likes me but cheese ugly. 2. Mushroom: When all my family gets in the car, there isn't mushroom. 3. July: You told me you were going to the store and july to me! Julyer!!! 4. Chicken: I was going to the store with my wife but chicken go by herself. 5. Wheelchair: We only have one soda but it's ok, wheelchair. 6. Chicken Wing: My mom plays the lottery so chicken wing. 7. Liver: A bully was messing with my sister and I told him to liver alone. 8. Budweiser: That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly? :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Sardarni in sexy mood offers: I wanna have a wild experience, Tie me up & do whatever u want...excited, Sardarji ties her up & screws the maid...!! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 My mate's shag*ing twins, who both like it up the ass. I asked how do you tell them apart? He said easy, Sally's got massive ti*s and Derek's got a moustache!
Sachin=GOD Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Sardarni in sexy mood offers: I wanna have a wild experience, Tie me up & do whatever u want...excited, Sardarji ties her up & screws the maid...!! :haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 A farmer in Barnsley catches a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts, "Heyoop ****, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watter from theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite!" The bloke says, "I'm from pakistan, can you speak a bit slower?" The farmer replies "Ok , I said if you use two hands you wont spill any."
punjabiplaya Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 "Doctor, I cant stop W*nking over 18 yr old black girls". "Try one of these" says Doc. "What are they" he asks? Doc says, "Nigg*r teen patches!"
Laaloo Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 A farmer in Barnsley catches a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts, "Heyoop ****, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watter from theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite!" The bloke says, "I'm from pakistan, can you speak a bit slower?" The farmer replies "Ok , I said if you use two hands you wont spill any." "Doctor, I cant stop W*nking over 18 yr old black girls". "Try one of these" says Doc. "What are they" he asks? Doc says, "Nigg*r teen patches!" :giggle::giggle::giggle::giggle:
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Ginger bird goes 2 the doctors & says she has a rash on her minge, doctor says, how often do u have sex. She says maybe once or twice a year. Doctor says thats not a rash, its feckin rust.
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 I just had the new McDonalds Christchurch McFlurry... Its like a normal McFlurry but with crushed Kiwi.
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Crockery sale at the emirates.... 60.000 mugs but no cups :hysterical: sorry to you gooners
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Gay man sits next to a scouser in a bar, the gay takes a shine to him tries his luck and asks if he wants a blow job, the scouser knocks him spark out! The barman says "what did he say?" the scouser says "feck knows....something about a job!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 I thought I had just made a lot of money having taken a picture of a black kid with nine fingers on his right hand.Turns out the little bast*rd was eating a kit kat. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 'Walker's' are to add spunk flavour crisps to their range. They will be marketed for women as 'Diet Crisps', as 97% will spit the feckers out
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