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The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread

Predator_05

By Predator_05
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Re: The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread Got this one in my email today. Have bleeped :hic: a few stuff .... So this wifey comes home and is talking to her husband. "Honey guess where I was today the whole day?" "Errr doing shopping I suppose". "True. I was at this auction where they were selling a guy's you know what." "Really? How did that go?" "Well a long one went for 10$ and a thick one for 20$" "Ah okay. And how about the kind that I am?" "Well they were just giving those for free". The hubby is positively pissed. And so he asks the wifey now, "Okay guess where I spent my day today?" "Errr at work?" "No I also went to this auction where they were selling a girls you know what" "Oh Really? How did that go?" "Nice. The nice ones went for 10$ and nice and tight ones went for 20$" "Ah cool..and how about my kind" "Well thats where the auction was held!" xxx

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Re: The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread who is the bravest man on this earth? . . . . . . . Ans: the Dhobhi becoz only he has the guts to say " sahab meinsahab se kehna kapde nikal ke rakhe. mein kal aa raha hoon" __________________________________________________ __________ all electrons were having a party but protons attacked them...... A hero comes & saves them........ they ask who r u.... he says .............. im bond.......... COVALENT BOND __________________________________________________ __________ Man to doc: Is there any way for long life? Doc: Get Married Man: will it help?? Doc: No, but the thought of long life will never come to ur mind __________________________________________________ __________ once santa went 2 gangubai's house... santa knocked da door... ander se aawaj aayi.."kaun ??" santa: "main..." gangubai: "main kaun ??" santa: " tu...? ..gangubai.!!!!.." __________________________________________________ __________ Pyar ke Ikrarar ka intezaar mat kar Fizaon ke badalne ka intezaar mat kar channel badal FTV laga le bachcha ESPN par Sania ke jhukne ka intezaar mat kar __________________________________________________ __________ NADAL ASKS FEDERRER TO COME FOR DINNER.... FEDERRER Comes ..... There were all the fooditems placed and decorated beautifully...... but there was something missing in the menu......what was that.... . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .guess..... . . . . . .its an easy one..... yup.....DAL IS MISSING coz....."NA - DAL" __________________________________________________ __________ Whats the differrence between a chicken and a baby? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Think . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A chicken is the result of a patiently sitting hen whereas a baby is the result of an impatiently standing cock __________________________________________________ __________ When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose. __________________________________________________ __________ A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ? because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae" __________________________________________________ __________ A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote ?DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH! __________________________________________________ __________ Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!". __________________________________________________ __________ A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form he had gone to DELHI for Filling up. U knows y? FORM said ?FILL UP IN CAPITAL ?. __________________________________________________ __________ why is aishwarya's father not a good fuel? why? arre because a good fuel never produces ash.... (please dont kill me) __________________________________________________ __________ Why did the crowd in cric stadium gave Pepsi bottles whn Sachin n Sehwag came 4 battin ????????? ans : Coz' they r OPENERS.. __________________________________________________ __________ What is yellow ,thin and long? >>>>>>>>>>>think>>>>>>>>>> A yellow thread. Now What is black ,thin and long? Ans: Shadow of yellow thread __________________________________________________ __________ Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain. __________________________________________________ __________ manipuri couple: son is born...name him bhai chung bhutia girl is born.....name her bhen chung bhutia then third child is a negro......they name him " kaun hai yeh chootiya " __________________________________________________ __________ Here is a non-veg pj 4 everybody. Ek couple resturant main jaate hai aur CHICKEN BIRYANI order karte hai. __________________________________________________ __________ A question 2 sardar? q1. what is ford? sardar:- gaddi q2. what is oxford? . . sardar:- so simple, bail gaddi __________________________________________________ __________ kid standin outside his house and laughing.man comes and asks y r u laughing?he answers that his mom & dad r fighting.then the man asks who is ur father.the boy replies "usi baat pe to jhagda ho raha hai". __________________________________________________ __________ A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's birthday. As they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note, personal, but not too personal. Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister, he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, howeve the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend got the panties. The guy sent the package to the girlfriend with the following note: I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night. All my love. P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing. __________________________________________________ __________ a kid asks his mom: "mommy, how was i born" mom doesnt want her child to know abt sex and stuff tell him "beta angel brought u here in a blue basket" kid asks " and how was my sister born?" mom says "she was brought in pink basket" kid asks again "and how were u born". mom says "i was brought in purple basket" now kid is furious. he replies "tou hamarey haan chudai wudai ka koi scene naheen hai?" __________________________________________________ __________ HOW TO CATCH A LION?? Newton 's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion . Rajnikanth Method : Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide. Karan Johar Method (director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont! Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location. Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously. George bush method: Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

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