DomainK Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I believe that once you have kids then forget about divorce. Children suffer the most when parents separate. So, test your marriage out for as long as you want and when you are sure that its working, have kids and once you have, put up with whatever adversities come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcolm Merlyn Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 No' date=' it was suggested that the living in girl friend would get the rights of a wife for as long as the couple live in. Not sure if it became a law or not.[/quote'] it was an interpretation of the hindu marriage act by supreme court which by virtue of article smthng smthn unde sm section and another sub section means that whatever the supreme court interprets or rules is by default considered as law........it interpreted that a live in relationship can be considered as marriage for settlement of ones assests after their death with the partner getting same rights as spouses also it give the partner same righst as spouses in case of maintenance......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texy Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Wasnt there some law passed in India that if you have live in relationship for a certain time, you'll be officially declared as married ? :hehe: I would guess those stats would differ if you apply them just to desis. Desis have a hard time letting someone go. (most times) That is such a true statement! never thought of it before but now that I think...it totally applies to most of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineleg Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 ^ Ludh does make a good point. Indians in general do find it very difficult to split. There is a lot more emotional kasa-musa (mix up). But at least to some extent live-in will give a 75% preview of what is to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabi_khota Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 People who live in before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Suck on that, whineleg. :hehe: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5840263/Couples-who-live-together-before-marriage-more-likely-to-get-divorced.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngindia Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I am supportive of this, if that works for some people, and maybe it also helps them realize if they want to stay commited and convert into marriage, or it wont work for them. some marriages don't work(to the tune of 50% in the liberal west) because most people are not startegists who can evaluate compatibility related factors like "ideology ,wavelength,core values" competently and do not usually think on a long term basis like a visionary. add to it the complication of gender differences. nothing can be done about it.. that's how human evolution is at this point. in a few cases maybe, live in relationshiops may expose obviously that the couple cant work out a equatrion at home. but in the big picture , not much will come out of it. for the foreseeable future, we have to accept that many people will continue to choose wrong partners and gender differences are not easy ot overcome in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Long term live in relationship is for people who are scared of making a commitment. I think knowing someone for a year or so is enough to decide if that person can be your life partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Long term live in relationship is for people who are scared of making a commitment. I think knowing someone for a year or so is enough to decide if that person can be your life partner. lol.. do u think tht long term live in relationship doesnt involve commitment??? for them marriage doesnt mean anything.. as they can do everything without getting married.. without any commitment, relationship doesnt lost long.. some get married just to make certain things easier.. not cuz it involves commitment.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 lol.. do u think tht long term live in relationship doesnt involve commitment??? for them marriage doesnt mean anything.. as they can do everything without getting married.. without any commitment' date=' relationship doesnt lost long.. some get married just to make certain things easier.. not cuz it involves commitment..[/quote'] Not from what I have seen. In most cases its just that they both arent ready to get married cuz they arent sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 People who live in before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Suck on that, whineleg. :hehe: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5840263/Couples-who-live-together-before-marriage-more-likely-to-get-divorced.html I think the downside of marriage following a live in is that live it kills the romance and the only thing marriage brings is the feeling of confinement- the sudden loss of freedom. One of the reasons marriage is exciting is that you get the thrill of living together, planning a life, getting accustomed to each others everyday ways of life, getting more physical more freely and more frequently. And when you come across something negative, you are more ready to adapt or compromise because you have already gained a lot out of the marriage. Live in exhausts all that thrill and romance before marriage and marriage psychologically looks like a bondage. And then, when you bump into some unexpected negative, the first thought is "OMG, is that what I got out of this marriage?". The chances of a compromise are less. The unknown factor in a marriage allows us the thrill of a marriage or a new relationship. When you marry with hardly anything new and positive to explore in each other, you are calling for a disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I think the downside of marriage following a live in is that live it kills the romance and the only thing marriage brings is the feeling of confinement- the sudden loss of freedom. One of the reasons marriage is exciting is that you get the thrill of living together, planning a life, getting accustomed to each others everyday ways of life, getting more physical more freely and more frequently. And when you come across something negative, you are more ready to adapt or compromise because you have already gained a lot out of the marriage. Live in exhausts all that thrill and romance before marriage and marriage psychologically looks like a bondage. And then, when you bump into some unexpected negative, the first thought is "OMG, is that what I got out of this marriage?". The chances of a compromise are less. The unknown factor in a marriage allows us the thrill of a marriage or a new relationship. When you marry with hardly anything new and positive to explore in each other, you are calling for a disaster. good explanation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Not from what I have seen. In most cases its just that they both arent ready to get married cuz they arent sure. it might b true for 2-3 yrs.. but long term here i mean 10yrs and more.... people wudnt waste their time (intentionally) with someone for those many years.. usually its the girls who start this breakin up thing after arnd 5 r 6 yrs when guys show the sense of