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The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread

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Every day, i shall post one dirty joke. DISCLAIMER* I assume no responsibility for anyone being offended by the explicit nature of these jokes, nor will i be censoring them in any form. A lot of these jokes MAY contain content related to racism, sexism, feminism, paganism, bitchism and many other supposedly nasty themes which finish with the word -ism. You are viewing this at your own discretion. You have been warned. --- Since today is merely the first day, i shall begin with a light-hearted joke. This one is dedicated to all the CHINKY people out there...PEACE ---- A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Chinese bloke answers... "Harro", says the Chinese man. "Alright mate, where's your bin?" asks the dustman "I bin on toilet" replies the Chinese bloke, looking perplexed. Realising the Chinese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and says: "No mate, where's ya dust bin?" "I dust bin on toilet I told you" says the Chinese man. "Mate" says the dustman... "you're misunderstanding me...where's your Wheely Bin?" "OK" "OK" , the chinaman says, "I wheely bin having w@nk."

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Re: The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread Today's entry is dedicated to all the NUNS out there. God bless all of you, dear sweet nuns... --- A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. He asks the first nun, "Sister Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun giggles and slyly replies, "Well once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the next nun the same question, "Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate." All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns, one nuns is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush?!" The nun replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"

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Re: The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread Those frisky Irish... --- John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said; "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night !" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife !" "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John !" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

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Re: The Predator_05 Adult Humour thread Beware of domesticated farm animals...:chin: --- Once there was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but unfortunately, not one single rooster. So in order to get eggs from his chickens he went to a man and got a rooster. The man he had got the rooster from was hesitant at first - warning him that this particular rooster liked to screw EVERYTHING in sight !! But the farmer was desperate, and bought the rooster anyway. So he took it home in a cage. Arriving at the hen coop, he let it loose. The rooster sprinted right at the coop and screwed all the chickens in 2 mins flat ! The farmer was impressed, until he noticed that after a while, his rooster had begun screwing all his other farm animals as well ! Shocked, the farmer later walked up to the rooster and said, "Ya better stop screwing everythin' or you will just screw yerself to death !" But the rooster just kept on screwing ! Pigs, cows, horses, birds and even the farmer's sheep dog got one up their ends from the rooster ! A week later, one day the farmer was casually walking through his field, when he found the rooster lying on the ground, motionless. A flock of buzzards hovering above him. The rooster looked unusually pale. The farmer laughed to himself. He walked up to the rooster and said, "I told ya you'd screw yerself to death !" The rooster suddenly opened his eyes and crowed, "SHUT UP YOU IDIOT ! I'm trying to get them to LAND !"

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