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Test captain and coach announced

The Outsider

By The Outsider
in Cricket Talk

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The Outsider

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After seeing how the intense pressure on Dravid, in the absence of a coach coupled with selection politics, led to his resignation after arguably the finest series win in recent history and seeing the effects of the same pressure mounting on upcoming keeper, batsman, and captain, Dhoni, Mr. Sharad Pawar summoned an emergency meeting with the board officials. The details of the meeting were not revealed to the press, but a statement was issued that a new coach and test captain had been appointed after a thorough selection process. Speaking at the occasion, Mr. Pawar said, "It was about time that I had to step in my capacity of the president of the BCCI, where a talented team might be feeling the short comings of a coach and the uncertainty of a test match captain. Since my job was limited to the coordination of this selection, I shall leave Mr. Niranjan Shah and Mr. Dilip Vengsarkar to make the remaining announcements" In a tersely worded statement, Mr. Shah said, "After renegotiating with Mr. Graham Ford and keeping in my mind the recommendation of the senior players, we have offered and Mr. Ford has accepted a 2 year term with the Indian cricket team. Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar's earlier judgement of John Wright played a major role in the final decision" Mr. Dilip Vengsarkar issued the statement about appointment of the test captain, "In a breakaway path from appointments of past Indian captains, we have decided to separate test and ODI captaincy, giving Dhoni a chance to grow and mature into a skipper who can lead us to future glories. We conceded to Rahul Dravid's demands of not interfering with team selection and have appointed him test captain for the two major series against Pakistan and Australia. We wish the team the best of luck"

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Arun Lal is our new coach. BCCI has decided that it was the only way they could keep this retard away from the microphone and put the poor TV audience out of misery. After all it was beginning to hit BCCI's pockets, with folks like Munaf & veeru gearing up for the commentary box, drawing inspiration from Arun Lal. Inzi was chosen as the new spokesperson for the Indian team, after he agreed to add "Vande Mataram" to his traditional "Bismillah-Rehman-urh-Rahim". Mohd Kaif, has been chosen as India's new captain, keeping the tradition that the lousiest performers with the bat make the greatest captains, alive.

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