unsureness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 it might b true for 2-3 yrs.. but long term here i mean 10yrs and more.... people wudnt waste their time (intentionally) with someone for those many years.. usually its the girls who start this breakin up thing after arnd 5 r 6 yrs when guys show the sense of unsureness... lol long term according to me is anything over 1 year :giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I think the downside of marriage following a live in is that live it kills the romance and the only thing marriage brings is the feeling of confinement- the sudden loss of freedom. One of the reasons marriage is exciting is that you get the thrill of living together, planning a life, getting accustomed to each others everyday ways of life, getting more physical more freely and more frequently. And when you come across something negative, you are more ready to adapt or compromise because you have already gained a lot out of the marriage. Live in exhausts all that thrill and romance before marriage and marriage psychologically looks like a bondage. And then, when you bump into some unexpected negative, the first thought is "OMG, is that what I got out of this marriage?". The chances of a compromise are less. The unknown factor in a marriage allows us the thrill of a marriage or a new relationship. When you marry with hardly anything new and positive to explore in each other, you are calling for a disaster. I dont think this is the reason for a the disaster wat u say about the thrill of living together, planning a life, getting accustomed to each others everyday ways of life, getting more physical more freely and more frequently is also true for live-in relationship.. in any relationship. after some point u ll feel bit slack, bored... its up to the people how they wanna rev up.. the whole thing of compromising in arranged marriage is social pressure.. they jus put up cuz splitting up is bad for the family, children and the social image that has been built over the years..only when it goes to the worst case, like the husband is a pyshcopathor something like tht.. only when it gets to the extreme stage, they get separated.. but in live-in u dont give a fk abt all those.. if u see tht u both have grown apart over the years.. u realize tht theres no point sticking with each other and u get separated.. ofcourse they do compromise ... no relationship works without compromise when 2 human beings are involved. its jus that there is a less degree of compromise here.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 lol long term according to me is anything over 1 year :giggle: :haha::haha: ok ok.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I dont think this is the reason for a the disaster wat u say about the thrill of living together, planning a life, getting accustomed to each others everyday ways of life, getting more physical more freely and more frequently is also true for live-in relationship.. in any relationship. after some point u ll feel bit slack, bored... its up to the people how they wanna rev up.. the whole thing of compromising in arranged marriage is social pressure.. they jus put up cuz splitting up is bad for the family, children and the social image that has been built over the years..only when it goes to the worst case, like the husband is a pyshcopathor something like tht.. only when it gets to the extreme stage, they get separated.. but in live-in u dont give a fk abt all those.. if u see tht u both have grown apart over the years.. u realize tht theres no point sticking with each other and u get separated.. ofcourse they do compromise ... no relationship works without compromise when 2 human beings are involved. its jus that there is a less degree of compromise here.. I was not talking about arranged marriages or the pressure an Indian society puts on couples. I am talking about marriages in a free society and failure and success depending on and only on the mental long term satisfaction they draw from the marriage. I was comparing marriage after a long live in (several years) and marriage without a live in. I am not supporting either (guess calling it a disaster was too much), I was just trying to find why so many marriages born out of a live in relationship fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I was not talking about arranged marriages or the pressure an Indian society puts on couples. I am talking about marriages in a free society and failure and success depending on the mental long term satisfaction they draw from the marriage. I was comparing marriage after a long live in (several years) and marriage without a live in. umm well even then i dont think live-in b4 marriage is a disaster. for these people marriage doesnt have any meaning.. as they have the commitments ,children everything with or without marriage.. infact some of these people get married after a certain point just to make certain things (w.r.t law) easier... not that marriage wud make their life different or something...cuz they can split easily even if they r married..... wat i mean to say is marriage is just a one day affair for these people.. and doesnt affect the way the look at life after that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zubinpepsi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I am not supporting either (guess calling it a disaster was too much), I was just trying to find why so many marriages born out of a live in relationship fail. ok since we r talking abt free society marriages.. is there any statistics which says the divorce rate is higher in one case compared to the other?? I am not sure how you came up with the idea that marriage born out of a livein relationship fail more than the marriages without a liven-in before.. for what I have seen I cudnt come to a conclusion like that.. but i have seen a lot of breakups after a long-term live-in (even without marriage)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 ok since we r talking abt free society marriages.. is there any statistics which says the divorce rate is higher in one case compared to the other?? I am not sure how you came up with the idea that marriage born out of a livein relationship fail more than the marriages without a liven-in before.. for what I have seen I cudnt come to a conclusion like that.. but i have seen a lot of breakups after a long-term live-in (even without marriage)... My post was in reply to the following from p_k. People who live in before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Suck on that, whineleg. :hehe: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5840263/Couples-who-live-together-before-marriage-more-likely-to-get-divorced.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabi_khota Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 ok since we r talking abt free society marriages.. is there any statistics which says the divorce rate is higher in one case compared to the other?? I am not sure how you came up with the idea that marriage born out of a livein relationship fail more than the marriages without a liven-in before.. for what I have seen I cudnt come to a conclusion like that.. but i have seen a lot of breakups after a long-term live-in (even without marriage)... Did u read my link ?:nervous: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts