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Age? Have you compromised

Rajiv

By Rajiv
in Chit Chat

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CC1981 Newbie

CC1981

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I found my first grey hair the other day too ( it was growing outta my sideburns) and i didn't care one whit. Frankly, i am surprised it took so long ( i am 26, soon to be 27) because my dad has had 'salt and pepper' looks since his mid 20s. As for the age thing, Rajeev, age is just a number. You get depressed with life easier if you got your brains filled with all these 'supposed to' in life - supposed to get a degree, supposed to get married, supposed to have kids, etc etc. Someone was even assinine enough to say that maturity is indicative of when you get married ( if thats the benchmark, Afghans are the most mature people in the world - they usually get married in their late teens without fail). In reality, maturity is indicative of how comfortable you are with yourself. Yes, everyone makes mistakes and everyone has highs and lows in their life but it is a question of acceptance. It is a question of how far is reality from your 'dream' of what you percieve yourself to be. There are very few clear-cut 'supposed to's in life. You are supposed to be honest most of the time, supposed to live within your means and supposed to treat everyone with respect. Beyond that, its just a matter of what floats your boat. In this aspect, i admire the spirit of the west far more than the spirit of India. Out here, you will see a 40 year old in a 1st year engineering class, surrounded mostly by 18 year olds and being cheery and good natured. Back there, its a cause of familial shame if you even drop a year, let alone have a career-change mid life. Our culture is stiff and not flexible to individual desires- its all full of supposed tos of conformity, which is depressing. The surest form of happiness in life is the way of the ubermensch - to simply accomplish what you desire. If you desire something- go get it/accomplish it. Chart a way, follow the path and never give up. Once you get used to accomplishing what you desire, life becomes an enjoyable journey and not a prison of 'supposed tos' and one continuous source of stress. There is nothing wrong in having kids in your 40s if thats when you figure is the best time for you. Remember, life is not a competition, neither is it a question of pulling ahead or falling behind. I recently hooked up with a highschool buddy of mine - a Bosnian who's now a comp developer in Oaklahoma, is married and has a kid. Sure, i cant tell him what its like to hold your kid in your own hands, but he can't tell me what it feels like to lay with your girlfriend in a freezing field and not give a damn because the Aurora Borealis is so magnificent. There are all kinds of experiences that are unique to the individual - what makes you happy is acceptance of your life so far and accomplishing the desires, not having some completely arbitary 'supposed tos' stuffed in your mind and then keeping score- when did they/you graduate, get married, have kids, get their first promo, etc etc. Look at it this way - you are in your 30s, the average age of man is in his 70s and you still have half of your life ahead- that is a lot of time to do whatever you wish. PS: Rajeev,Drop me a line on the personal message section. I sense the NEED for us to hang out soon and its a tragedy that we both live within 30 min drive of each other and have hung out only once. If you ever felt the need to break the monotony of life, drop me a line- i can introduce you to so many circles that'll keep you occupied and none of these circles care one jot if you are 30 or 82.

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